


Stitched (Mafia!AU)

by arcticliars



Series: Stained (Mafia! AU) [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Haikyuu - Freeform, Lots of it, M/M, Mafia AU, Part 2, Smut, Stained (Mafia!AU), arcticliars, can't tag them though bc spoilers, first time to make a sequel ever lol, haikyuu!! - Freeform, mentions of mental illnesses, some pretty sensitive themes involved, there will be blood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2018-10-22 14:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 75,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcticliars/pseuds/arcticliars
Summary: "The phoenix must burn to emerge." —Janet Fitch





	1. idling

“Then, if everyone is ready, I’ll begin.”

The atmosphere, which had already been bleak and depressing before, seemed to settle more heavily over what was left of Karasuno’s organization as they gathered around the kitchen table.

It was so strange to not see Narita and Kinnoshita sitting together, and the feeling was so foreign that Hinata, the most superstitious of the group, had to take their chairs and placed them in the basement in an attempt to settle everyone’s nerves.

There was one chair, however, that none of them could bear to remove from the table.

Akaashi sat at the head of the table, the spot usually reserved for Daichi. The latter was seated on Akaashi’s left, looking grim and ten years older than he already was. Sugawara sat next to him, the table hiding the way his hand stretched out to the Boss in an attempt to console him. Daichi took a deep breath, before grasping Sugawara’s hand gratefully.

Across the two, Asahi and Nishinoya sat, locked together in a discreet conversation. They looked worried as they talked in hushed tones, occasionally shooting Akaashi suspicious looks.

Next to them, Tanaka and Ennoshita sat together, the latter looking the gloomiest of the group, as he had been with Narita and Kinnoshita the longest. It had been more than a week since the incident in Tokyo, but even so, the memories were as fresh and painfully vivid as if it had happened only yesterday.

Beside Sugawara was Kiyoko, who was holding a cup of tea in her hands. She had picked up a habit of drinking tea every now and then, though occasionally, one of the members would catch her pouring liquor in her cup instead of her standard oolong tea. Yachi sat in front of her, holding a similar-looking cup, but filled with coffee. Her insomnia, which she was struggling with even in her early high school days, stemmed from her tendency to overthink and worry about several matters, and had come back in full force after the incident with Shiratorizawa. One could typically find her sitting in the living room at 2 in the morning, browsing the internet, reading a book, or watching TV.

Tsukishima sat in between her and Yamaguchi, trading his usual spot for the latter’s, as he would have sat by the edge of the table. At the other head, facing Akaashi, was an empty chair that nobody occupied, and Tsukishima still didn't have the heart to be near it.

Hinata sat across him, noting how he constantly took off his glasses, wiped it (even if it was already clean), and put it back on. He came to a conclusion that it was a habit of Tsukishima’s that came out whenever he was on edge or worried. Hinata was concerned about him, of course; he had been the closest to Y/N, the only girl he’d ever truly loved, and nearly had secured a future with her. But his concerns were stretched beyond their normal boundaries for the person sitting next to him.

Kageyama had been spending time in the basement lately, despite Yachi nagging him about the mess and the dust in the room. Sometimes, they could hear him, playing heart-achingly beautiful music on the piano, enough to reduce anyone to tears if they listened long enough.

He had been at his worst for a couple of days after he went to Tokyo to visit Kuroo Akihiro and Haiba Alisa. Initially, he had refused to talk about anything regarding them, but finally agreed to do so when Akaashi came over.

He glanced at the chair next to him, feeling her absence now more than ever. It felt so incomplete without her, that it actually pained him to even hear her name. When he looked at Tsukishima, noting the way the latter was staring at the chair she once occupied, he knew the feeling was mutual.

Kageyama’s attention was turned to the other end of the table, as Akaashi began to speak.

“Several months prior, we received reports that Shiratorizawa was getting more aggressive in our region,” Akaashi began. “They weren't targeting civilians, but they were eliminating other mafias and conducting deals with other  _ yakuza  _ groups.”

“Um, excuse me,” Yachi piped up, rather timidly. “There’s one thing that bothers me. How would you differentiate  _ yakuza _ groups and mafias?”

“Simply by how they operate,” Akaashi said. “I don't know the full details myself, because we’ve never gotten the chance to speak to any  _ yakuza  _ members. But, to the best of my knowledge, I believe  _ yakuza  _ groups are far more complex in terms of organization and operations, and have access to information that even the government does not have. Simply put, they are more advanced mafias.”

When Yachi nodded in understanding, Akaashi took it as a sign to return to his original topic. “Bokuto-san is the son of one of the Emperor’s advisors,” he said. “So, we are tasked to eliminate any disturbances the government feels threatened with. Shiratorizawa’s increase in activity was one of them. We did our research, sent out our spies and deployed our men, and we came back with more information than we expected.”

Akaashi cleared his throat. “Ushijima Wakatoshi and Kuroo Tetsurou had sealed a deal that involved eliminating mafias that posed a threat to them. If you recall, they had Datekou surrender to them after devastating losses, and the same happened to similar groups. But their main goal was to eliminate one group in the north; a mafia that had overwhelming potential, was growing in both power and strength, and had a member that most other mafias would kill to recruit.”

“It’s us, isn't it?” Sugawara said.

Akaashi nodded. “Both Ushijima and Kuroo were threatened by your group, worried that you would somehow take their places as one of the top mafia groups in Japan. But they also wanted one thing; one person, to be exact.”

“Y/N,” Nishinoya said.

“Correct,” Akaashi agreed. “Y/N, as you all know, is a top-level fighter and is brilliant at whatever she does. But aside from her talent, what drew other mafias to her is that she is the daughter of two leaders in Japan’s third largest  _ yakuza  _ group: the Inagawa-kai. If someone were to claim her as their own, they could have access to unimaginable power and numbers.”

“But Y/N’s parents are dead, aren't they?” Yamaguchi asked. “They left her when she was a kid, right?”

“No, they lived until she entered her first year at university,” Akaashi replied. “According to reports, they were killed in action.”

“So Y/N should be the leader of the Inagawa-kai, if it works that way,” Tanaka said.

“Technically, yes, she should be,” Akaashi answered. “But from what she told me, she let go of her claim to the role. Said she didn't want it. So, the Inagawa-kai should have chosen a different leader by now.”

“Wait,” Yamaguchi interrupted. “She told  _ you _ ? How do you know Y/N?”

At this, Akaashi looked visibly embarrassed. “Ah, Y/N and I—”

“Were a thing, back when she was in Nekoma,” Tsukishima finished, in a bored tone. “Kuroo and Bokuto-san were bickering with each other, and sent her and Akaashi-san to fight each other. One thing lead to another, and it was a full-blown affair. She was with Kuroo at the time. She felt so guilty about it, she broke up with both of them and ran straight here to us.”

When the others looked shocked at the way he had said everything so nonchalantly, he simply shrugged. “I'm over it. Doesn't matter.”

Akaashi smiled crookedly. “That just about sums it all up.”

“That sounds like something out of a  _ shoujou  _ manga,” Asahi said. “But what I really want to know is why Y/N gave up her spot as a  _ yakuza  _ leader. She’s more than qualified for that role. She might become the most powerful one.”

Kageyama’s memories flashed back to the scene in the warehouse, where Tendou Satori had her by the neck, taunting her with all the things and lies she had told.

_ “I didn’t…” Y/N coughed. “Didn’t…want to…hurt…anyone…” _

“She didn't want to hurt people,” he said out loud, causing them to look at him.

“Yeah,” Nishinoya said. “I remember her saying that, too. But she still ended up in Nekoma…”

“Which brings me back to that,” Akaashi said. “Basically, Kuroo was working with Shiratorizawa to eliminate you, and retrieve Y/N. He had no intentions of working with Karasuno; he just wanted her.”

“Well, he failed, didn't he?” Kageyama said, rather bitterly. “Shiratorizawa’s now leaderless and down to a critical number of members, and Y/N’s…”

He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“Well, that’s true,” Akaashi said. “So I think it’s safe to say that Kuroo’s plan was foiled.”

“I don't think so,” Daichi said, finally speaking after a while. “Akaashi, Tendou mentioned something about the “new world”. Do you think…”

“Ah, that,” Akaashi said, rather grimly. “Yeah, I think that’s it.”

“What is?” Ennoshita asked.

“It was a part of Kuroo and Ushijima’s plan,” Akaashi explained. “They’d brought in several mafia bosses to discuss it. Of course, nobody accepted. It was too absurd.”

“Daichi,” Sugawara said. “You were in on this?”

Daichi nodded. “It was too risky. No, it was an insane idea. And I feel like refusing Kuroo’s idea made him...you know. Plot against us.”

“That could be it,” Akaashi said. “But Kuroo had no intentions of working with you from the beginning, Daichi-san.”

“Well, neither did you,” Nishinoya said. “Fukurodani was against us, too. Or have you forgotten what happened in that alleyway?”

“Nishinoya,” Sugawara said, warningly.

Akaashi held up a hand. “It’s okay. I’d like to apologize to you about that, as I have done for Tsukishima-kun. We were quite desperate to find Y/N at that time, and I got carried away by Bokuto-san.”

Tanaka scoffed. “So you want Y/N too, huh?”

“Of course we do. I’d be lying if I said we weren't interested in her talent,” Akaashi said smoothly. “But it’s clear that Y/N had chosen the place she calls home. For someone who never stays in one place for so long, who was I to pull her away?”

He shrugged. “All our efforts were put into looking for Y/N. I wanted to save her, get to her before Kuroo did. And...I suppose we failed. All of us did.”

“So,” Ennoshita said. “The times we fought…”

“Even going as far as to break my ribs…” Kiyoko added.

“That was for Y/N,” Yachi finished. “You tried to save her, but we retaliated.”

“I don't blame you,” Akaashi said. “It’s a natural response. But I want everyone to understand right now: we are not your enemies. Bokuto-san agrees, as well. We need to work together to stop Kuroo and Nekoma.”

“What’s he planning, then?” Hinata said.

Akaashi turned to him, a dark look in his usually composed features. “He’s about to repeat history,” he said. “And seize control of the highest power in the country.”

 

* * *

 

_ He was in a dark room, filled with nothing but an empty chair under a cheap ceiling light. He turned around, searching for anything that could tell him where he was. _

_ There were no windows, no doors, no means of letting anything or anybody in. But suddenly, he felt a presence behind him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. _

_ He whirled around, and saw a familiar brunette that stood a few inches taller than him. A familiar smirk was on his face, and was further illuminated as he stepped into the only light source. _

_ Kageyama’s throat closed up. “...Oikawa-san.” _

_ “Hello, Tobio-chan,” the younger-looking Oikawa Tooru said, putting emphasis on the honorific for endearment. “I’m glad you agreed to do this.” _

_ “W-what?” _

_ Oikawa gestured to something in Kageyama’s hand, and he lifted up to see that he was holding a gun. _

_ “What is this?” _

_ “Your ticket to a new world,” Oikawa said, his voice suddenly shifting into a deeper one. It was so strange; one moment, he sounded like himself, the next, an entirely different person. “A world that accepts people like us.” _

_ “Oikawa-san, I...I don't—” _

_ “Well, then, let’s begin,” Oikawa said, as if he didn't hear Kageyama. “All you have to do...is shoot her.” _

_ “I...who?” Kageyama looked at the chair, which was now occupied by a figure. Since Oikawa had referred to it as a “her”, he had to guess that it was a girl. _

_ “No,” he said immediately, feeling the gun grow heavier in his hand. _

_ “I take it you know her?” Oikawa smirked devilishly, as he crouched behind the chair. “This is the person that’s holding you back from what you can truly become. She’s holding you down, Tobio-chan. Let go of her.” _

_ “Absolutely not,” Kageyama said, trying to let go of the gun, but it seemed to be stuck to his hand. He growled, trying to get it off, but failing. _

_ Oikawa traced the outline of her exposed shoulder. “Oh, come now,” he chided. “She’s the reason why you can't be the best sniper in Japan. You could be that person. You could surpass me. You could be the best.” _

_ “I don't want to surpass you,” Kageyama retorted. “I’m not going to be like you, Oikawa-san. Let her go.” _

_ “No, you're the one who has to let go,” Oikawa said. “She’s...how do I say it...dead weight.” _

_ Kageyama’s eyes widened. _

_ He brought the gun up, loaded it, and pointed it Oikawa. He was breathing heavily, but the latter was smiling. _

_ “You owe it to her, don't you think?” _

_ He froze. _

_ He pulled the trigger, but Oikawa was already gone. _

_ Kageyama wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to settle his nerves. He had been here before, he knew what he had to go through… _

_ But why did it feel so different this time? _

_ “Why?” _

_ She spoke, and just a single word sent chills down his spine. He looked down at her, breath hitching as he found her already staring up at him. _

_ Her eyes. _

_ The same eyes, that had hooked into his soul deep enough to make marks, were drilling into him now with an intensity that left him breathless. It was a look he had missed for so long; an almost animalistic look that he had been craving all this time. _

_ “Why?” she repeated. “Why did you leave me?” _

_ Kageyama swallowed thickly, trembling from head to toe as he struggled to meet her gaze. “I—I couldn't—I’m sorry—” _

_ “Sorry doesn't cut it,” she interrupted coldly. _

_ He inhaled sharply, and his head snapped up to look at her. _

_ The room had shifted again, and this time,  _ **_he_ ** _ was the one in the chair. _

_ Y/N emerged from the darkness, holding him captive with her gaze as she walked over. _

_ It was her, Kageyama was sure of  it. Her hair, seemingly longer than before, rippled around her as she moved, resembling long, dangerous whips. He could practically feel the tension that rolled off her body: poised, and yet, still ready to fight. She looked terrifyingly beautiful, the kind of beauty you'd see in a gleaming knife before it tore the life away from you. _

_ But somehow, he couldn't feel the same aura from her. She projected one that put him on edge, and not at ease like she always did. _

_ “How mean, Tobio,” Y/N said mockingly. “Leaving my dead body out there to rot. All because you didn't want to burden yourself with yet another failed relationship.” _

_ “That's not it!” Kageyama protested. “I didn't want to leave you—honest, I just—” _

_ “Couldn't bring yourself to do it?” A finger pushed his chin up, forcing him to face her and the smirk she wore. “All you had to do was bring me back home.” _

_ “I’m sorry,” he said, feeling his chest tighten at her words. She loathed him, there was no mistaking it. _

_ “Hmm.” Suddenly, she was behind him, sliding her arms over his shoulders. He tensed, as she pulled him to sit up straight. “I suppose I could forgive you, if you could do one thing for me.” _

_ “And...and what is that?” _

_ Y/N hummed again, and his breath hitched as he felt her lips ghost over the side of his neck, trailing all the way up to his ear. “Release me.” _

_ “W-what?” _

_ “You heard me,” she purred, and he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He immediately wished he hadn't done that; she was looking at him with such an enticing, seductive stare, that he nearly caved right then and there. “Let go. Let me take control.” _

_ “Control...of what?” _

_ “Of you, Tobio,” she answered, and he bit back a groan as he felt one of her hands travel down his front. “Oikawa was right. I’m holding you down because you don't accept me. Deep down, you're scared of me, aren't you?” _

_ She laughed, and the sound made his heart race. _

_ “You have every right to be scared,” she continued. “I can make you do things you never realized you could do. I can give you power beyond your wildest dreams. I could help you surpass all boundaries known to man. All you have to do...is accept me. Let go.” _

_ “No,” he said, trying to sound firm. _

_ “Oh?” Y/N smirked as she hooked her fingers onto the hem of his shirt, and slowly pulled it up, enjoying the way he gasped as her knuckles grazed across his stomach. “But don't you want to avenge me? Don't you want to make up for your mistakes?” _

_ “I do,” he answered, struggling to regain composure. “But I could kill you. I could hurt people.” _

_ “Yes, you would,” Y/N agreed. “But you'll have me. And you'll have power. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?” _

_ “But—” _

_ Suddenly, she was in front of him once more. This time, the gun he was holding was in her hand. She smiled, loaded it, and pointed it at him. _

_ Call him a masochist, but he thought there was nothing more beautiful than Y/N holding a gun to his face. _

_ “Release me,” she said calmly. _

_ Kageyama sighed, and braced himself. “I said, no. The real Y/N wouldn't want me to hurt anyone.” _

_ She smiled once more, and he nearly smiled back. _

_ “Too bad,” she said, as she raised the gun to her temple. _

_ Shock coursed through him. “Y/N, no!” _

_ He reached out for her, but she had already pulled the trigger, and stumbled into his arms, dead as a doornail. _

 

“No!”

Kageyama shot up, panting heavily. He was drenched in sweat, and from the state of his bed, he had been thrashing around in his sleep.

Next to his bed, Hinata had stirred; he poked his sleepy head out of his fort of pillows and blinked in the darkness. “Kageyama?” he called sleepily.

“S-sorry,” Kageyama answered, trembling. “Just...had a nightmare, that’s all.”

“Really?” Hinata said, rubbing his eyes. “I’ve been having them, too.”

“Yeah.” Kageyama placed his head in his hands, trying to steady his breathing and regulate his heartbeat.

“Hey.” Hinata’s voice was quiet, soothing. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Kageyama lied. “Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay. Get some water if you can't sleep.”

In a few seconds, the orange-haired sniper was snoring away.

Kageyama laid back down, after picking up the pillows he had thrown in his sleep. He’d never dreamt something like that before; at least, not in a long time. In fact, he’d noticed that his dreams were getting even more and more intense, with the same ending every single time.

Maybe he should take a leaf out of Kiyoko’s book and help himself to some tequila every now and then.

_ Let go. Let me take control. _

_ Not happening,  _ he thought, as he rolled over.  _ Not in a million years. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this series, and welcome to the sequel of Stained — Stitched!
> 
> I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who's supported this series from the beginning. I've fallen in love with the responses and comments people leave on my chapters and it's the one thing I'm excited to wake up to whenever I update. I hope you guys will still be just as enthusiastic with this second work.
> 
> To answer some questions, yes, this is a series, but this work will be the last one if we follow the current flow of events. Perhaps I have a prequel in store? Perhaps a little story about Kuroo and Reader's backstory? Hmm.
> 
> Quick note: I've been sprinkling some hints and symbolisms in part 1 (Stained). Can you guys find and interpret them? Good luck!
> 
> I look forward to spending another amazing journey with you again! Thank you so much for reading!


	2. ten of swords

Her hand suddenly lashed out, and wrapped his wrist in a vice-like grip.

She felt him stiffen in surprise, before hearing a soft chuckle. “You were awake, huh?”

Y/N opened her eyes.

She blinked in surprise upon seeing the bright fluorescents above her, and slowly but surely, the rest of her senses began to wake up as well.

She inhaled, and then exhaled slowly. She took a look around her, concluding from the beeping machines and the clean, refreshing smell, that she was in a medical institution.

She turned her head to the left, where her hand was still holding his wrist. From the way he was positioned, he looked like he was about to stroke her hair.

“Beautiful as ever,” he whispered.

Y/N’s grip on him tightened. “Where am I?”

Kuroo pulled out an empty chair, before sitting down and making himself comfortable. “Home.”

“Don't fuck with me,” she hissed. “Why? Why did you shoot me?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh, you remember that?”

“I remember everything, asshole. I also remember that we were fighting the wrong enemy all along.”

He laughed and shook his head. “For the record, I wasn't aiming for you. The bullet was for...what was his name again? Kageyama Tobio?”

Her grip on him slackened.

_ Tobio… _

“He wasn't going to die, if you must know,” Kuroo said. “I wanted to break you even more, see how you would respond to a situation like that. I hoped you would come running back to me, like you always did.”

He reached over to the next table, picking up the same bullet that had pierced her and holding it up for her to see.

She knew that bullet; months ago, Karasuno had gone to Seijoh’s laboratory, and had seen those oddly-shaped bullets that were supposed to knock the opponent out, not kill them.

“Well, I got more than I bargained for,” Kuroo said. “I'm definitely not complaining. All I wanted was to have you back.”

“What am I, a library book?” Y/N snarled. “You set us up! You were behind this...you were behind everything! It should have been you that we should have gone after!”

“I’ll explain,” Kuroo said calmly. “If you calm down and let go of my hand.”

She’d barely realized that she was still holding onto him, and reluctantly let go. The fact that it was enough to bother him was a small consolation.

Kuroo cleared his throat. “Yeah, I set everything up,” he said. “From the moment you walked out of Nekoma to this very second.”

Y/N’s eyes widened as he stood up, and began to pace the room. “ _ I  _ sent Johzenji after you. I put Terushima under strict orders that you were not to be harmed, but, you turned the tables on him. Just as I expected you to do.”

She could distinctly remember the dying Terushima’s words.  _ You’d be surprised at how easy you are to track down, not with the information given to us. I was under orders to keep you alive… _

“You sent them there.”

“They were strong, weren't they?” Kuroo said, leaning on the counter in front of them. “Troublesome group. They were wrecking havoc and growing in power, so it’s natural that I had to eliminate them. But, they had to serve a purpose, first.”

Y/N sat up, groaning as her head spun. Everything was starting to connect. “Then you...you told Semi to invite Oikawa?” she said. “And called Tendou while Tobio and I were talking to him?”

“Catching on, then?” Kuroo grinned. “The deal I had with Ushijima was simple. Seize control of the capital city, and eliminate any other groups that were in our way. He was more than willing to share control of his men with me, so as long as we were able to gain something.”

“And…” Y/N was shaking now. “You sent Kei to Fukurodani.”

“That, I didn't do,” he said. “You really need to keep that boy on a leash. I didn't expect him to go straight to Bokuto.”

A moment of silence fell between them, as Y/N tried to take it all in.

“Why?” she asked. “Why would you go through such inconvenient lengths—sacrifice innocent lives—just for me?”

“Don't you remember?” Suddenly, Kuroo’s face was painfully close to hers; the suddenly close proximity causing her to freeze. He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look up at him. “Seven years ago, I said I’d do anything for you. I’d do anything to keep you by my side. This is the least I could do for you, Y/N.”

She stared at him, and for the first time, she felt unsettled looking into his cat-like hues. His expression was that of a nonchalant grin, but it looked a little unhinged; like she was the little mouse that he had been aching to devour completely.

“I had one task for you, Y/N,” he said, in a low tone. “One promise I had you keep before you left. Do you still remember what that was?”

Y/N closed her eyes, refusing to answer. She shivered as she felt his lips brushing dangerously against her own. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't pull away—Kuroo had always managed to hold her down with a single word or action.

“Wipe out Karasuno,” he answered for her, and she swallowed thickly. “I knew you were planning to leave, so I had Ukai Jr. call Daichi up and offer to take you in. I made you promise, when you asked to leave, that you would bring to me, one by one, the corpses of the Karasuno members. That was the condition for me to let you leave. After all…” She whimpered as his voice dropped an octave. “...you do pay your debts, don't you, Y/N?”

“And what did you do...?”

Y/N felt his fingers trace her cheek, and she fought the urge to smack it away.

“You fell for one of  _ them _ ,” Kuroo hissed. “You betrayed me, broke our promise, and completely, utterly, destroyed me.”

“Get away from me,” she choked, pushing him away. But her weakened form was no match for Kuroo, proven by the way he grabbed her hands so casually.

“We’re going to build a world anew,” he vowed. “I’ll seize control of the capital, ensure the country is run by people like us, and finally own the power that is due to Nekoma. But I can't do this alone.”

Y/N struggled, but Kuroo held on. “I'll never let you stray away from me anymore,” he said, his tone low and commanding. “You'll help me train my men. You'll be by my side when we storm the palace, and take your rightful place as my empress. Think of it: we’ll be the most powerful rulers Japan has ever seen, ushering in the era of mafia leaders. No one in this business won’t ever have to hide. Not when we’re at the helm.”

“You're completely mad,” Y/N cried, trying to wrestle her hands out of Kuroo’s grasp. “Are you listening to yourself?!”

“We struggled to get to the top, didn't we?” Kuroo asked. “We had to stay undercover, we had to steer clear of these fucking civilians, we had to be wary of the fucking government. But why should  _ we  _ be afraid of them when we’re superior in all aspects? We’re fighters. We’re rich. We know things even the government doesn't. We should be in charge, Y/N. Don't you think?”

“No, I don't!” Y/N succeeded in pulling away, and proceeded to rip the wires and tubes that were connecting her to the various machines.  _ I gotta get out,  _ she thought, as she ripped off the covers and jumped out of the bed.  _ I gotta warn Daichi—Karasuno— _

The door suddenly slid close, and she ran right into it.

“Where do you think you're going?” Kuroo asked, leaning against the wall next to the door, the anger obvious in his tone. “Haven’t I just said I wasn't going to let you stray away from me?”

“Kuroo, listen to me,” Y/N said, putting on her most convincing tone, swallowing her pride and moving closer to put her hands on his chest, knowing that the gesture would surely catch his attention. And for a moment, it worked; he smiled down at her, and she tried to push away the creeping feeling up her spine. “I don't know what Ushijima has been telling you, but I’m telling you, nothing good will ever come out of always seeking for power.”

Kuroo laughed. “Ushijima? He didn't tell me that. It’s the opposite, actually. By the way, thanks for taking care of them for me—I was wondering how I was going to break it to them that I wasn't really willing to share.”

At this, Y/N stepped back. “You...lied to them, too?” she said in disbelief. “Just how many lies have you told?”

“Look who’s talking,” he said, crossing his arms. “Coming from the person who fabricated her past and painted herself as some poor orphan coming from old money.”

She ground her teeth in frustration and shook her head. “Whatever. The point is, you can't seriously be considering taking over the monarchy; do you even realize the implications of that? Riots, rebellions, chaos! You'd be sending this country into hell! Do you really think pursuing a power you can never reach will be worth all of those?”

“Of course I do,” Kuroo replied. “I’ll cut down anyone in my way. I’ve tasted power, and guess what?”

He dragged his tongue over his lips, while wearing a devilish smirk. “I want  _ more _ .”

Y/N clicked her tongue. “You’re an idiot. And what makes you think I’ll cooperate with you?”

“Because I have something of yours—no,  _ ours _ ,” Kuroo said, grinning at the sudden realization that dawned on Y/N’s face. “That you’ll surely miss when you poke a little paw out of line.”

Fear and dread flooded her system. “N-no way…”

She squeaked as Kuroo wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to his chest. All her efforts to detach herself from him were in vain, as Kuroo was currently stronger than her. She hated how she was so weak, and she hated the power he had over her, even after all these years.

When she did pull away, she backed up against the nearest corner, chest tightening in fear. “Kuroo, I’m begging you, don't touch Akihiro,” she begged, hating the weakness evident even in her tone. “He’s just a boy. He doesn't have to be involved in this.”

He held his hands up. “Calm down. I'm not going to hurt him. I’ve already made plans to send him abroad with Nekomata-sensei, and enroll him in a new school there. Maybe China? I’d like him to pick up some martial arts there.”

“China?” Y/N said in disbelief. “What—you—what makes you think you can just send him away like that?! At least  _ tell  _ me first before you make decisions like that! That’s  _ my  _ son, Kuroo, don't I get a say in how he lives his life?!”

“He’s my son, too, remember?” Kuroo said. “He’ll do just fine there. He’s smart. And he’ll grow competent, so he’ll be next in line after us.”

“Like I said,” Y/N screamed, running towards him and slamming her hands desperately on his chest. “We’re not going to take part in your absurd plan, and Aki is not going to be involved in this business!”

Kuroo grabbed her chin, rather forcefully, causing her to close her mouth. He was glaring at her now, the anger glinting in his eyes.

“How sweet,” he mocked. “They say a mother’s love goes beyond normal boundaries. That’s what’s kept you going, huh? Why you rushed here under the impression that Ushijima held Aki hostage. A mother’s love is strong, but it’s become the reason for your demise.”

She pulled away from him, backing up into the corner once more, eyes filling with tears.

“You won't get a chance to pull this off,” she vowed. “We’ll stop you before you can.”

At this, Kuroo laughed. “ “We”? Are you referring to your pet birds in Karasuno? The same ones who left your dead body to rot?”

Y/N paled. “That’s...they…”

“It’s been weeks,” Kuroo said. “You'd think they’d send somebody to at look for you. But it seems like they've given up. They’ve completely abandoned you, haven't they? Can't be bothered to risk their lives for a comrade?”

She wanted to protest, prove that he was wrong. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of her head that suggested that somehow, just somehow, Kuroo was actually talking sense.

Her heart dropped into her stomach. Being abandoned wasn't something she was used to.

“But don't worry,” Kuroo said, walking over to her. “If they do come—but I really doubt they will—I’ll make sure they won't succeed.”

Her throat constricted as he moved closer to her ear, breathing in her scent before pressing his lips against her ear. “I’ll kill each and every one of them before they can get a glimpse of you.”

Her knees felt weak as Kuroo nonchalantly pulled away from her, and walked towards the door. “Your claws have gotten a bit blunt,” he commented. “But don't worry. We’ll get them sharpened soon.”

As soon as he left the room, closing and locking the door behind him, Y/N sank to the floor, the sobs wracking her entire body.


	3. chaos

Tsukishima was still confused as to why he was still here.

The sunlight streamed into Y/N’s room through the balcony doors, bathing her furniture in a soft, warm glow. Oddly enough, the warmth that was spreading through his body was the same warmth he felt whenever she was in his arms, and whenever she woke up next to him.

He found the room to be in the exact same state as he had left it. If he concentrated hard enough, he could still imagine Y/N on the bed, still pregnant, munching away from a bag of popcorn and reading a book.

Even her clothes were still in the closet, untouched and waiting to be used by an owner who would never return.

_Creepy. I’m getting emotional over clothes._

He walked over to her side of the bed, and sat down on it. It felt foreign to be occupying the bed that was supposedly built for two, and the fact that she had once slept there somehow put him on edge.

Tsukishima pulled out a drawer from the bedside table, and rummaged around inside. His fingers knocked papers aside, ran into hair pins, and even knocked over a small bottle of perfume, before he got what he was looking for.

He pulled out the circular music box, running his fingers across the gold accents, reminiscing the day he had come home from a short trip to France and gifting it to her.

She had smacked his arm and turned her back to him for a few moments, before whirling back around to grab it and kiss him briefly, her eyes looking a little misty.

He smiled at the memory, and he placed the music box back into the drawer.

Truth be told, he wasn't feeling the grief of losing Y/N actually kick in. It scared him to no end that at some point, it was actually going to sink in that she—the love of his life, his fiancée, almost the mother of his children—was gone forever.

He’d already seen its effects on Kiyoko and Yachi, who, along with Y/N, had kept each other’s backs as the only female members in Karasuno. Kiyoko especially, whom Tsukishima knew loved Y/N like a sister.

Kageyama seemed to be doing just fine with the situation, although at times he had the tendency to space out. As much as Tsukishima wanted to blame him, he simply couldn't; after all, he was there for Y/N in her final moments. Though he was the reason why she was gone in the first place, the remorse he was feeling should be punishment enough; according to Hinata, Kageyama had been muttering in his sleep again.

Tsukishima was devastated, obviously, when Sugawara had called to tell them the news, and almost broke down when they came back without her body. He wanted to return to Tokyo and look for her himself, but Daichi was adamant that no one was to leave.

And then, Kageyama went to Tokyo, coming back with the news that no one was expecting to hear.

So Y/N _had_ lied to him after all, and he realized that Akihiro was the one thing that kept her and Kuroo together. Tsukishima had met the kid only once, and when he remembered the familiar gleam and intensity reflected in the boy’s eyes, he found himself unable to deny that Akihiro was, in fact, Kuroo and Y/N’s biological son.

It should have been the final blow to his self-esteem. Well, what was left of it, anyway. But he knew Y/N, and that there was always a reason why she had so many secrets.

And if she had to sacrifice herself to keep them from falling into the wrong hands, she would do it.

A knock came on the door. “Tsukki?” Yamaguchi called. “Kageyama’s been asking for you.”

He frowned. “What for?”

“I dunno. He’s in the gym.”

Tsukishima clicked his tongue and stood up. As he walked out of the room, he took one last long at the space, reliving the memories that came with it. The night they slept together for the first time, the morning after, the endless cuddles after long and strenous operations, finding out she was pregnant, kissing her goodbye before leaving for Tokyo…

Before he could shed a tear, he closed the door.

 

* * *

 

Sometime after Y/N joined Karasuno, the first thing she did was convert her old bedroom into a gym.

She had the room cleared, repainted, and bought all the needed equipments and machinery. She even called Kozume Kenma up so he could send her some punching bags and boxing gloves. Apparently, kickboxing was a hobby of hers.

Tsukishima pushed the door open, to find Kageyama putting on hand wraps and standing on a padded mat. Judging by his sweaty appearance, he must have been working out for a while.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Tsukishima said dryly.

Kageyama looked up at him while wrapping his hands in tape, then returned his attention to what he was doing. “You got a minute?” he asked.

“Depends on what you’ll say.”

Kageyama fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Tsukishima glanced at Kageyama, and saw the latter stretching his arm; the very same area where he was stabbed.

“Did you get that checked?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Kageyama grunted as he stretched out a particularly sore part. “Just needs therapy, that’s all.”

“I'm pretty sure therapy doesn't involve punching things.”

“Well...whatever,” Kageyama mumbled, raising his fists up. Tsukishima watched as he began to punch the bag in front of him.

Kageyama seemed to put so much effort into hitting the bag, as if it had somehow offended him. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he threw punch after punch, beads of sweat rolling down his face and drenching his shirt.

He looked...troubled. Nervous, even.

“You got something to say, big guy?”

Kageyama grunted, his punches picking up speed.

"Look,” Tsukishima said, slightly irritated. “I didn't ask for a front row seat to your angsty punching show. If you haven't got anything to tell me, I’ll leave.”

Kageyama paused, breathing heavily. He wiped the sweat from his brow, and paced for a minute in place.

Finally, he stopped in front of Tsukishima, looking him in the eye.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow. “What for?”

“Y/N.” Kageyama paused, taking a deep breath. “It’s my fault, I should have properly apologized to you—”

“Don't. It’s creepy.” Tsukishima sighed. “I want to blame you. Really, I do. But I know Y/N. That was her decision to make, and nobody could have stopped her even if we turned back time—”

“Ikissedher.”

“What?”

“I…” Kageyama cleared his throat, before glaring in the opposite direction. “I...kissed her, too.”

Tsukishima blinked. His expression turned from confused, to angry, to a look of resignation.

“Well...that’s fucked up,” he managed to say. He honestly didn't know what to make of what Kageyama just confessed. On one hand, he felt obligated to slam Kageyama’s head into the ground, because it was _his_ fiancée he had kissed, after all. On the other, however, because Y/N was no longer around to get an earful (or, a mouthful, if Tsukishima had his way with her), he didn't feel like acting on it. And on another, imaginary third hand, he wanted to be upset at Y/N’s lack of will and restraint.

“Yeah. Just...thought you should know.” Kageyama returned his attention to the punching bag. “I’m sorry.”

“I told you, stop apologizing,” Tsukishima said. “We can't do anything about that now, can we? Just forget it ever happened.”

Kageyama internally winced at the remark. He didn't really _want_ to forget; as if he could.

“And like I told you before, I knew you loved her,” Tsukishima added, turning his back on him and walking out of the room. “If you haven't noticed already, I’m on the losing side here. You loved her, and she loved you enough to take a bullet for you. So, if you'll give me a few years to rebuild my self-esteem, that would be great. See you.”

Kageyama blinked as Tsukishima closed the door behind him, for the first time feeling guilty over the pain he’d caused the blonde.

 _It’ll be a cold day in hell before I’ll apologize to Tsukishima Kei,_ he had thought before.

But, like all promises go, he had just gone and broken the one he himself made.

 

* * *

 

“What have we got?” Ennoshita asked, looking up from his laptop as Daichi came through the front door, with Sugawara, Nishinoya, and Hinata following close behind.

Daichi pointed at the suitcase in Sugawara’s hand. “A fuckton of money that’s worth more than my college education,” he said. “And one less drug den to clean up. I can't believe I’m saying this, but Fukurodani’s been really helpful.”

“Yeah,” Nishinoya agreed. “They've got access to places that I didn’t even know existed. And because it’s technically a government-sanctioned operation, I reckon they’d pay a fortune just to throw the nearest criminal down the street into jail.”

Hinata, who had gone upstairs to take a shower, stopped by the room he and Kageyama shared. As soon as he entered the room, however, he caught Kageyama in bed, holding a phone and texting away.

“Since when did you get a phone?” Hinata asked, startling Kageyama.

“Jesus,” Kageyama muttered.

“Nope. Close enough, though, Asahi-san’s downstairs making dinner.” Hinata plopped down on his bed. “Where’d you get the phone?”

“Oh...Alisa had a spare one lying around,” Kageyama answered, turning his attention back to the phone. “Told me to take it.”

“Oh, it’s “Alisa” now, is it?” Hinata teased. “No Haiba-san? Alisa-neechan?”

“You sound like Aki,” Kageyama said, though the blush was prominent on his cheeks. “She doesn't mind.”

“And you two are texting, huh?” Hinata rolled over to face Kageyama. “A bit too early for that, is it?”

Kageyama’s glare was terrifying as he looked at the hitman. “Too early for what?”

“N-nothing!” Hinata stammered. “Just...Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san would be so jealous that someone like you would be texting someone as pretty as Alisa-san.”

“Oh. Huh.”

Hinata left to take a shower after that, and Kageyama’s phone buzzed once more.

_I’d really love to see Y/N’s old house. That’s where you guys are, right?_

He frowned. Why did she want to come over? Where would she leave Akihiro? What would she do here? Would Daichi even allow it?

_I’m not sure the rest of Karasuno would be friendly towards someone in Nekoma._

He cringed as he realized how blunt he sounded, and for a minute, he was afraid that she would be offended, and he'd ruin what seemed to be the only friendship he had outside of Karasuno.

He exited the messenger app and scrolled through the phone, finding that Alisa had forgotten to delete a few of her files. There was nothing to be seen, except her notes from university and a few selfies with her brother, Haiba Lev, of the other Nekoma members, what seemed to be her relatives, and a few of her friends.

He was scrolling through her camera roll when a particular photo caught his attention, and he opened it.

Y/N looked significantly younger in the picture, pulling a silly face as she posed with Alisa for a selfie. Kageyama smiled, as he swiped right, revealing Alisa playfully kissing Y/N’s cheek while the latter laughed.

He’d never really taken into account that Y/N and Alisa were very good friends, despite knowing each other for only a year. That loyalty to each other extended as far as Y/N putting the fate and life of her only son in her hands, and Alisa trusting Y/N despite being given so little information.

 _You know, it wouldn't be so bad to blindly trust someone,_ Y/N had told him, on the night they met. _Really put your life in their hands. It either ends well, or in a pool of your own blood._

 _Well,_ he thought. _We all know where that got you._

The phone vibrated once more, and Kageyama opened Alisa’s message.

_Haha! Fair enough. I don't bite, though. Unless you want me to?_

She sent it with a wink emoji, bewildering Kageyama.

“Oi! Dinner’s ready!” Yamaguchi called from downstairs.

At that, Kageyama stood up, stretched, and put his phone down before going downstairs. Before he could head to the kitchen, a knock came on the door.

“Oh, Kageyama-kun,” a passing Yachi said, holding a basket of laundry in her arms. “Sorry, could you get that for me? My hands are full.”

Kageyama nodded and went to answer the door.

“Ye—”

His eyes widened.

It took him a second to process what was happening, and the door was open long enough for Tanaka, who was coming downstairs, to see who was on their front porch.

Before he knew it, Kageyama was pushed aside by Ennoshita and Sugawara, guns out and pointing at the unexpected visitor, wearing similar expressions of hatred.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ennoshita snarled.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“What? What happened?” Hinata, who was running down the stairs, shouted. Suddenly, he stopped at the sight of the person on the doorstep, who was holding his hands up rather reluctantly in surrender.

“H-hold on,” he stammered. “You...Kenma!”

Nekoma’s top hacker turned to Hinata, brushing his blonde hair out of his face. “Hey, Shouyou,” he said, awfully calm for someone who had two people threatening to kill him. “Could we all maybe calm down for a second?”


	4. avaricious

Lev fell back on the mat, grunting as the air was knocked out of his lungs for what seemed like the millionth time.

“Too slow,” Y/N said. “Again!”

“Are you freaking kidding me?” Lev muttered, standing up and retrieving his staff. “I went through a year of her training before, and I’m still not used to it?”

A little crowd had formed in the training center, watching in awe as Y/N tossed and twirled a wooden staff in her hands as easily as one would with a ballpoint pen. The fluidity of her movements seemed to imply that the staff was simply an extended part of her body.

Lev let out a yell as he charged Y/N once more, feigning a strike to her face before aiming for her feet, attempting to knock her off-balance.

She dodged it, leaping over his staff before smacking her own into his gut. Grunting, Lev landed a successful jab to her ribs, and she retaliated by grabbing the end of his staff, swinging her leg up with incredibly flexibility, and bringing it down to split the wood in half.

“Amazing,” a younger Nekoma member said. “Who’s she?”

Yaku Morisuke, Kuroo’s second-in-command, smiled at the sight. “That’s Y/N,” he explained. “Years ago, she and Kuroo brought Nekoma to the top of its game. She’s the daughter of two Inagawa-kai leaders, too.”

“Oh, so that’s the Black Cat of Nekoma?”

“Yeah.” Yaku watched as Y/N somehow managed to block Lev’s punch with her staff, and quickly swept his feet out from under him. “So far, she’s the only person I know who’s beaten Yamamoto; at least, in training.”

Nekoma’s strongest member, who had been standing rather close to Yaku, shot him a dirty look.

Lev groaned as Y/N hovered over him, planting her staff down in front of her. “You're too predictable,” she said. “If you keep aiming for the legs, then your enemy’s going to figure out a way to defeat you with that in mind. Be as spontaneous and unorthodox as you can be.”

He clicked his tongue as he managed to grin up at her. “You're as strict as ever,” he said. “It’s annoying.”

Y/N managed a dry smile, before holding her hand out to help him up.

As soon as the people in the center cleared out, and Lev had finally retired to the showers, Y/N was left on the mat where she had been training the new recruits since 6 am. She picked up Lev’s broken staff and sighed, making a mental note to buy him a new one.

Her life back at Nekoma was...numbing, to say the least. She’d completely abandoned every ounce of hope that she would be saved, shutting down every opportunity that came her way, knowing that Akihiro’s life was on the line. And so, she forced herself back into her old routines, in the place that she once considered home.

Wake up. Eat breakfast. Train. Lunch. Train. Dinner. Sleep. Hold off Kuroo’s increasingly disturbing moves on her. It was like she was living in a broken record player; repeating the same song, over and over again.

She took a quick shower before returning to her room, which was a spare room that no one seemed to clean. She didn't mind, though; the further she stayed away from Kuroo, the better.

Y/N headed to the window, and pushed the curtains to the side to view the environment outside.

Nekoma’s headquarters resided in the suburban part of Tokyo, meaning it was quieter than the actual city. It had expanded in the months she had been away, now resembling Seijoh in terms of structure and design, but marginally smaller and less inconspicuous to avoid drawing attention.

Come to think of it, Kuroo had mentioned that Seijoh helped in building the current Nekoma building. Y/N had to restrain herself from running to Oikawa Tooru and screaming “traitor” in his face.

She sighed.  _ Guess you can't really trust anyone nowadays. _

A knock came on the door, causing her to grip the curtains tightly. She scoffed as the door opened, revealing Kuroo, who was looking around her room in interest.

“Sorry, I just let myself in,” he said.

“Doesn't matter,” Y/N remarked dryly. “You'll let yourself in whether you like it or not.”

“Aw, don't be so uptight, kitten.” Kuroo plopped down on her bed. “How’s the room going? Are you comfortable here?”

“Yeah.”

“You know, you only have to ask if you need anything else.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“And by that, I mean furniture or anything else,” Kuroo said, smirking. “I knew it. You've got spunk.”

Y/N sighed, and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. “What do you want, Kuroo?”

His smile was as blinding as ever. “I came to see you. Nothing more.”

“If you've come to taunt me, you can just leave.”

“Oh, come on. We’ve been through this,” Kuroo complained. “You act like I’ve locked you up in a dungeon and bound your hands and feet in iron chains. Aren’t I treating you better than Daichi and the others in your old house in Miyagi?”

She gave no answer, and turned away from him.

“You're better off here, Y/N. Trust me,” he continued. “Need I remind you that they just left you lying there on that rooftop? I was prepared to raid your headquarters to get you back, but apparently, there was no need. What if you had actually died?”

“There’s probably a reason behind that.”

Kuroo frowned. “You keep saying I make excuses just to make you stay. How are you any different?”

Y/N clenched her jaw, angry at the fact that once more, Kuroo was right.

A small  _ meow  _ was then heard, and they both looked at Y/N’s open door, where a medium-sized Persian cat came into the room, its tiny paws padding lightly across the floor.

Y/N inhaled sharply. “That’s…”

“Ah, you remember Anne?” Kuroo held his arms out for the cat, smiling as it gracefully leapt into his arms. “You named her after Queen Anne Boleyn, I believe. She’s grown a lot since then.”

Of course she remembered. The cat had been a birthday gift from Kuroo, and she had fallen in love with the sheer beauty and elegance the cat seemed to carry.

“I...didn't know you still kept her,” she said, crouching down. Anne watched her with steely silver eyes.

“She’s been my companion for the most part,” he replied. “Though I could deal without the fur. She keeps shedding, and she always insists on sleeping on your side of the bed.”

_ Your side of the bed.  _ The phrase sounded so foreign to her. Just how many beds had she shared with someone, she didn't want to know, and she honestly felt sickened by the thought.

Anne squirmed out of Kuroo’s arms, and padded over to Y/N. After a few dainty sniffs, she brushed her head against Y/N’s hand, causing the latter to smile as the cat sat in front of her.

“Seems like she still recognizes you,” Kuroo remarked. “She won't let anyone else touch her, though. I guess that’s why they call her a little...catty?”

Y/N stared at Kuroo, bewildered. When she opened her mouth to retort, she was shocked at how her lips seemed to turn up against her will as she forced herself to reply, “That’s...I…”

She pressed her lips together in an attempt to keep herself from smiling. “You shouldn't...joke about…”

Kuroo blinked, then finally grinned at the sight of Y/N trying not to laugh. He looked away, as she placed a hand over her mouth.

She cleared her throat, and recomposed herself. “I...thanks. I guess.”

Kuroo watched in dismay as she stood up and walked towards her dresser. He noticed the way she gripped her previously injured arm, grunting as she stretched it out.

“Does that still bother you?”

“Huh?” Y/N glanced over her shoulder. “Oh, this? It’s fine.”

“Doesn't look like it.” Kuroo stood up, fishing around in his pockets. He came up behind her, holding up a white plastic container. “Maybe this will help.”

“What is that?” Y/N asked, as he twisted the cap open to reveal a greyish-looking paste.

“Another little experiment of mine,” Kuroo said, sounding smug as he swiped his fingers across the paste. “I figured that if idiots like Lev are out on the field more than they're supposed to, injuries can heal a lot faster with this.”

“But mine’s not an open wound,” she replied. “It’s probably just a pulled muscle, or…”

“Trust me. It works.” Kuroo tapped her shoulder, motioning for her to let him see the area.

She raised an eyebrow, and he smirked. “Come on, kitten. Scientific purposes, remember?”

She shot him a suspicious look as she moved to pull her sleeve down, exposing the back of her shoulder to him. He ran his covered fingers down her exposed skin, spreading it gently.

At first, there was nothing but the surprising chill that came with the applied paste and the feeling of Kuroo rubbing it into her skin.

But then, the scent hit her.

It didn't particularly smell good, but it was strangely  _ addicting. _ Y/N had heard stories of people finding weird smells satisfying, such as gasoline or sulfur. And now, she understood why; every time she inhaled the scent of the paste, she found herself wanting more.

With every inhale, she felt her brain going fuzzy, and a sudden euphoric feeling filled her entire body. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and a satisfied sigh left her lips.

“Feel better?” she could hear Kuroo distinctly say, not bothering to hide the smirk in his voice.

“Did you drug me?” she asked breathlessly, her head lolling back to lean on Kuroo’s shoulder. “That’s…"

“But you seem to be enjoying it.” Kuroo’s hot breath fanned against her neck and ran down the paste on her shoulder; she shuddered at the delightful battle of temperatures.

She felt him press the container into her palm. “That’s yours now,” he said. “But be warned: take doses in moderation. Too much, and it’s going to be extremely difficult for your body to flush it out of your system.”

“Should have known there was a catch,” Y/N mumbled. “There’s always one...with you.”

Kuroo grinned, before leaving a small peck on the juncture between her shoulder and neck. “I'll have painkillers sent up to you,” he said. “Until then, take your time to heal. Let me know if you need anything.”

He pressed his lips against her ear. “You can be greedy. Be as greedy as you want with me. I'll give you  _ everything. _ "

He then promptly left the room, leaving a breathless and slightly flustered Y/N.

 

* * *

 

Kozume Kenma wasn’t always known for being talkative.

Nekoma’s prodigy hacker sat at the dining table, occasionally sipping from a glass of water that only Hinata had the guts to offer. The rest of Karasuno’s members were situated all over the room, shooting Kenma suspicious gazes.

They had more than enough reasons to be wary of Kenma; he not only took part in deceiving Karasuno, but he might have hacked through their systems and gotten the information Nekoma needed to pull everything off.

“Well?” Daichi asked, rather coldly. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Kenma set his glass down. “I've run away from Nekoma.”

Sugawara frowned. “Why?”

“And why would you think that here is the best place to go?” Daichi added.

“I don't like where Kuroo is going with his plans,” Kenma replied. “It’s not like him to be this...aggressive about something. Plus, it’s too risky. It’s going to cost a lot of lives, and he doesn't look like he cares about what happens after he’s pulled it off.”

He fidgeted with his glass. “I came here because you're the ones Kuroo’s after. He knows that you're not going to allow him to do what he wants, because it sure as hell is going to disturb the peace and the citizens. I came because you’re going to need my help.”

“We don’t need help,” Tsukishima stated, from his place next to Yamaguchi. Of all the people in thw room, he looked like he was the most hostile towards Kenma, and if Yamaguchi hadn't been standing next to him, he would have jumped at Kenma as soon as he entered the room.

“Glasses is right,” Nishinoya said. “You’re really playing with fire here. We’ve been deceived by Nekoma once. Who’s to say that you're not going to do it again?”

“Yeah, we can take you down right this instant,” Ennoshita threatened. “We’ll foil your plan before you can even begin.”

Surprisingly, Kenma didn't look fazed. “That’s your decision,” he said. “Kill me or keep me, I don't care. I’ve nowhere to go now, anyway. I risked my life getting away from Kuroo and making sure I’m untraceable, and the information that I know could either help him succeed or turn the tables on him. I wanted to help you. Kuroo’s not the same person I met years ago. Something's changed...no, something’s broken in him.”

“Kenma…” Hinata said. “...Kuroo’s your childhood friend. How could you turn on him now, of all times?”

“I told you, Shouyou,” Kenma replied. “That’s not the Kuroo I know. He’s become twisted, driven mad with the desire for power, and he’s extremely manipulative. Look at what he’d done to Y/N.”

“Don't,” Kageyama snarled, speaking up for the first time, plunging the room’s atmosphere into a cold, dark abyss of pressure and tension. “Don’t you  _ dare  _ say her name. I should have figured long ago that Kuroo had killed her, I should have—”

“Killed her?” Kenma frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Don't play dumb,” Kageyama snapped. “He shot her, didn't he? Used Shiratorizawa to lure her to Tokyo, and killed her in cold blood to spite us.”

“What are you talking about? He didn't kill her.”

“That’s it, he’s going,” Tsukishima snapped, and began marching towards Kenma, stopping only at Daichi’s raised hand and Yamaguchi’s frantic tugging.

Kageyama glared at Kenma with the fiercest look he could muster. “Y/N’s dead because of you,” he said. “She’s gone because Kuroo shot her.”

Kenma shook his head. “He didn't kill her,” he said. “Because she’s not dead. Y/N’s alive, and Kuroo’s holding her hostage in Nekoma. Still think you should kill me?”


	5. dreams

Kenma opened his laptop, and switched it on.

“Before anything else, I’d just like to know,” he said. “You guys are familiar with the  _ shogunate _ , right?”

Some, like Tsukishima, Daichi, and Sugawara nodded. Others, like Hinata, Kageyama, and Nishinoya tilted their heads in confusion.

Kenma sighed. “Well, for the sake of introductions, I’ll explain. The  _ shogunate  _ was a military type of government in Japan that started with the  _ Kamakura shogunate  _ in 1185. Originally, Japan was ruled by emperors and their regents, but in 1192, a guy named Minamoto no Yoritomo along with his clan set up a military government in  _ Kamakura  _ after he seized power from the aristocrats.”

“Wasn't the emperor still in charge of things?” Sugawara asked.

Kenma shrugged. “In name, I suppose. If you take a look at their early hierarchal system, he’s there at the top. But the  _ shogun,  _ the leader of the  _ shogunate,  _ was really the one in control. The  _ shogunate  _ were, essentially, an organized group of  _ samurais _ .”

“Ah.” Daichi tapped a finger against his chin. “I see what Akaashi meant about Kuroo “repeating history”. He’s going to take control of the monarchy, isn't he?”

Kenma nodded, before turning to his laptop. “Kuroo’s developed some kind of superiority complex over the years, as Nekoma grew in power. He’s always yearning for things beyond his reach, and he’s manipulative enough to make other people do his bidding. For reasons beyond my comprehension, he brought up the idea of taking over the government, claiming that it was “a step closer to letting the world know of our existence”.”

“ “Our existence”?” Asahi repeated. “Does he mean...what, mafias?  _ Yakuza  _ groups?”

“Exactly,” Kenma said. “He believes that when a mafia member takes over the highest political power, he’ll be saving groups like yours and mine from discrimination, and we’ll be free to do as we please without facing charges or resistance from the government.”

“But that’s insane,” Ennoshita said. “Kuroo’s just using that as an excuse to gain more power. It’s like you just said, Kenma-san. No one’s going to accept him as a ruler. There’ll be protests and chaos everywhere.”

“That’s my point,” Kenma replied. “He’s greedy, and lusts after power, so he couldn't care less about riots in the streets. My only fear is that there is a very, very high chance that he’ll succeed. Mainly because he’s gotten Y/N back.”

“Okay, wait,” Yamaguchi said. “We still can't wrap our heads around that thought. Y/N can't be alive. Kageyama saw her get shot.”

Kageyama shuffled awkwardly in his spot, uncomfortable with the way his name was brought up in the conversation.

“Shot?” Kenma scoffed, before rummaging around in his bag. “What, with this?”

He held up a small Ziploc bag, containing a small, silver bullet.

“Oh!” Nishinoya said. “That’s…”

“...the bullets we saw in Seijoh’s lab…” Asahi finished. “Of course, that would explain it…”

Hinata glanced at Kageyama, who was staring at the bag like it held the answers to all of life’s questions. For the first time in what seemed like weeks, an expression of hope was dawning on his face, all from the thought that Y/N was still very much alive.

“Is she safe?” Tsukishima asked. He, too, looked hopeful and optimistic, and looked like he was already itching to look for her. When Kageyama saw his state, his expression was slightly downcast.

“I can’t say for sure,” Kenma said. “She’s alive, at least. But believe me when I tell you that Kuroo is going to do anything—and I mean,  _ anything _ —to keep her from leaving Nekoma again. From what I heard, he’s planning to send Akihiro to China if Y/N makes a wrong move.”

“Y/N would never allow that to happen,” Ennoshita said.

“She’s essentially trapped, isn't she?” Yamaguchi added. “She’ll do anything to keep Akihiro safe...so she’ll be forced to do Kuroo’s bidding.”

“That and more,” Kenma replied. “You see, Y/N gets attached to people very easily. And Kuroo’s more than willing to pull a few strings and manipulate a lot of people to make sure she stays connected to him. It’s only a matter of time before he makes her realize that she wants to be with him.”

"Stockholm syndrome,” Kiyoko muttered, tapping her chin with her finger. “That’s not love. He’s trying to control her, too.”

“He’s obsessed with her,” Daichi added. “And I suggest we rescue Y/N before she becomes obsessed with him, too.”

“I agree,” Tanaka said.

“Wait a minute,” Kenma piped up. “It’s not going to be easy. Kuroo had me fortify all defenses in the Nekoma facility so it’s practically impossible to get in. Hell, it’s not even on the map.”

Sugawara turned to Daichi. “You met up with Kuroo before,” he said. “You must have some idea—”

Daichi shook his head. “We always met up in shops around the city, or in someone’s house. I’ve never actually seen Nekoma’s headquarters.”

Kenma began typing on his laptop. “Before I left, I downgraded the security there, enough to let anyone who’s sneaky enough in, but not enough for me to be tracked down or noticed. I can give you the location of our headquarters, and I can help navigate you through it, but I can't hack into the cameras there. I'll be leading you blindfolded.”

“We’ll take any chance we have,” Kageyama said. “Aren't we, Daichi-san?”

“Yeah,” Daichi agreed. “We’ve been away from Y/N long enough. This house won't ever feel like a home without her.”

He turned to Tsukishima. “You'll be leading this mission.”

Hinata’s jaw dropped, as did everyone else, as they turned to the evidently surprised blonde. “M-me?” he stuttered.

Daichi smiled. “It’s only fitting. That’s your girl, after all. If there’s anyone here that deserves to have her, it’s you.”

Pride swelled within Tsukishima’s chest, and he straightened. “Please leave it to me,” he said, bowing to Daichi to hide the grin that was spreading across his face.

He was already formulating a plan in his head and fidgeting in his seat all while Kenma was talking, barely listening as he did so. All his thoughts were concentrated on Y/N; how much he missed her, how much he loved her, and how thankful he was to hear that she was still alive.

Somewhere, out there in Tokyo, Y/N was being held captive, subject to Kuroo’s whims and insane ideologies. Tsukishima deduced that she, having gone through enough pain and suffering, would break pretty easily if Kuroo said the right words, or did the right things. And it was his job, now more than ever, to keep her from crossing over to the wrong side.

_ I don't care what I’ll have to do,  _ he thought.  _ I’ll find you, bring you back home, and I’ll marry you and we’ll run away. Far from this fucked-up world. We’ve suffered enough already. _

He glanced at Kageyama, and the sight of the sniper reawakened his resolve to fight for Y/N’s love. Tsukishima had been a mess upon hearing the news of her death, and gave up hope as well. He’d gone as far as nearly conceding to Kageyama, acknowledging that he had lost her to the King, as he believed that there was nothing left for them both. But knowing that she was still alive, Tsukishima took everything back, and he wanted nothing more than to be selfish with her once more.

When he looked at Kageyama, he expected to see an expression mirroring his own: eager and determined to rescue Y/N. But he wasn't prepared to see what looked like a face of pain and envy, directed right at him, before Kageyama turned away.

 

* * *

 

_ He was in Tokyo, this time. _

_ In fact, he was standing on the balcony of Alisa’s apartment, the very same balcony where he had revealed to Akihiro who his true parents were. The city was unusually quiet, with no passing cars or pedestrians making their way down the road below. But then again, it was night time, and the setting was as peaceful as the moon shining brightly in the sky. _

_ “Do you ever get lonely?” _

_ Kageyama inhaled sharply. A pair of arms snaked around his waist, and he felt someone press their front against his back. The gesture meant to be affectionate, but he felt as if he was being locked in a fierce grip. _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ She stepped away, only to occupy the spot next to him on the balcony. Y/N’s terrifyingly beautiful features resembled that of an ancient Greek goddess in the light of the moon, once again giving Kageyama the impression that she wasn’t the Y/N he knew, and that she was definitely not normal. _

_ She propped her elbow up on the railing, and let her chin rest on her palm, tucking her hair over her ear. “Loneliness,” she mused. “It’s the deadliest plague known to mankind. We, as humans, are fundamentally developed to interact with others, interact with things, and so on and so forth. Without such, we would be completely isolated from one another, with nothing but our thoughts to keep us company. And there’s nothing more frightening than talking to ourselves and getting lost in our own head. _

_ “If you get lonely, you might as well be dying. It’s nearly impossible to shoulder the weight of reality all by yourself. Once you get lonely, you realize how small you are compared to your environment, and by extension, the world. You realize that no matter how numerous we are, we are but insignificant individuals on a spinning rock that is, in turn, revolving around a star that is marginally smaller than certain others. You realize that our lives are as easily as disposable as the next empty soda can, and with or without you, everything goes on as it should, without any indication that you even existed in the first place. You realize that you are nothing but a mere speck and an insignificant factor in the greater scheme of things.” _

_ Y/N smiled, almost devilishly, as she stared at Kageyama. “No one can digest all of that on their own. That’s why we keep ourselves occupied with mindless, trivial things, and surround ourselves with loud and annoying people, to distract us from the crushing weight of reality. Because it’s the only problem that can only be solved by running away from it.” _

_ Kageyama frowned. “What are you getting at?” _

_ Y/N slid closer to him. “You're doing the exact same thing,” she whispered. “Lying and turning a blind eye on the reality that’s standing in front of you, unable to face the truth that you have willingly and consciously created.” _

_ He looked down at her. “And that is…?” _

_ She slipped in between his arms, and he couldn't find it in him to pull away as her hands traveled upwards to cup his face. “You're so much more than this,” she said. “You're a bloodthirsty, lethal killing machine that can slaughter an entire mafia if you put your mind to it.” _

_ As soon as he started shaking his head, she continued. “You know you have the power to do that, and more,” she added. “You could kill Kuroo so easily. You could rescue me. You could stop Nekoma from seizing control of the country.” _

_ “I…” he frowned. “It…” _

_ “Or perhaps you could run it?” she purred, leaning in closer to bury her face in the crook of his neck. He closed his eyes, exhaling as he felt her kisses up and down his skin. “You could keep the others from getting me. I’d be yours forever.” _

_ “Are you saying I should kill Kuroo, and Glasses?” he asked, his voice straining from the effort not to give in. _

_ “I’m saying that you can. If you give in to me.” _

_ He clenched his jaw, wanting nothing more than to say yes. He’d never felt so jealous and guilty to see Daichi willingly give up control of the mission to retrieve Y/N to Tsukishima, and he was surprised to feel boiling hot anger at the sight of the blonde’s genuinely happy expression. _

_ Kageyama didn't know where those thoughts came from, but he was certain about one thing: he wanted Y/N. He wanted her all to himself. _

_ “Just let go,” Y/N coaxed him. “I'll give you power that you didn't know you had. Then I’ll be yours. That’s what you want, right?” _

_ “More than anything else,” he admitted, and he felt her giggle as his hands came up to grip her waist. _

_ It felt so wrong, yet so right, when he lifted her chin up and slid his lips over hers, exchanging heated kisses and sloppy bites all over. He was dying to touch her, and not being able to do so in the weeks that they were apart were practically torture. So he had to take what he could get, even if it was only just a dream. _

_ “What about you?” he asked, as soon as they pulled away and watching as Y/N sank to her knees in front of him. _

_ “What is it?” she asked, as she began to pull his pants down. His breath hitched in anticipation. _

_ “Do you ever get lonely?” _

_ She paused, staring at his jeans that were now down at his feet. “I feel what you feel,” she finally answered. “I am a part of you, after all. So yes, I do get lonely.” _

_ Kageyama almost smiled at that. “At least I’m not alone, in that sense. _ _ ” _

_ He closed his eyes once more as he felt her take him into her mouth, relishing in the euphoria and bliss that only came to him in his dreams, reminding him once more that they would always be better than this shitty reality. _


	6. tempest

Y/N was sweating.

She lay on her bed, drenched and soaking in her normally comfortable outfit. It didn't help that she was constantly shaking from head to toe, making it difficult for her to take deep breaths.

She knew what it was. She knew  _ exactly  _ what was happening, having spent a lot of years doing what teenage girls shouldn't be doing.

Part of her wanted to blame Kuroo. The ointment he'd developed worked wonders—her shoulder hadn't bothered her in weeks—but still, it was pretty heavy stuff. But in truth, she should have been blaming herself for having such a weak will and a steadily decreasing tolerance of pain.

She had clearly heard Kuroo warn her not to take too much. But she had gone and done the exact opposite, again.

The painkillers helped. They calmed her down, and made her numb for a few hours, long enough for her to take a decent nap. But whenever she woke up, she was once again a panting, sweaty, dizzy mess. It was like being pregnant, minus the baby.

_ Not funny,  _ her subconscious scolded her.

Y/N got up from the bed, blinking rapidly to rid her vision from the stars that came out of nowhere, and made her way to the dresser.

She looked in the mirror, and saw nothing but someone who was broken.

Ever since she was discharged from the infirmary, she had refused to eat a single meal, save for some snacks that Yaku or Kai brought her. She found solace in combat and training, literally working herself to the bone and showing no mercy to her trainees, burning calories that she didn't have. She spent her nights crying, or lay awake until the early hours of the morning, consumed by her thoughts and the things she could have had if things were different.

Her eyes, which were noted to be sharp and intimidating, now looked like dull orbs in sunken sockets; the dark circles under them courtesy of her new friend, insomnia. Her cheekbones were prominent, as were her jawline and collarbones. Her skin was littered with ugly, purple blotches as well as yellow fading ones, a clear sign that she had completely abandoned all intentions of keeping herself safe and healthy.

Of course, her outward appearance was nothing compared to what she felt inside.

Y/N hadn't really stopped to realize just how much she had lost in such a little amount of time. She had lost her fiance, her children, the people she had considered her family—and now, she was going to lose her only living son if she made a wrong move. She’d never stopped to think about all of them at once, knowing that once she’d fallen into that abyss, she would no longer be coming out.

Still, it was strange to have experienced so much heartache and losses, yet, still not feel the crushing weight of them all. If anything, Y/N attributed it to the one method she’d used ever since the beginning: running away from her problems.

She ran away from the responsibility of becoming Inagawa-kai’s new leader, knowing that she couldn't bear the idea of sending people on highly classified and dangerous missions, and never seeing them return. She ran away from that persona of hers, going as far as registering her name as whatever name she could think of whenever she enrolled in a new school. She ran away when her parents began tracking her down, moving from city to city, erasing any traces of her existence before starting from scratch. She ran away from Kuroo, because she didn't want to live with the idea that she had cheated on him. She ran away from Tsukishima, because deep down, she loved Kageyama. She ran away from Kageyama, because she had to keep him safe from herself.

She ran, she ran, and she ran.

And this time, she was backed into a corner with no escape.

Y/N pulled the drawer open, before rummaging around and retrieving the container that Kuroo had given her. She needed her fix, despite her arm feeling perfectly fine.

But the container was empty. She clicked her tongue in disappointment.

A knock came on her door. “Yeah?”

“Y/N-san, they've started training downstairs.”

“Can't Yamamoto take over class for once?”

“He is, but there are too many trainees for him to handle.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. A typical class consisted of members a little over a dozen in number, so why would Yamamoto have a hard time with them?

“Fine,” she grumbled. “I'll be there in a while.”

 

* * *

 

“I didn't even expect there would be this many,” Kai admitted.

“Tell me about it,” Lev muttered. “Frankly, I’m a little too scared to ask where Nekomata-sensei got them from.”

Yamamoto, Nekoma’s strongest fighter, stood in front of a hastily-assembled group of new members, some looking like they weren't even Japanese.

“Well?” an approaching Kuroo asked, as he motioned to the crowd. “I don't have the final numbers yet, but we might have another hundred by the end of next week.”

“Really?” Yamamoto said, feigning interest. “You think that’ll be enough?”

Kuroo rolled his eyes and elbowed him. His eyes scanned over the group of members, finally landing on a figure approaching from the south of the room. His smirk widened.

“Looking good,” he called to Y/N, who seemed to be surveying every member from head to toe. She was wearing her old Nekoma suit: a leather black jumpsuit decorated with red accents and boots, something she always wore during her Black Cat days.

“Where’s the party?” she remarked dryly, making her way to the front. The new members were intrigued by her, to say the least, watching her back as she swiftly passed them, their eyes occasionally traveling downwards.

“Kitten, meet our new recruits,” Kuroo said, motioning to the group. “Nekomata-sensei went all over the world to gain members for our cause. I hope you won't have too much trouble with them.”

Y/N sighed, taking her spot next to Yamamoto. The latter made room for her, offering her a reassuring squeeze around the waist as he did so, causing her to smile a little. She and Yamamoto had been very close during the early days of Nekoma, bashing each other’s heads in and getting drunk off their asses at every opportunity. Now, she felt as if he completely understood her current situation, despite not being able to explain it to everyone.

“She is...the Black Cat of Nekoma?” a member suddenly piped up.

Her head snapped towards him, fixing him with a stare that was intended to make him wish he hadn't spoken up. Instead, her gaze was met by an expression of indifference, plastered on the face of a foreign-looking young man with jet black hair.

“Yes, she is,” Kuroo said, unmistakable pride in his voice. “Everyone, meet Y/N. She’ll be training you along with Yamamoto here.”

“We’re getting trained by a  _ girl _ ?” the same member scoffed.

“Oi,” Yamamoto growled.

Kuroo, who was equal parts amused and irritated, tried for a grin. “I wouldn't underestimate her, if I were you. Many have tried, and many have failed. She’s brought many grown men like you and I to their knees.”

“But I wouldn't mind her getting on  _ her  _ knees, if you know what I mean,” another member mumbled, causing a small outbreak of laughter in the group.

And Y/N decided she’s had enough.

“You,” she said, mustering all of her authority in her tone. “Greasy Q-Tip. Come here.”

Yamamoto and Kuroo snorted, hiding their laughter behind their hands as the member who had muttered began to blush. Nevertheless, he stepped forward, trying to look brave.

“And you,” she continued, beckoning the first speaker forward. “Names.”

They saluted her. “U-ueno Takeshi,” Greasy Q-Tip stuttered.

“Jean Moreau,” the first member said, with an air of confidence.

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “You're French.”

“Half and half,” Jean replied, looking smug. “My mother’s Japanese. Been in Paris my whole life, though. My Japanese isn't that rusty, but French has been my first—”

“ _ Comment allez-vous, monsieur? _ ” Y/N said. “ _ Bienvenue chez Nekoma. _ ”

Jean’s eyebrows shot up, as did quite a number of people in the room.

“You speak French?” he asked, stunned.

Y/N turned away. She didn't want to say that she had taken up French lessons because Tsukishima’s relatives were in France. She decided that it would hurt a lot more to say it compared to just thinking about it.

“I can do that and more,” she said. “Now, give me your best shot.”

“W-what?”

“You heard me,” Y/N said, spreading her hands out in front of her. “Do your worst,  _ monsieur. _ ”

Jean shifted uncomfortably, before getting into his fighting stance.

“Shouldn't you stop them?” Yamamoto murmured.

Kuroo folded his arms, grinning. “Nah, she can handle it.”

Jean scanned Y/N up and down, looking for any weak points. With the way she stood, so poised and relaxed, he had about a hundred spots to target, and she would be down in a second. She had her guard down, looking as if she was genuinely asking to get hurt.

He decided on sweeping her off her feet first, dropping into a low crouch and kicking his feet out in a circle, aiming for her ankles. She dodged easily. As he lunged, he thrust his fist upwards into her gut, only to find his hand swatted away and pinned behind his back swiftly.

“Shit,” he growled, before using his other elbow to jab at her face.

Y/N ducked, before slamming her knee into his back, sending him tumbling in front of her.

He got up quickly, and reached for her, only to see her dance away from his grasp. When he turned, she was standing behind him, looking like she had been there for a while. Her guard was still down.

Jean launched forward with a yell, performing a jab-straight-elbow combination, all of which she caught. He attempted to strike her face, only to have her catch his fist once more, drag him to a spot slightly behind her, and swinging her leg upwards to slam down on his head. He sat down,  _ hard _ , feeling slightly dizzy and nauseous from the impact of her attack.

But still, he got up, and saw for a split second the kick that was aiming for his side. He grunted as he caught her right leg, grinning in victory at the sight of her mildly surprised face.

“I knew you were only famous because of Kuroo Tetsurou,” Jean remarked, holding onto her leg firmly. “You don't even have the skills to—”

But he was cut off, as he flew to the side, tumbling across the floor with horrifyingly loud screeches.

The others were left with jaws on the ground, unable to believe what they had just seen. Y/N had completely twisted her body around, placing a single hand on the floor as she swung her left leg 360 degrees around to slam into the side of Jean’s face, with a force that looked almost comical.

“W-what the hell was that?” Yamamoto said in amazement. “That was just an ordinary kick, but…”

He pointed to the unconscious heap on the floor that was Jean. “How...did she do that?”

Y/N straightened, brushing her suit off. “I wasn't under the impression that I needed a man to validate my existence,” she said. “Because if that were true, I’d feel bad for any girl who chooses you.”

She turned to the new group of recruits. “The first thing you all need to learn is some respect,” she said, her voice booming across the room. “If anyone here crosses the lines we draw for you, you'll get a worse treatment than  _ Monsieur Grosse bouche _ over there. If you were brought here by Nekomata-sensei, then he must have had a good reason for doing so. So, I’m assuming you’ll survive your training here.”

Y/N unsheathed her gun, loading it and causing a nervous Takeshi to gulp. “If you’re really cut out for this, you'll stay. Otherwise, you're free to leave. Because if you aren’t, and you make one wrong move…”

She kept her eyes on them as she moved her gun, pointing it at Jean; before anyone could protest, the trigger was pulled, and the sound of the bullet hitting its target silenced the entire room.

“...I’ll deal with you myself,” she finished. “Clear?”

_ Y/N, _ a shocked Yamamoto thought, as he stared at her.  _ What happened to you? _

Kuroo had an unhinged expression on his face as the group of recruits saluted her, standing straighter as they did so.

_ Welcome back,  _ he thought.  _ Black Cat of Nekoma. _

 

* * *

 

“You wanted to see me?” Y/N said, closing the door behind her.

Kuroo looked up from his phone to see Y/N come into the room, Anne sitting at her feet and swaying her tail from side to side contentedly. Ever since Y/N had returned, the cat refused to stray away from her, and was always found either in Y/N’s room or within ten meters of her.

“Yeah,” Kuroo replied, putting his phone down and leaning back in his seat. “What was all that in the training center?”

“He pissed me off. Simple as that.”

“And did you have to kill him for that?”

“I don't…” she shook her head. “It’s just...I...didn't know what I was thinking. I was just so...angry, you know. He was such an airhead.”

Kuroo nodded. “I get that, but if you're going to kill somebody, maybe do it a little discreetly, or less bloody. Yaku would not shut the hell up about the mess earlier.”

He watched Y/N, who seemed to be determinedly avoiding his gaze. There was a part of him that knew that Y/N was slipping back into her old persona, perhaps because of the environment and the people that surrounded her. She was holding herself back, until now, knowing that her full potential could hurt a lot more than just one whiny, wannabe recruit.

_ Just a little longer,  _ he thought.  _ If I just play my cards right… _

“Kuroo?”

His head snapped up, and he couldn't deny the way his heart skipped a little at the sound of his name leaving her lips. It was the first time she had addressed him in weeks, and it took him by surprise.

“Yeah?”

Y/N fidgeted in place, before taking a breath and saying, “I want to see Aki.”

Kuroo tilted his head. “Why?”

“Because he deserves an explanation,” she said. “It’s time I told him everything. I’m rearranging the entire world behind his back, making sure he gets the future he deserves, but I can't keep him away from the truth any longer. He needs to know.”

“Know about what?” Kuroo stood, walking around his table to stand in front of her, sending Anne scurrying away into the nearest chair as he did so. “I thought you said you didn't want to get him into this.”

“Yes, but I can't make Aki run away from the reality he’s living in,” she said, her tone bordering on pleading. “I can't let him live the way I did.”

Kuroo thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of the situation. If he let Y/N see Akihiro, she might be slightly less depressed about remaining in Nekoma, and Aki would have, at least,  _ some  _ idea as to who his parents were and what kind of life he was to live in the future.

_ But if she goes to see him, she might find a way to contact Karasuno,  _ he thought.  _ Akihiro knows where to go when he needs to find them...and Y/N might give Alisa some instructions regarding her escape and how to sabotage the plan. Hmm… _

“No.”

He could swear that he saw her heart drop along with her expression. “What?”

“I said, no,” he repeated. “Sorry, kitten. But honestly? I’m not confident enough to think that you won't bail on me as soon as you're out of the facility. And I can’t have you leaving me until the plan succeeds.”

He was reaching for her hand, but Y/N snatched it out of his grasp, a heartbroken look on her face. “Are you serious?” she gasped. “Are you really fucking serious about all this? How cruel do you have to be to deny me my own right to see my son?”

“We’re not done yet, Y/N,” Kuroo said, turning away from her and heading back to his desk. “You still have to train my recruits. We still have to take the Imperial Palace. That was the deal, right?”

“What deal?” Y/N shouted. “You forced this on me, and you made it so I couldn't refuse, or else you'll send Aki away!”

“ “Forced it” on you?!” Kuroo scoffed. “You didn't look like you were forced to do it earlier. You killed that recruit all by yourself, didn't you? Even seemed like you were enjoying it. I had nothing to do with that. You did that to yourself.”

“What choice did I have?” she snapped. “Let them ridicule me? Call me lewd names and make snide comments?”

“Why? D’you think your pride wouldn't be able to handle it?” Kuroo whirled around to face her, triumphant at the sight of her hesitating.

“You—” she stuttered, opting to take out her anger by grabbing the nearest object—a book—and throwing it at him.

Kuroo dodged. “Stop that.”

“Let,” she threw another one. “Me,” she chucked a particularly heavy encyclopedia at him. “Go!”

He ducked as she threw a tattered old copy of  _ The Art of War  _ over his head, the force behind he action enough to shatter the window where it had slammed into.

Anne hissed in surprise.

Y/N’s fury was momentarily interrupted by the sound of the glass breaking. She looked down at her hands in confusion.  _ That wasn't even heavy,  _ she thought.  _ So, how… _

Kuroo groaned as he straightened, and looked at his now broken window. “Thanks a lot,” he snapped. “Really brings back old memories, does it? Throwing shit around, screaming at the top of our lungs...do you miss it  _ that m _ uch?”

Y/N was breathing heavily, and pushed the strands of hair that had fallen over her face. There had been so much anger in her lately, so much sorrow, and so much hurt, that had been building up for days. She was aware that she had lost control earlier, but she was more concerned about the fact that she had murdered a recruit who, if you think about it, only had a big head and a mouth to match. And she had felt nothing when she killed him.

_ Have I…really returned to my old self…? _

“Well?” Kuroo’s voice snapped her back into reality. “Come to throw more books at me? Because that’s not going to change anything. You are not leaving this facility. You are not going to see Karasuno, or Akihiro, unless I say so. I am never going to let you go.”

Chills ran down her spine as he emphasized, “ _ Ever _ .”

Then, as if nothing had ever happened, he reachdd into one of his drawers and pulled out a circular container, tossing it to her.

“You’re all out, right?” he said, as Y/N opened the container gingerly. “I figured. How’s the arm?”

She remained silent.

“Well. I’ll have the doctor keep prescribing you painkillers,” he said, sitting back down in his seat. “Feel free to let me know if you still need some more.”

“I hate you,” she whispered, in a choked, pathetic tone, tears clouding her vision.

“Oh, I love you too, kitten,” Kuroo said smoothly. “Trust me. We’re going to have a lot of fun together.”

Y/N wiped her eyes angrily, before whirling around and storming out of the room, Anne meowing as she frantically moved to keep up with her.

 

* * *

 

“ _ Eh? Is that so? _ ”

“Yeah,” Kageyama replied, as he packed a few extra bullets in his bags. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning so, we might be there by noon.”

“ _ I hope I haven't called at a bad time, then, _ ” Alisa said, on the other end of the phone. “ _ You must be busy packing. _ ”

“No, no, I’m almost done,” he answered. “Well? What did you want to talk about?”

“ _ Um, Aki has an overnight excursion with his class. So, I was wondering if you could join me for lunch tomorrow? If you can squeeze me in with your busy schedule. _ ”

“Huh.” Kageyama paused, straightening up. “What’s the occasion?”

He could hear Alisa’s tinkling laugh on the other end. “ _ I just wanted to meet up, that’s all. I miss talking to you _ .”

Kageyama wanted to protest, considering the only times he’d ever talked to Alisa were short-lived conversations, most of which consisted of him giving short, awkward responses. And that wasn't counting the texts or the calls.

He could hear the others downstairs, most likely discussing the plans for the mission. Tsukishima’s voice stood out the most, as he had been reviewing everything from top to bottom, leaving no stone unturned. It was the most he’d ever talked in a meeting; but, considering that it technically was  _ his  _ fiancée they were trying to rescue, it was understandable.

Kageyama had let his thoughts wander dangerously throughout the course of the meeting. He could clearly see several flaws in the mission, and wanted to speak up—but he refrained from doing so upon seeing the determined look on Tsukishima’s face as he ran himself ragged trying to explain the plan.

He wondered if he could do it. He could take on the mission by himself. He could rescue Y/N with a higher success rate, as he was convinced that  _ his  _ way was better. The only problem was Tsukishima and Daichi, but that could be easily arranged, if he—

He stopped his train of thought right there, eyes widening.

“ _ Helloooo? _ ” Alisa called. “ _ Kageyama-kun? _ ”

“Oh,” he said, coming back to his senses and blinking. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“ _ I was asking if you could make it tomorrow. I have something to give you anyway, so I might as well tell you over ochazuke. _ ”

Now,  _ that  _ piqued his interest. He glanced once more at the door, suddenly fearful that someone would overhear their conversation.

If anyone knew that he would be meeting up with someone associated with Nekoma…

But he saw it as an opportunity. If anything, going to see Alisa would be a perfect cover-up to execute  _ his  _ plan. They wouldn't even doubt it.

_ Y/N, I'm coming for you,  _ he thought.

“Sure,” he answered. “Name the time and place.”


	7. photograph

“I’m surprised they actually let you out,” Alisa remarked, sliding into the couch in front of Kageyama. “How many did you have to kill to come see me?”

At the sight of Kageyama’s shocked expression, she laughed, as she opened her menu. “I’m kidding. It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah.” His voice sounded painfully awkward, and he tried to cover it up by looking at his menu.

Alisa had pulled her silver hair up into a ponytail, occasionally brushing the strands out of her face to expose her mismatched eyes. Kageyama found himself transfixed by them, wondering how on earth can two completely different hues manage to coexist in harmony and beauty.

“I'll have ramen, with a side of  _ gyoza _ ,” she suddenly said. “What about you?”

“...pork curry. With an egg on top.”

“Perfect,” Alisa said, raising her hand to beckon the waiter over.

As soon as they had given their orders, Alisa pulled out her backpack, zipping it open. “I found this while I was cleaning the apartment,” she said, pulling out a rather thin book and pushing it towards him. “I thought you might like to have it.”

Confused, Kageyama pulled it towards himself to examine it further. The tattered brown front of the book was plain, to say the least, and judging by the spine, it hadn't been opened very frequently.

He flipped it open, and his eyes widened upon seeing the picture pasted on the first page.

“It’s a photo album,” he said. “And...it’s hers...isn't it?”

Alisa smiled and nodded. “I showed it to Aki, too. You should have seen him, he was crying.”

Kageyama ran his fingers across the picture, which depicted a young Y/N, who looked about Akihiro’s age. She was sitting on the floor, with hands that he assumed belonged to her mother braiding her hair. She threw a blinding smile at the camera, and Kageyama thought that it was the happiest she’d ever looked.

He turned the page, showing a young teenage Y/N applying hand wraps, dressed in a white shirt and black leggings. She had cut her hair significantly shorter, but it was long enough to be pulled into a ponytail. She was looking away from the camera, but the smile was still there.

He guessed that those pictures were from her Inagawa-kai days, but he was yet to see what her parents looked like and how she spent her days there.

“This is so weird,” he murmured. “It’s like she hasn't aged at all.”

“Right?” Alisa said, stretching her cheeks with her hands. “I want to know her secret. I’d want to look exactly the same as now once I hit fifty.”

Kageyama suppressed a smile, as he turned the page. He noticed that she had a habit of forgetting to update the book regularly, as the next picture depicted her taking a selfie in front of her university. That, or she had purposefully refused to capture her life growing up.

The next picture made his chest tighten.

It was a collection of Polaroids this time, all displaying the same subjects: Kuroo and Y/N.

“Ah,” Alisa said, rather strained. “That’s…”

“No, it’s fine,” he lied. “I want to see it.”

He scanned his eyes over the photos, focusing on one that showed Y/N in Kuroo’s arms, splayed out on the comforter, pulling silly faces at the camera. Another was just Kuroo, sitting in front of Y/N in a cafe setting, his glasses falling down his nose as he focused on a book on the table. Then, there was Y/N, napping on top of her notebook with drool coming out of one side, and a hand that could only be Kuroo’s reaching out for her.

He felt as if he was trespassing into their memories; as if their story was one for their eyes only to see. It was clear through her dedication in filling not one, but two pages just of her and Kuroo together, that he had been extremely important to her, and he would always be.

Suddenly, he was struck by a thought that hadn't occurred to him at all. What if Y/N  _ didn't  _ want to be rescued? What if, somehow, she found that she actually wanted to stay with Kuroo? It didn't matter what Kuroo said or did to make her stay. It was impossible to assume that he no longer meant anything to her, after everything they’d been through.

He ran his fingers across a Polaroid that showed Y/N in a gorgeous purple dress, standing next to Kuroo in a suit. Judging by their outfits and the corsage on her wrist, he assumed that it was their prom. He remembered, with a bitter laugh, that the song at their prom was the same one they had danced to in her living room, all those months ago.

Clearly, some things never do change.

He turned the page, and on the left side, a lone picture was stuck to the paper.

“This is…”

Alisa craned her neck to see. “That’s Nekoma’s top officials,” she said. “This was taken about...two years before Y/N left for Karasuno, I think.”

She pointed to Y/N, dressed in a red-and-black jumpsuit, one arm around Yaku and the other around Kuroo. “I always thought she had gained a little weight in this photo. Turns out, she was showing a little.”

And indeed she was. The way she had angled herself made her stomach look larger than usual, and she looked like she was glowing.

He closed it, abruptly but gently. If he had any doubts about the mission, they had all just disappeared.

He wanted to be the reason behind her smile. He wanted to be the catalyst for her happiness. He wanted to fan her natural warmth, making her burn brighter so as to retain her glowing state.

“Could I keep it?” he asked quietly.

“Of course,” Alisa said.

He put the album away, swearing that he would one day fill them up with better memories.

“I've missed you,” Alisa said, as Kageyama turned to face her once more. “You don't go to Tokyo often now.”

“Sorry,” he replied. “Daichi-san doesn't like us going to wherever without a mission.”

Alisa sipped from a glass of water. “I bet Daichi-san doesn’t like me very much.”

“No,” he said, a little too quickly. “Well...he’s...not very welcoming to people associated with Nekoma right now. He feels betrayed by Kuroo.”

Alisa propped her chin up on her palms. “Yeah, I can't believe Kuroo did that, too. You have no idea how relieved I was when Lyovochka mentioned that Y/N was still alive, but it only made me wonder what Kuroo has in store for her.”

Kageyama frowned. “What, Lev didn't say anything?”

“He said that she just walked into their training center one day and began training them like nothing happened,” she replied. “Of course, they knew better than to protest. Even Lyovochka, who seems to have no filter when it comes to the words that come out of his mouth, didn't dare ask Y/N what had happened. All they knew was that she was back in Nekoma, and back for good.”

Alisa leaned forward a little, and dropped her voice to a whisper. “And I might be the only one who’s guessed this, but Kuroo’s going to try and make it sound like you guys were the reason why Y/N “decided” to return to Nekoma. They won't show you mercy.”

“How do you know we’re planning something?”

“Well, I put one and one together and came back with three, because you gave me an additional piece of information just now,” she said. “Kuroo betrays Karasuno. Then, you get the news that Y/N’s still alive. And just now, you said you don't go to other places unless there’s a mission. If I’m not mistaken, you're going to try and get Kuroo while also rescuing Y/N.”

Kageyama’s jaw had dropped, awed at the way Alisa had managed to figure out why Karasuno was in Tokyo. He stared at her triumphant grin as their orders arrived.

“...you're scary,” he managed.

“I’m the sister of a mafia member,” she said. “You learn to put things together when nobody gives you enough information.”

“Huh.” Kageyama looked down at his pork curry, feeling as if Alisa could figure out practically anything about him. He found it difficult to fathom that a unique way of thinking lay behind an innocent, angelic face—but then again, the world always managed to surprise him.

“Kageyama-kun,” she said. “I’m practically useless in battle, so I can't help you along those lines. But I’ll try my best to make sure you get what you need, and that applies to all of your friends in Karasuno. The apartment is open whenever you need it, and if money’s an issue, I can always find a way to solve it.”

Kageyama’s eyes widened. “But—what about Lev—and Nekoma—and, and—”

“I should have known long before that Lev was too ambitious to join Nekoma,” Alisa said, shaking her head. “I came here to keep an eye on him, and from the beginning, I never trusted Kuroo with my brother, given how his personality is. I managed to put up with him because Y/N asked, and Y/N is my dear friend. But everything’s different now. Kuroo’s planning something big, and I don't want Lev to be a part of it. And Y/N, too.”

She absentmindedly stirred her soup. “So, if it means getting them both back, I’ll put all my efforts into the people that have the same objectives as I do.”

She looked up at Kageyama, a pleading expression on her face. “Kageyama-kun, I beg you,” she said. “Please bring my brother back. Please bring Y/N back.”

He swallowed thickly. Here was a person directly connected to Nekoma, who wanted nothing but her best friend and her brother away from the chaos they had gotten themselves into. He was sure that both him and Alisa would be met with some resistance from Karasuno, but he was willing to take the challenge; if it meant Y/N’s safety.

“Of course,” he answered. “I'll do my best.”

When her hand slid into his, he couldn't find it in himself to pull away.

 

* * *

 

Y/N was crying.

Her entire body was shivering, covered in sweat, and racked with sobs. It wasn't just from her arm, nor any other part of her being—it was something inside her system, practically pulling her inside out.

It was a different kind of pain, one that she couldn’t seem to get used to no matter how hard she tried. It filled her veins and arteries with what felt like liquid fire, causing her heart to beat rapidly and her head to pound painfully.

She screamed as another wave of the fire within her hit, unable to control the pained cries that left her lips. She thrashed around on her bed, grasping the sheets and throwing the pillows. Anne was at the foot of her bed, meowing repeatedly at the sight of her suffering master.

Y/N rolled over and out of her bed, grunting as she hit the floor. But even that didn't compare to the pain that was seemingly endless, and for the first time, she had no idea why it was happening to her.

She screamed once more, clawing at the ground as her body seized up again. Her breaths were shallow, and she felt like she was being bathed in her own sweat.

“I can't take this!” she sobbed, pulling herself across the floor. “Help...somebody help…”

Y/N reached for the door, unable to go any further. “Tobio,” she whimpered. “Please…”

_ Tobio’s not going to help you now _ , a small voice whispered to her.  _ None of them are. They're far away, sitting comfortably in  _ **_your_ ** _ house, assuming that you're dead. _

“No, that’s a lie,” she moaned. “Please…”

_ They’ve abandoned you. You're all alone. And that’s how you're going to live the rest of your life...alone. _

Y/N pressed her hands to her ears, and squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop,” she begged weakly. “Please...no more…”

_ You're as good as dead _ , the same voice taunted her.  _ You’re the Black Cat of Nekoma. Everything you touch dies. Things that cross your path get cursed. Everybody who comes into your life… _

“No…”

_...will always leave. _

“No! No! Stop!” she screamed, feeling as if the fire inside her was about to combust everything in her system.

She could barely hear her door open, and she was momentarily blinded by the light that streamed in to hear the sound of footsteps making their way to her.

_ A savior… _ she thought, as strong arms pulled her up, saying things she couldn't hear.

Y/N threw her hands around a pair of shoulders, desperately hanging on to whoever had saved her as her knees buckled underneath her. Fortunately, those same arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her upright as she cried like a baby in their embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” she cried, burying her face into a warm chest. “Please...no more…”

She tightened her hold around them. “Please...don't leave me...I'll do...I'll do anything.”

The voice was clearer now, and she could recognize whose it was. But she couldn't care less; she held onto him for dear life.

“Calm down...it’s okay...I’m here.”

“Don't ever leave me.”

She felt his lips press into her hair, and for the first time, she found solace in the midst of all her suffering.

“I’m here. I won't leave you, kitten. I promise.”


	8. malevolence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you taking exams, good luck! Study well, and do your best. I'm rooting for you!
> 
> I've been listening to Harry Styles' new album, and I've selected three songs that I consider very fitting to several themes in the story: "Only Angel", "Kiwi", and "Woman". Can you guess why? Happy analyzing!

Nekoma’s HQ stood in a seemingly inconspicuous neighborhood, a few miles away from Shinjuku. But despite the description of its location, there was nothing subtle about one of Japan’s top mafia institutes.

In terms of structure, it resembled Seijoh’s building in Miyagi, although it was a little smaller and had walls enclosing it. Metal gates stood at the front, making the place look and feel more ominous.

“Whoa, look at those walls,” Asahi said in awe. “They’re really high...I’m willing to bet it’s going to take some huge giant or something to knock them down.”

“Huh?” Daichi raised an eyebrow.

Their earpieces crackled to life. “Looks like some kind of prison, eh?” came the usual tired voice of Kenma.

“There’s no doubt that Seijoh helped build it,” Akaashi added.

Sugawara adjusted his earpiece. “It’s so weird to hear you two working together,” he admitted. “I’m surprised Bokuto allowed Kenma inside Fukurodani’s HQ.”

“We’re all on the same side here,” Akaashi replied. “Bokuto-san agrees that Kuroo must be stopped.”

Tsukishima’s hands tightened on the wheel. “Still, even with the two of you behind us,you'll be blind the whole time…”

“I can pick up information through auditory means, so, don't worry, Tsukishima-kun,” Akaashi said. “Kenma-san can focus on directing you. I'll be in charge of collecting as much material as I can. We all need it.”

“We’ll take any help we can,” Daichi said. “Thank you, Kenma, Akaashi.”

“Sure thing,” Kenma said, his tone slightly softer now. “Okay, I’m willing to bet you're within a few meters’ radius of the front gates. Give me a quick status report, Glasses.”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima said, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Time: 11:23 PM. We’re heading to Nekoma Headquarters as of this moment. With me in the Volvo is the Boss, Mr. Refreshing, and Ace. Behind us, Goddess is driving the pick-up, along with the Guardian Deity, Ares, and Sleepy—”

“Fuck you, my codename is not “Sleepy”,” Ennoshita chimed in the earpiece angrily, causing Daichi, Sugawara, and Asahi to snort.

“Sorry, sorry,” Tsukishima said, unable to wipe the grin on his face as he could clearly hear Tanaka and Nishinoya on the other line roaring with laughter. “With  _ Anchor _ —there, happy?—and in the way back, Townperson B is driving the Everest, along with King, Shrimpy, and Hachiko.”

“You have really bad codenames,” Kenma said, sounding vaguely disturbed. “What were you on when you made them, drugs?”

“That, and a whole lot of alcohol and regrets,” Daichi answered, sighing. “Sounded cool at the time.”

“Well, whatever,” Kenma sighed. “Anyway, make your way around to the back gates. I’d downgraded the security system there, so all it needs is a password to enter. Usually, it takes someone from the inside to let you in, but I managed to switch it around.”

“Got it.” Tsukishima changed course, making their way around the facility.

“Kenma, shouldn’t there be guards and cameras that monitor the area?” Sugawara asked. “It feels way too easy to just punch in some numbers and walk into the place.”

“There should be a guard or two, so you’ll have to take them down as quietly as possible,” Kenma replied. “Also, the cameras are equipped with flashlights, so you should be able to see where they're pointed at.”

“So Kuroo couldn't afford night vision, huh?” Asahi commented.

Tsukishima tapped his earpiece once more. “Goddess, Townsperson B. How are you doing back there?”

“Good,” Kiyoko answered. “We’re following closely.”

“Same here,” Yachi added. “Also, everyone’s passed out in the Everest...they’ve been snoring for ages.”

“Well, wake them up,” Tsukishima said, as the view of the rear gates came into view. “We’re here.”

 

* * *

 

After parking their cars somewhere close by, Karasuno began piling out, their black combat suits and weapons blending in perfectly with the night.

They made their way to Nekoma’s back gates, which looked exactly the same as the one in front: tall, metal, and a mural of yellow cat eyes painted in the center.

“Approaching gates,” Tsukishima whispered, leading the group to the metal doors, careful to dodge the cameras on either sides that were sweeping from side to side. Upon closer inspection, he saw a small steel box on the left side of the gates. He lifted the lid, and found a typing pad and a small screen.

“You’ll need a four-digit password,” Kenma said. “It’s 0817.”

Pocketing his gun, Tsukishima reached out and quickly punched in the numbers. To his relief, the screen beeped, and the metal doors screeched open.

“Hold it,” Daichi whispered, as the others began raising their guns.

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as slowly but surely, the doors gave way. And to their surprise, they found that nobody was waiting for them on the other side.

“Suspicious,” Hinata mumbled.

“What is?” Akaashi asked.

“No guards,” Sugawara answered, before slowly moving forward with his gun out. “As far as I can see...yup, no one in sight.”

“I'm calling it now,” Ennoshita said. “It’s a trap.”

“Obviously it is,” Tanaka said. “But let’s go, anyway.”

“Okay, from the gates, make it to the glass doors, which will lead you inside,” Kenma instructed. “But be warned; after this, there won't be any visible signs or indications that the cameras are recording. And I can't hack through there, or else they'll know it’s me. I can still guide you, but you’ll have to deal with the cameras and the guards all by yourselves.”

“That’s a risk we took when we agreed to this mission,” Tsukishima said. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Alright, then,” Kenma said. “Back then, no one ever stayed up this late with me to monitor the cameras, and the night roaming sessions aren't strictly implemented with us. So chances of running into people are slim; present, but slim.”

Karasuno quickly made their way across the field, dodging the sweeping lights from the cameras. They tried to make as less noise as possible as they approached the glass doors, which slid open upon sensing their presence.

“Okay,” Tsukishima whispered. “Boss, Mr. Refreshing, and Guardian Deity, with me. Ace, Anchor, Ares, and Hachiko; King, Shrimpy, Goddess, and Townsperson B.”

“There are three floors in total here—four, if you add the rooftop, but since Kuroo only uses it as parking for helicopters or planes, there’s probably not much to see there,” Kenma said. “The ground floor is below the surface of which you're standing on. That’s where the infirmary and the labs are, left and right wings, respectively. The second floor—the one you're on now—has the first floor of the training center on the right wing, and the first floor of the dormitories on the left wing. The third floor is technically extensions of the two. Kuroo’s office is on that floor.”

“Then my team will take the third floor,” Tsukishima said.

“We’ll take the second,” Kageyama declared.

“And we’ll check the ground floor,” Asahi said. “Then, if there’s nothing there, we’ll check the rooftop, in case.”

“Okay,” Tsukishima said, clearing his throat before continuing. “Your orders: find as much information about Kuroo’s schemes as possible for Akaashi-san to jot down. And find Y/N. That, above all things.”

“Roger!”

 

* * *

 

Kageyama held out an arm for Hinata to stop as they approached one corner. He peeked around it, making sure no one was around.

He held his thumb up, beckoning his partner forward as they moved quietly.

“Looks like a...dormitory,” Hinata whispered.

“Yeah,” Kageyama agreed. He tapped his earpiece. “Goddess, Townsperson B, find anything in the training center?”

“None, so far,” Yachi answered. “It’s just a huge space with large mats and various training equipments. What’s on your end?”

“Closed doors, mostly,” Kageyama said, looking around. “Though, with how loud Hinata’s going, everybody should be awake by now.”

“Oi,” Hinata grumbled.

They made their way down the corridor, narrowly missing a security camera’s field of vision.

“Kenma-san, it shouldn't be this quiet,” Hinata whispered in his earpiece.

“It’s nearly midnight, Shouyou,” Kenma answered. “No one’s up at this hour.”

“I agree with Hinata, though,” came Daichi’s voice. “It’s unnerving to hear how quiet the place is.”

“Maybe they’re out on a mission?” Yamaguchi offered.

Kageyama kept inching forward, until his foot hit something rather soft.

The abrupt contact caused him to jerk backward, the back of his head slamming right into Hinata’s nose as he tried to regain his footing. Kageyama winced and rubbed his head, as Hinata let out a soundless scream.

“Meow.”

The two stopped in confusion at the sudden sound. Hinata, who was still holding his nose, squinted to see better in the darkness.

There, right where Kageyama had nearly stepped on, was a fluffy white Persian cat. It had light blue, almost silver eyes, that were staring at the two with such contempt—probably because of the fact that Kageyama had almost run over it.

“Oh, it’s a cat,” Kageyama said, feeling his heart rate returning to normal. “Figures. Really scared me, though.”

They watched as the cat stood up, sniffed in distaste, and walked away, both its nose and tail held up in the air.

“What was that?” Akaashi asked.

“Cat,” Hinata said. “And an impending nosebleed.”

“Cat?” Kenma repeated. “Was it...white? Persian?”

Kageyama paused. “Yeah. Yeah, it was.”

“What’s happening?” Ennoshita asked. “What’s wrong?”

“King and Shrimpy ran into a cat,” Tsukishima answered. “What’s weird about that?”

“That’s not just any cat,” Kenma said. “That’s Anne. Y/N’s cat. And I think you should hurry up in there.”

 

* * *

 

"Wow,” Sugawara whistled. “It’s pretty huge.”

“ “Huge” is an understatement,” Daichi commented, as they looked around the second floor of the training center. “Reminds me of that one fighting arena when I visited Beijing. This is big enough to hold an army.”

“Which is essentially what Kuroo is trying to build, right?” Sugawara asked.

“But even if that’s true…” Nishinoya said. “...it doesn't look like he has one. In here, at least.”

“Nishinoya-san’s right,” Tsukishima whispered. “You noticed it, too?”

“Noticed what?” Akaashi asked, over the earpiece.

Tsukishima tightened his hold on his gun’s holster. “We’ve been here for twenty minutes...and there’s no one in sight.”

“Except for the cat,” Hinata chimed in.

Everyone paused. “Cat?” Daichi said, tapping his earpiece. “Shrimpy, what cat?”

“He and King ran into Anne, Kuroo’s cat,” Kenma answered. “Well, technically, it’s Y/N’s cat. A gift from him. But when she left, Kuroo took the liberty of caring for Anne.”

“Kuroo’s cat?” Tsukishima had gone completely still. “Then, if she found Shrimpy and King, she…”

Nishinoya’s eyes widened, as he caught onto Tsukishima’s train of thought. His hand immediately flew to his earpiece. “Ace! Come in, Ace!”

“What? What is it?” came Asahi’s worried voice.

“Did you find anything?”

Asahi paused. “We...we found Y/N’s medical records,” he said. “It’s too dark to read, though. And Yamaguchi seems to have found Kuroo’s.”

“Well, take them and go!” Sugawara hissed. “Get up here to the third floor!”

“King, Shrimpy, Goddess, Townsperson B, get up here!” Tsukishima ordered.

“What’s all the fuss—ah!” Kiyoko suddenly cried.

Daichi, Tsukishima, Sugawara, and Nishinoya all looked at each other, panicked.

“Goddess?!”

“No…no!” Yachi’s desperate shrieking was practically drilling into their ears.

“What the hell is happening?” Ennoshita shouted, sounding like he was running. “What happened to—”

“Ennoshita, look out!” Tanaka yelled.

“Glasses, get out of there,  _ now _ !” Kenma ordered.

Tsukishima turned to Daichi. “You heard?” he said. “Let’s go before—”

“Ohohoho? What do we have here?”

The lights in the training center were abruptly switched on, blinding the small group as they attempted to leave.

Standing on the balcony of the room’s second floor, looking down at the situation with glee was Kuroo Tetsurou himself. He had on a grin and both hands on his hips; a white Persian cat curled up affectionately on one of his broad shoulders.

“Was that Kuroo?” Akaashi asked.

Tsukishima’s jaw tightened. “Yeah,” he said, through clenched teeth. “It’s him, alright.”

“Hello, Karasuno,” Kuroo greeted. “What’s up, Daichi?”

“Shut the hell up,” Sugawara growled. “You damn traitor.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “ “Traitor”? Aww, I’m hurt. I simply want to make life easier for people like us. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Don't act all righteous,” Nishinoya snarled, pulling out his gun and loading it. “You set everything up. You were the one we should have been fighting from the start, not Shiratorizawa. You played everyone, and cost a lot of people their lives.”

“Is that so?” Kuroo said. “Well...consider it an aiding factor in the greater scheme of things.”

“Kuroo…” Daichi’s voice sounded strained; hurt, even. “You said we would always work together. I thought I could trust you. Our own goddamn Godfather trusted you! And you think you can just turn on us like nothing ever happened?”

“Don't you fucking lecture me about your Godfather!” Kuroo snarled. “He’s just as much to blame for this mess. And so is ours. A lot of fucking Godfathers—the ones we looked up to—have been manipulating us even before we knew it was happening.

“But don't worry.” he said, tucking his hands into his pockets. “As soon as I’m done taking over the Imperial Palace, you’ll be free to do as you please. No one can manipulate you then.”

“All you want is power!” Sugawara shouted. “You want this for yourself! You couldn't give a flying fuck about what we do—you’re just going to abuse your position to make things go your way. Now do us a favor and go die in a fire. Return Y/N to us, at once.”

“Ah, is this what this little field trip is about?” Kuroo grinned, turning his attention on Tsukishima. The blonde’s hatred towards the Boss of Nekoma only increased as they looked at each other.

“Give her back, Kuroo,” Tsukishima demanded.

“No can do, Glasses,” Kuroo replied. “Though, you're welcome to try. It took you long enough to get here—I’m willing to bet she thinks you’ve already abandoned her.”

Tsukishima hesitated, a sudden cold feeling washing over him.

Kuroo reached up on his shoulder, stroking the cat lightly. “Everyone knows you’re here, thanks to Anne,” he said. “Smart cat. Knows that her comrades have her back whenever she needs them.”

He pointed at the group, his grin looking slightly unhinged, creating a malevolent sight as Anne paced down his arm. “I’m not so sure I can say the same about you. Attack!”

“Get ready!” Tsukishima shouted, pulling out his gun as dozens of Nekoma members swarmed the room, all geared up and thirsty for blood.


	9. power

Ah, what a familiar scene.

Kageyama and Hinata were running for their lives, trying to escape a squad of Nekoma members. It turned out that using force to combat them was nearly impossible, judging from how they dodged every bullet with ease. Hinata was lucky enough to gun one of them down, but there were at least nine of them left to go.

“What do we do?” Hinata shrieked, as they turned yet another corner.

Kageyama ground his teeth and ducked as a bullet came flying over his head. “We’ll save Goddess and Townsperson B,” he decided. “Then we’ll rendezvous with the rest on the third floor.”

“Got it.”

Kageyama’s legs felt like jelly, and he was already so winded after dodging and running for so long. He felt fatigue creeping up on him like a snake, crawling into his muscles and attempting to weigh him down as he turned yet another corner.

“You're mine!” a Nekoma member shouted behind them, and Kageyama made the mistake of looking back.

He saw the gun being pulled out a split second before it was fired, and he barely managed to jerk his head back before the bullet flew next to his face. Unfortunately, the force was strong enough to graze his cheek, cutting the skin open.

He scowled as he pulled his own gun out, a plan coming to him as he saw the doors to the training center right up ahead.

“Hinata!”  _ Fuck protocol. I need his attention, right now. _

The orange-haired hitman turned to him abruptly, surprised by the sudden use of his own name. “Huh?”

“I have a plan,” Kageyama said, internally wincing as he felt his legs beginning to burn up. “But it’s a crazy one.”

“It’s to be expected of you, to be honest. What do you need?”

Kageyama moved closer to Hinata to whisper the plan, pulling back only to make sure he understood. They nodded to each other, before turning their attention to their destination.

_ Hinata can do this _ , he thought.  _ He’s got a lot more stamina than I do...and these people don’t look too intelligent… _

He frowned.  _ Just a little more. Just a little further— _

_ Why wait? _

His eyes widened.

Perhaps it was because of the fact that he was so tired, he was already seeing things; but at that moment, he caught a glimpse of Y/N and her chaotic-looking smirk.

_ You don't need Hinata to do this,  _ she purred in his ear.  _ It’s true. The members behind you are probably as dense as a rock. You can take them all out right here, and right now. _

“Get out of my head,” he growled under his breath.

“Kageyama!”

Hinata’s loud cry snapped him back to reality. He blinked, only to see the next corner rapidly approaching. Kageyama’s lungs felt like they were about to explode, but he managed to push himself a little faster.

“Now!” he said.

Hinata nodded, and turned the corridor, sprinting into the darkness.

Kageyama managed to put some distance between himself and his pursuers, before coming to a stop and drawing his gun.

_ Hmm? _ Y/N’s voice hummed, almost mockingly.  _ What’s this? Trying to buy Hinata some time? _

_ Exactly _ , he thought.  _ So if you want to be useful, you’d better be now! _

Kageyama raised his gun at one of the members, and shot. Immediately, the bullet found its target, right smack in the middle of the member’s forehead.

The group came to a halt, some practically snapping their heads around to look at their fallen comrade’s mangled corpse.

Even Kageyama found himself dumbfounded. He wasn't even aiming for the head in particular. He’d practically shot point-blank, trying to sow confusion and disorder in their group as well as draw attention to himself.

Well, at least he’d achieved that last one.

They turned back to him, the one in front—which Kageyama assumed was the leader—looking murderous.

For some reason, Kageyama had an urge to drop his gun.

It dangled loosely from his fingers, on the verge of falling to the ground. He felt oddly stabilized; calm, even, as if it was just him practicing with the shooting range in Y/N’s backyard back in Miyagi.

_ Drop it,  _ Y/N crooned in his ear.  _ Drop it, drop it. I’ve got a better one for you. _

His hand inched towards the knife strapped to his thigh.

“Kill him!” the leader yelled, and the group charged forward.

Kageyama unsheathed his knife, feeling incredibly naked as he faced off against a group of bloodthirsty Nekoma members with only a medium-sized knife.

The same knife that Y/N…

They were coming closer. Kageyama’s muscles tensed.

_ Come at me,  _ he thought.

As the first member reached him, Kageyama smacked away his outstretched fist, driving the blade into his open torso.

He did the same to the rest of the members, slashing and hacking his way through their assault. There were times when he drifted in and out of his consciousness, always coming back with new blood on his hands or an incoming bullet to dodge. The way he handled their attacks was definitely not his style of fighting—as if someone had taken control of him, manipulating his moves like some kind of puppet.

He came to his senses as he felt blood splatter across his cheek, followed by a loud  _ thud  _ that came from a body hitting the floor. He blinked, and the rather hazy vision of Hinata holding up a steaming gun came into view.

“Took you long enough,” Kageyama said, wondering why his voice sounded so far away.

“Shut up,” Hinata replied, loading his gun. “It wasn't like you were going to save some for me, anyway.”

“What?” Kageyama looked around, staring at the motionless bodies of the Nekoma members. Their red-and-black uniforms did a good job at hiding the fact that they were practically lying in a pool of their own blood. He looked down at his hand, examining the lone knife that he had used to kill them.

He could practically hear Y/N laughing in delight.

“That’s…” He shook his head. “I don't…”

“Well, as long as it keeps the bastards off our ass, might as well do it again,” Hinata said, turning away as if it would somehow hide the slight fear in his voice. He had clearly seen Kageyama take on a group of eight grown men, dropping his gun at the last second and replacing it with a single knife. Hinata had thought that it was a suicidal thing for Kageyama to do, but judging by the brutal—almost animalistic —way of dealing with the members, he’d thought about letting Kageyama finish the job himself.

Kageyama turned to look at the doors. “Goddess and Townsperson B should be in here,” he said. “Let’s go!”

 

* * *

 

“Damn it,” Sugawara growled, as he slammed his elbow into an incoming member’s face. “How many of them are there?!”

“More importantly, where are the others?” Nishinoya said, as he ducked under an outstretched fist. “I can't get ahold of anyone!”

Yaku Morisuke, Kuroo’s second-in-command, was leading his squad against Tsukishima’s. It was safe to say that it was pretty much a losing battle, with only four against what seemed to be more than a dozen Nekoma members. Even Kuroo himself had joined in, locked in combat with Daichi.

Tsukishima shot two consecutive members down, before taking a step back and surveying the situation.  _ It’s a miracle we’ve lasted this long,  _ he thought.  _ But everyone’s tired, and there aren't any signs of the others coming in soon. At this rate, we’ll be finished before the mission is… _

His eyes slowly began to widen.

“Kenma-san,” he said into the earpiece quickly, as he kicked away another member. “Any idea where Y/N might be?”

A pause. “She could be in her room,” Kenma suggested. “Kuroo said something about not letting her see you...or any of Karasuno, really. He’s paranoid that you might take her away.”

“Well, I'm about to do that,” Tsukishima began to run. “Kuroo be damned. I’m making sure I’ll get what I came here for.”

“Glasses, let’s not be hasty,” Akaashi urged. “Abandoning the Boss and the others now could mean—”

He was cut off as something collided with Tsukishima, causing him to topple over and roll across the floor painfully. His vision was momentarily blurry, as he was hit with the realization that his glasses had been knocked off. He attempted to lift himself and reach for them, only to be weighed down by the very object—no,  _ person _ —that had hit him.

Tsukishima barely managed to grab his glasses as footsteps approached, and when his vision sharpened, the first thing he saw was Kuroo looming over him.

“And where do you think  _ you're  _ going?” he said coolly.

Tsukishima grunted as he attempted to lift himself once more, only to find that the one was making it difficult for him was, in fact, an unconscious Daichi.

His eyebrows furrowed, and a fleeting moment of panic took over him.  _ No way,  _ he thought.  _ Daichi-san… Daichi-san, of all people...how… _

He could clearly hear Sugawara’s angry shouts as he slowly peeled Daichi off himself, so he could meet Kuroo at his height. Tsukishima realized in that moment that his initial hatred towards the scheming Boss had been completely warranted all this time. As he looked into those cat-like hues, he could feel nothing but pure loathing for the man that had practically taken everything away from him, and the thought of completely erasing him from existence sounded extremely appealing.

“It’s over, Kuroo,” Tsukishima growled. “Just let Y/N go. She didn't ask for any of this.”

“Oh? And you're sure she asked to be with you?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you know that Karasuno shouldn't exist by now, and each and every single head of your group should have been brought to me...by her?”

Tsukishima’s grip on his gun tightened. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how Y/N was supposed to kill you,” Kuroo said. “Wipe out your group, stop you from getting stronger. I’m telling you, she could have done it.”

“Glasses,” Kenma spoke in his earpiece, a warning tone in his voice.

“But, obviously, she didn't,” Kuroo continued, a cold look in his eyes. “And that’s all your fault.”

Tsukishima ground his teeth together.

Kuroo raised his gun, pointing it at Tsukishima. “You think you understand her?” he demanded. “You think you know everything there is about her? She’s made for a much higher cause than some petty mafia squabbling. She’s right where she belongs—with me.  _ I’m  _ the one who’s been there for her all this time, not you—the fuckwad that she thinks she can use to escape her real purpose by marrying.  _ I’m  _ the one most like her. I know how she feels. You don't.”

“Your whining makes perfect sense,” Tsukishima spat. “You’re hung up on her. If you really loved her, then why did you leave Akihiro in the dark, completely oblivious to his true identity?”

Bingo. He’d hit a mark, as Kuroo’s eye twitched compulsively.

“That was her decision,” he growled. “Not mine.”

“Well, while you're out there pining after someone who’s obviously done with you, the kid had to stay at a place that isn't even his home, thinking he’d been abandoned by his parents,” Tsukishima retorted. “Y/N put her life in danger trying to save him. And that’s the last time someone important to me dies because of that reason.”

His fist came crashing down on Kuroo, slamming into the side of his face in the form of a mean left hook.

To his dismay, Kuroo got up quickly, and launched himself at Tsukishima. At that very second, Tsukishima noticed that Kuroo had discarded his plain gun in favor of a medium-sized bayonet. He jumped out of the way, as Kuroo barrelled past.

As Tsukishima straightened, he found himself face-to-face with an incoming roundhouse kick, unable to dodge this time. He braced himself as the blow connected, but neither sheer willpower nor preparedness protected him from the force of Kuroo’s kick.

The feeling was incredibly foreign, like he had been taken by the head and thrown carelessly to the side. The force, which should have just been enough to send him off-balance, caused him to crash into the nearest wall which was about ten meters away. Tsukishima barely had time to register the movement, realizing its impact only after he felt blood trickling down his face.

His thoughts were a mess, as was his body; a single movement caused him to wince in pain. He deduced that he’d broken several bones, judging by the way his limbs were positioned as he lay in the rubble. He was dazed and confused— _ no roundhouse kick could be that strong. _

But he forced himself to stand, nonetheless, ignoring Kuroo’s maniacal laugh as he struggled to his feet. Tsukishima's eye caught something lying a few inches away, and he briefly looked away from it only to see Kuroo raising his bayonet up.

“Tsukishima!” Nishinoya yelled.

Tsukishima ducked as Kuroo shot, diving madly for the knife that lay just slightly beyond his reach. His fingers closed around the handle, just as a brief memory resurfaced.

 

* * *

 

_ “No good. Do it again.” _

_ Tsukishima's eye twitched as he turned to the female sitting in the grass, sitting cross-legged leisurely and sipping some lemonade. _

_ “You could at least demonstrate, you know,” he deadpanned. _

_ Y/N wrinkled her nose. “You asked to be taught. So I did.” _

_ “Some teacher you are.” _

_ She rolled her eyes before setting her glass down, and standing up, brushing the blades of grass that had stuck to her legs. Tsukishima averted his eyes, trying not to think about the way those same legs wrapped around his waist in a vice-like grip. _

_ “This is a dagger knife,” Y/N said, taking the knife from him and holding it up. “This isn't the kind of knife that your mother uses to chop up potatoes. This is a blade designed specifically for combat purposes, both offense and defense. They’re two very different things.” _

_ “I know this. What do I need to improve?” _

_ Y/N didn't look too amused. “You could start with your grip, for once. You're holding it too loose—I hold your dick tighter than you do with your knife.” _

_ “Funny,” Tsukishima snapped. “And? What else?” _

_ “Put a little bit of power in your swing. Now, in theory, you can't really decapitated someone in one slice with this,” Y/N said, positioning herself in front of Tsukishima to demonstrate. “But, with the right power, you can stab or cut open a few wounds. Pretty standard basic stuff.” _

_ Tsukishima watched as Y/N guided his hand, moving the knife downwards so the blade was positioned facing his forearm. She moved her hand in unison with his, slicing through the air with several movements. _

_ He couldn't resist himself, and placed a hand on her hip as he rested his chin on top of her head. _

_ “Pay attention, Kei.” _

_ “Mmm. Go on.” _

_ “Weirdo,” Y/N sighed, as she felt him pull her hair back to litter kisses down her neck. “Is this how you dealt with your teachers?” _

_ "Last I checked, I wasn’t in a relationship with any of my teachers,” Tsukishima said, letting his hand slide from her hip to under her shirt. _

_ “Gross.” Y/N closed her eyes and bit her lip as Tsukishima’s breath fanned over her neck. _

_ “Oi!” came Tanaka’s angry voice, which somehow still had an amused lilt to it. “This is a training ground, not a scene for a porno!” _

_ Y/N laughed as she pulled away from Tsukishima, taking the knife from him and tossing it carelessly behind her. _

_ “Come on,” she said, pulling on his arm. “We can continue upstairs.” _

_ Tsukishima tried to focus on the way she led him into the house, and not on the fact that the knife she had thrown had hit the target behind her, right in the middle of the circle. _

 

* * *

 

Tsukishima gripped the knife firmly, and, using all of what remained of his strength, reached up to stab Kuroo’s thigh.

The howl of pain that escaped Kuroo sounded like a wounded animal, and Tsukishima managed to roll out of the way as the Boss of Nekoma was forced down to his knees, Tsukishima's knife buried to the hilt on his left thigh.

_ I got him,  _ Tsukishima thought.  _ And, for the final blow… _

He yelled in pain as he attempted to stand, the dizziness and the literal feeling of his bones snapping into pieces as he poured his weight into them nearly making him pass out on the spot.

With difficulty, he managed to grab Kuroo’s bayonet, which had been lying on the ground after he’d dropped it. He aimed it as carefully as he could with bloodied, shaky hands, watching as Kuroo pulled the knife out of his leg.

“Take the shot!” Nishinoya screamed.

Tsukishima knew it. He _could_ do it. Kuroo was completely defenseless, on the ground, and in pain. How everything could be solved if he pulled the trigger right then and there…

It seemed too easy.

“What are you waiting for?!” Sugawara shouted, and from the corner of his eye, Tsukishima could see the silver-haired second-in-command attempting to pull a still-unconscious Daichi to safety.

The scene filled him with a renewed purpose. He turned to Kuroo, meeting his scheming eyes with his own hues of pure hatred.  _ You did this to us _ , he thought.

Kuroo attempted to stand.

“Tsukishima!” Nishinoya roared.

_ Why...why can't I… _

As soon as his fingers slipped over the trigger, a figured suddenly dropped in front of Kuroo. It happened so fast, Tsukishima could have sworn it just materialized in front of him.

It crouched protectively in front of Kuroo, dressed in a black-and-red leather jumpsuit, which Tsukishima recognized as the colors of Nekoma. It held two long combat knives, straightening up to face Tsukishima with a stance that could only be described as cat-like.

A stance...that he was all too familiar with.

Kuroo’s laugh rang in his ears, and echoed through the entire room as Tsukishima recognized the figure in front of him. He was frozen to the spot, his heart hammering in his chest and his head spinning even more so than usual.

_ It can't be… _

The figure raised its head, locking eyes with Tsukishima, confirming what he had been dreading the most.

“You…” he choked out. “...Y/N…?”

He caught a glimpse of the face he had been dying to see again, and briefly felt her foot press against his chest before a well-placed push kick sent him flying across the room once more.


	10. reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart goes out to the victims of the Manchester bombing incident. If any of my readers are within the area, please know that you and your families are in my prayers and I hope you are safe and together in these troubled times. Stay vigilant, be alert, and if you can, please help out as much as possible.
> 
> Spread love, you guys. Stay strong.

Asahi burst through the doors of the third floor training center, supporting a nearly-unconscious Ennoshita and running to where Sugawara and Nishinoya were, Tanaka and Yamaguchi on his tail.

“What happened?” he asked. Then he stopped at the sight of Daichi on the ground.

Tanaka squinted through his swollen, bruised eye. “Daichi-san…?”

“He's out cold,” Sugawara said helplessly. “I’ve tried everything, but he’s just not responding. He’s alive and breathing, at least.”

“You didn't run into Kageyama and the others, did you?” Nishinoya asked.

“No, we didn't,” Tanaka replied. “Though I'm pretty sure they're on their way here...I couldn't hear through the earpiece properly, but it sounded like Kiyoko-san and Hitoka-chan are in pretty bad shape…”

“We should go help them, then!” Nishinoya declared, standing up. He paused, however, as Sugawara raised a hand.

“No one’s going anywhere,” he said seriously. “There aren't any members here anymore, but we can't say it’s the same scenario on the second floor. Stay where you are.”

Yamaguchi turned to the scene in front of them. His eyes widened. “Is…” he said. “Is that...Tsukki?”

“And…” Asahi gasped. “No way. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Yeah.” Sugawara clenched his jaw. “It’s Y/N.”

 

* * *

 

Tsukishima was confused.

He’d been on the receiving end of Y/N’s attacks before, but that was during training. She wasn't actually trying to kill him. And as far as he could remember, she wasn't this strong.

Y/N moved like a tornado, spinning around in dizzying circles with her blades out, just  _ daring  _ him to come closer. But he couldn't bring himself to hurt her; and even if he did, he didn't have the strength to do so.

All his tired and battered body could do was defend itself, and reason with her.

“Y/N!” Tsukishima shouted. “Stop! Look at me!”

“Wait,  _ what?! _ ” Akaashi said in his earpiece. “Y/N? You found her?!”

“Yeah, and she’s trying to kill me for some reason,” Tsukishima grunted as he tried desperately to kick her legs out from underneath her.

He saw her maneuver her body around, her leg sweeping out in a circle in front of her—the same roundhouse kick that Kuroo had done earlier.

But Tsukishima saw it coming, and grabbed her ankle as it neared his face.

His heart dropped as Y/N snarled in annoyance.

“Listen to me, idiot!” he yelled, as she struggled to pull her leg out of his grip. “It’s me, Tsukishima! Don’t you remember?!”

“I remember, alright?!” Y/N snapped. Her voice was so full of venom and hatred, and for once, it matched the fire that always burned in her eyes. “I remember your fucking face. You abandoned me.”

Tsukishima tightened his grip on her ankle. “I didn't.”

“You  _ did! _ ” Y/N pulled her leg out from his grasp, and swung it downwards. Tsukishima dodged at the last second, noting how her heel practically cracked the floor as it made contact.

He looked up at her, only to find that she had somersaulted over his head, a single hand on his shoulder, and let herself fall, slamming her feet into the back of his legs as they both slid to the floor.

She then positioned herself on top of him, her legs locking him in place, and he closed his eyes as she raised her knives.

“No, Y/N, don't!” Tanaka shouted.

Tsukishima felt the impact—two points of impact, rather—on either side of his head. He opened his eyes to see Y/N hovering directly above his face.

She’d slammed the knives down a few inches away from his head, having used enough strength to bury the blade halfway into the concrete. She was holding onto their handles, using them to lift herself up just above his face, staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“Tsukishima,” Kenma spoke, actually sounding fearful. “You can't fight Y/N.”

“I know that,” Tsukishima whispered, refusing to break eye contact with her.

“No, no, no, I mean, you really can't fight her,” Kenma said. “I think I know what you're seeing right now. She’s undefeatable at this point, and if you make a wrong move, she’ll kill you.”

“Why?” Yamaguchi, who had been listening to Kenma, said. “Kenma-san, what’s going on?”

“Everyone, listen closely,” Kenma instructed. “Don't attempt to fight Y/N. Not in that state of hers. She can, and she  _ will  _ kill you, no matter who you are and what she is to you. She can't recognize you right now. Get out of there, and I'll explain everything as soon as you head to Fukurodani HQ.”

“But Kageyama and the others aren't back yet!” Asahi protested.

Tsukishima had completely drowned out the noise in the room. He was staring up at Y/N, and she stared back. He was completely lost in her gaze, searching for any sign that she still remembered who he was.

What they were.

“Y/N…?” he tried. “Please...it’s me...Kei…”

She looked unfazed.

“Remember? Tsukishima Kei. Karasuno. Everyone.”

Her bottom lip quivered, and Tsukishima took it as a sign to continue.

“I loved you. You loved me.”

Her jaw tightened at his words. “I don't remember loving a traitor.”

It was as if her words had manifested themselves and brutally slapped Tsukishima across his face. It was clear that whatever Y/N wasn’t herself, based on what she was saying.

Yet Tsukishima couldn't shake the feeling that what she was talking about held  _ some  _ truth in it.

“I loved you,” he repeated, ignoring both the physical and emotional pain that was racking his system. “I still do.”

Her hands were trembling, and so was her body.

“You left me alone,” she whispered. “You all did.”

“We didn't want to,” he answered. “I didn't want to. We thought you were dead.”

Her eyes seemed to harden at that last word. Tsukishima braced himself for another hit, but it never came.

“You remember me, right?” he continued, ignoring the way her stare had morphed into a glare. “What did they do to you? What happened to you?”

“ _ You  _ happened to me,” Y/N snarled.

“Everything Kuroo has been telling you is a lie,” Tsukishima said. “We’re your family. You belong to us. To me.”

At that, Y/N snapped. “I belong to no one!” she yelled, standing up, pulling her blades out, and raised it over his head.

He rolled out of the way just as Y/N plunged one of the knives down with ridiculous strength. Tsukishima backed up, watching as she pulled it out of the ground once more and made her way to him.

_ What did Kuroo say… _ he thought, as Y/N pointed her knife at him. Unwelcome tears pooled in his eyes, his chest tightening painfully at the sight of the absolute fury in her expression.  _ What did Kuroo do...to make you think that I abandoned you? _

“I never left you!” he shouted. “Everything I did, I did for you! For you and the kids we were supposed to have!”

Y/N stopped.

“I left that day because I needed information that was crucial for  _ your  _ safety!” he continued. “But even when I was away, and you thought I was dead, I led the others to find you in that warehouse! I wanted to come back for you…but at the same time, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be confronted with the reality that you were gone.”

As the scene unraveled in front of them, the others barely saw a dazed Daichi sit up, blinking in confusion. Sugawara was in his field of vision immediately, checking for any injuries.

“Daichi! You're okay! You're okay, right?” he asked frantically.

“I…” Daichi groaned as he cradled his head in one hand. “It was...Kuroo, he…”

“...threw you like you weighed nothing at all?” Nishinoya finished. “Yeah. I saw.”

“He’s strong,” Daichi said. “Stronger than I’ve ever seen him…”

“Well then, it’s obvious that whatever he’s having, Y/N’s getting, too,” Yamaguchi said. “She’s gotten ridiculously fast and strong, too.”

They then turned their attention back to the two. Tsukishima had gotten to his feet, beat up and exhausted, but determined all the same. He limped forward, a stunned Y/N watching his every move.

“It’s true, I gave up on you,” he said. “But you gave up on me, too. You lost all hope when you thought I’d died. You ran away. You went for someone else.”

“Y/N,” Kuroo called. Y/N ignored him.

Tsukishima felt her breath hitch as he stopped in front of her, and she tensed as his hands came to rest on either side of her neck.

“But I’m still a coward,” he whispered. “I didn't want to look for you and face the truth.”

To his surprise, he could see tears forming in her eyes as he brushed her hair away from her face.

“How much have you suffered?” he asked. “Were you lonely? Did you blame yourself for everything?”

Y/N blinked, her bottom lip quivering as she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She was starting to remember...the pieces were starting to come together...the picture was clearer now…

“I’m sorry,” Tsukishima finished. “Please. Remember. Come home.”

“Y/N!” Kuroo shouted, insistently this time.

“I…” Y/N began to cry. “H...home…”

She suddenly pushed Tsukishima away as pain seared through her body. She clutched her head, gritting her teeth as it throbbed painfully.

Tsukishima watched in horror as Y/N dropped her blades, hands pressed tightly over her ears, crying out in pain. She let out a guttural scream of terror, tripping over her feet as she attempted to back away.

“What’s happening?” Tanaka exclaimed.

“Get out of there!” Kenma yelled in their earpieces. “Get out now!”

“Y/N?!” Tsukishima said, crouching down to see her better. “What’s wrong?”

“Out…” she gasped. “Get...stay out…”

“Glasses, let’s go!” Sugawara yelled, and Tsukishima turned to see the others making a run for the doors.

“Stop!” Y/N screamed, clutching her head so tightly, Tsukishima felt as if she could claw through the skin at any moment. “Make it stop!”

Abandoning all other signs of danger as well as Kenma and Akaashi’s cries of warning, he crawled over to Y/N and held her tightly.

“Tell me,” he insisted, his grip on her tightening as she attempted to wriggle free. “Let me help you! What’s wrong?!”

“Get your hands off her!” Kuroo growled.

Y/N gripped the front of Tsukishima’s uniform, with an urgency that got his attention quickly. It killed him to see the tears and the sheer terror in her eyes; whatever she was experiencing, it was far beyond explanation.

“Please…” she begged. “...kill me…”

He couldn't believe his ears.

“No more…save me, please…”

“What?” he croaked. “You're insane...there’s got to be another way…”

Her eyes turned dark, as did her expression. “There is no other way.”

Y/N broke out of his arms and pushed him away, sending him backwards with her ridiculous strength. When he stood up once more, he saw her helping Kuroo up, and the two rushing out of the center.

Tsukishima cursed, and ran out to follow the others.

 

* * *

 

“Just a little further,” Y/N urged.

“No good,” Kuroo grunted, clutching his leg. “There’s too much blood.”

He leaned against the wall, cursing as his hand left streaks of his own blood on the concrete. He sank into a sitting position, propping himself up on the wall as he felt every ounce of his strength seep out of his system.

Y/N smacked his hand away from his leg to take a closer look. As she examined his wound, he watched her carefully.

“Just now, in there…” he began. “You…”

“Just forget about it,” she said hastily. “It’s still fucking painful and I feel like I’m going insane. So just let me deal with it on my own.”

Kuroo sighed as Y/N began to untie her belt. “We were kids,” he mused. “We were just kids who didn't know we were being toyed with...I never thought it would go this far.”

He continued watching her as she applied pressure to his wound, hissing as she passed over a sensitive area. “I thought that you—that  _ we _ —would get through this together. But now, I have a feeling I’m making things harder for you—”

“Stop being sentimental,” Y/N growled. “I’m not doing this for you.”

She grabbed her belt, wrapped it just above Kuroo’s wound, and began to wrap it around his leg. She clicked her tongue in annoyance as the belt slipped several times.

She looked up, and was alarmed to see Kuroo paling significantly. His breaths began to get shallower, and he looked like he was having a hard time keeping himself awake. Her eyes widened, as a sudden thought came to her.

“You took it too,” she said. “The paste and the pills. It’s in your bloodstream, isn't it? And you're losing too much blood…”

Kuroo shook his head. “Just the pills,” he said, rather breathlessly. “Just...just the pills.”

“The pills…” Y/N repeated. “...the “painkillers”?”

Slowly, Kuroo nodded.

She looked down in horror, and began tying the belt above her hands. To her frustration, the blood on her hands and the way they trembled hindered her progress, and countless curses fell from her lips as she tried to stop the blood from flowing.

_ I get it now,  _ she thought.  _ His body’s rejecting the pills, and its response is to rid itself of it through bleeding profusely...it’s like a severe withdrawal, and if I don't stop the blood, he’s going to… _

Y/N tugged on the belt harshly, hating how she was starting to hyperventilate and tremble with panic. Her thoughts had been a mess lately, confusing her with the occasional hallucination and the constant headaches and weariness whenever she went too long without the paste and the pills. She had a pretty good idea about what they were for, but as much as she wanted to stop herself from taking them, her body had other ideas.

In fact, her body seemed to have taken control over her rational side completely, as she felt a tear slipping out due to the seemingly futile attempts to secure the belt. “It won't...hold,” she said desperately. “It keeps slipping…”

Kuroo answered with a distorted hum.

“No, no, no,” she babbled, grunting as she tugged on the belt. To her relief, the blood began to slow down—but it was gushing out, all the same.

She swallowed back a sob, frustrated tears blurring her vision. “Stop bleeding, for fuck’s sake,” she scolded weakly. “You idiot…”

Y/N suddenly felt a hand on her cheek, and she looked up to see Kuroo staring at her intently. “Why are you crying?” he asked.

“I don't know,” she admitted. “I don't know anymore.”

He managed a smile. “You know, it’s the first time I've ever seen you cry over me.”

Y/N wiped her nose with her sleeve, sniffling as she did so. “It’s really not,” she mumbled. “I cried over you hundreds...no, thousands of times. You just never bothered to notice that I did.”

Kuroo swallowed. “I...I’m sorry.”

She didn't reply. In all honesty, he didn't expect her to.

 

* * *

 

Yachi was starting to slip in Kageyama’s arms.

He grunted as he led Hinata and Kiyoko out of the premises, only having heard Kenma and Tsukishima’s instructions to retreat after they’d finished rescuing the girls. Although he was initially annoyed that they weren't able to complete their mission, he finally resolved himself to make sure there wouldn't be any more casualties.

He looked behind him, and saw Kiyoko supporting a limping Hinata. The former had her share of injuries—due to the fact that she had been trying to protect Yachi—but the latter had it worse. Hinata was bleeding in several areas, and bruises covered nearly every inch of his skin.

Kageyama’s chest tightened at the sight.

“You okay?” he managed to ask.

Kiyoko managed a weak nod, before pointing to something in front of them. He turned to see the staircase leading to the first floor; their ticket out.

He motioned for Kiyoko to go ahead. “Make sure he’s safe. I’m just going to see if the coast is clear.”

Kiyoko stopped and turned to look at him, Hinata’s arm around her shoulders. “What about Hitoka-chan?” she asked.

Kageyama tightened his grip around the petite blonde’s body. “I’ll make sure nothing happens to her.”

Kiyoko gave Yachi’s unconscious form one last look, before nodding and running towards the staircase.

Kageyama turned back, heading the opposite direction and approaching the end of the corridor. He was about to turn the corner when voices came floating down the hallway on his left. He flattened himself against the wall, heart pounding.

He waited for someone to say something. Anything. He was more than sure that he had heard people talking; or, at least, made their voices known.

Instead, he could hear sobbing.

His entire body, quite literally, froze. It felt like the blood had drained from his head down to his feet, leaving behind a chill that he knew all too well. He’d  _ heard  _ that crying sound before.

Then, it morphed to talking.

“...hurts...it hurts...it’s hurting me…”

Kageyama’s eyes widened.

“Why? Tell me why...why did you have to do this…?”

He inched forward, as far as his conscience would allow, and ever so slowly, peeked around the corridor.

There was no doubt that it was Kuroo who was slumped against the wall, with something that looked like a belt tied around his leg. He was watching—no, he was trying to comfort something in front of him, curled up in a ball on the floor and shivering pathetically.

“It’ll pass,” he was telling it. “It’ll pass, you just need to take the pills—”

“You think I don't know what those pills are for?!” the figure snarled, sounding incredibly feminine. “You did this to me. You knew what would happen if I took them again. And yet you... _ argh! _ ”

_ That voice,  _ Kageyama thought.  _ There’s no mistaking it… _

“I hate you,” she growled. “IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou. God, I want to kill you right now.”

“Please,” Kuroo said, and for the first time, Kageyama thought he sounded  _ scared. _ “Come back to me. You know where you are, you know who you are.”

“I don't,” the figure whispered, her fierce tone now replaced with resignation and fear. “I really don’t.”

“You can fight it; I know you can. You’ve always won against it. We can fix you, I promise—”

“You can't!” she yelled, once again sounding furious and animalistic. “You did this to me!”

When she finally raised her head, Kageyama dropped Yachi.

He managed to catch her at the last second, but his shoes squeaked against the floor at the sudden movement. The noise silenced all the conversations within the vicinity.

Kageyama peeked around the corner once more, and met the eyes he had been both longing and dreading to see; the eyes that had placed hooks deep within his soul, and reeled him in without warning.

The same eyes he loved—now looking at him with nothing but contempt and pure fury.


	11. tokyo skyline

They stayed in one of Fukurodani’s many meeting rooms, either sitting at the huge oak table or staring out of one of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. It was roughly around two in the morning, but the Tokyo skyline could still be seen—as bright as ever, no matter what the hour was.

Kageyama stared at the twinkling lights from the window, wondering how something could remain so bright in the midst of darkness. If he concentrated hard enough, he could hear the hustle and bustle of the city, the animated chatter coming from the civilians, and the music blaring from the speakers on the streets. It was so lively and so full of spirit, that he found it hard to believe that it could coexist with a society— _ his  _ society—and yet manage to stay…well, Tokyo.

He used to think Y/N was the Tokyo of his life. But after recent events, he began to think otherwise.

The way she had fiercely chased him out of Nekoma’s headquarters had left his mind and heart in a jumbled state, both hurt and confusion reigning in his system. There was a fire in her eyes that Kageyama was not used to see; he was used to see a calming warmth. A candle that was supposed to bring light to the holder, not a fire that could bring down an entire building within minutes.

Luckily, he managed to jump into the Everest that Kiyoko was driving with Yachi, and the Karasuno group sped back to Fukurodani's headquarters. He hadn't told anyone yet about the state Y/N was in before she had spotted him; however, considering how busy everyone was, he decided that it could wait.

The only people in the room with him were Asahi, Akaashi, Kenma, and Bokuto. Daichi, Ennoshita, Tanaka, Tsukishima, and Yachi were all in the infirmary. Daichi had the worst injuries of them all—apparently, Kuroo had gone to incredible lengths to take him out and stop Tsukishima from leaving. He was passing out every now and then, and at one point the doctors suggested that he had a severe concussion, much to Sugawara’s horror.

Ennoshita and Tanaka had bruised a few ribs and sprained their ankles, but other than that, they seemed okay. Nishinoya was keeping them company, surprisingly in better shape than the two.

Hinata had dislocated an elbow, and nearly had broken his left shin. But according to him, he was just “tired” and requested the doctor to wake him up after a fifteen-minute nap. Kageyama checked his watch; it had been an hour and a half.

Yachi had been cut in several places—apparently, the members she had been fighting were armed with knives. She had a minor stab wound on her shoulder, but Kageyama shivered at the thought that if it had gone any lower, they would have been one member short. Kiyoko had apparently refused to leave her side.

Tsukishima’s injuries were practically on par, if not, more serious than Daichi’s were. He had broken several ribs, his right knee joint was dislocated, and his jaw had become slightly unhinged. And to top it all off, he was exhausted to the point of passing out, dehydrated, and overall in a bad physical and mental state. Yamaguchi  mentioned how he couldn’t stop muttering Y/N’s name in his sleep, followed by a deep frown or a frustrated sigh.

Kageyama didn't know what to feel about it. In fact, he didn't know what to feel about Y/N’s odd out-of-character behavior, or the fact that the mission had completely failed, or the clear indication that Tsukishima was going to go through hell and back if it meant bringing Y/N home. He was angry and upset about all of them, of course, but once he put enough thought behind everything, he could feel nothing but a headache coming on.

_ It wouldn't have failed if you took charge,  _ Y/N whispered in his ear.

_ No,  _ he thought.  _ It wouldn't have failed if we kept our guard up and figured out something was wrong the minute we entered their headquarters. _

He turned to the window, and for a brief moment, his reflection turned into that of Y/N’s. A chill ran down his spine as he realized that the Y/N in his subconscious now completely resembled the Y/N that had chased him out of Nekoma, screaming bloody murder.

_ But you succeeded when you “bought Hinata some time” in that corridor, right?  _ Y/N asked.  _ You managed to save Kiyoko and Yachi at the last second. _

_ At the expense of Hinata and Yachi’s limits,  _ he retorted.

Y/N seemed to shrug.  _ The ends justify the means,  _ she said.  _ So I’m willing to bet you wouldn't mind setting me free when you need something done. You told me to be useful, after all. _

_ No,  _ he said firmly.  _ Hinata looked so disturbed when I did that. I can't risk hurting my family. _

_ Family… _ Y/N mused.

“Kageyama?”

He blinked, and once again, he was met by his reflection in the window. He turned his head to the source of the voice, which turned out to be Asahi.

“What is it, Asahi-san?” Kageyama replied.

“Bokuto wants to start,” Asahi said, motioning to Fukurodani's Boss, who was talking to Akaashi in low, hushed tones. “We have to call the others.”

“Daichi-san’s still in a critical condition,” Kageyama reminded him.

“Then, we get Suga,” Asahi supplied. “I need answers. We all do.”

Kageyama pursed his lips. “Fair enough. Okay.”

 

* * *

 

They definitely had better days.

Bokuto was unnaturally quiet, as if he was deep in thought about something. Akaashi was sitting next to Kenma, the two talking in hushed tones and poring over several files and folders. Sugawara was deathly silent, his eyes slightly swollen and red. Asahi seemed unable to console him.

Nishinoya, Tanaka, and Ennoshita sat together, the latter two looking shaken, but still composed. Daichi, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kiyoko, and Yachi were absent.

Kageyama had never seen a sight so...broken. And it was all summed up in Sugawara’s expression.

Finally, Akaashi stood up, a single folder clutched in his hands. “I'm sorry to start without Daichi-san,” he said. “But there’s much to discuss.”

None of them complained.

Akaashi held up the folder. “Asahi-san and his group found Kuroo and Y/N’s medical records,” he began. “Kenma-san said that this contains all their information—well, at least, their health information—from birth until now. We’ve taken some points of interest from these papers, and a few of them correlate to what happened tonight. I'll start with Y/N.”

As he opened the folder, Kageyama spoke up, his mouth suddenly dry. “Wait.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“That’s all their information in there, right?” he said. “So...Y/N’s last name should be stated there.”

This piqued the others’ interests, especially Sugawara and Asahi, who shared a look of curiosity.

To Kageyama’s dismay, Akaashi shook his head. “Y/N destroyed all her actual information. She forged her new papers—completely fabricated her story and reinvented who she was.”

“So, what name did she use there?” Nishinoya asked.

“She used Kuroo’s name,” Kenma said, as Akaashi pulled out Y/N’s birth certificate. “She used a different name when she entered university, but she destroyed that record too. I couldn't retrieve it.”

Kageyama’s heart seemed to sink as he stared at the characters that made up Kuroo’s last name right next to Y/N’s own.

“Why is she so insistent on keeping who she really is a secret?” Asahi asked.

“She comes from a top secret, not to mention highly dangerous  _ yakuza, _ ” Akaashi replied. “I imagine she wanted to protect that name, at least. But knowing Y/N, she probably just did it to spite her parents and run away from the role that she was supposed to assume.”

Kageyama tried to imagine it: Y/N, the leader of the Inagawa-kai. A ruthless, cunning, and scheming head, and with Kuroo by her side, both Nekoma and the nation’s third largest  _ yakuza  _ would be a force to be reckoned with. No wonder Kuroo was so adamant to get her back, especially with the plan he had in mind.

“I'll start with Y/N,” Akaashi said. “Besides the whole basic information thing—you guys already know that. Well, the need-to-know points, at least.”

He held up a medical certificate, presumably Y/N’s. “Her records state that she was experiencing some symptoms of bipolar disorder in her teenage years,” he said. “Makes sense, as she spent her entire life changing her lifestyle, her identity, even her existence—she probably lost track somewhere along that road.”

“So that thing that happened in Nekoma,” Nishinoya piped up. “Where she was angry one second, then crying the next...that’s what you mean? Spazzing out completely every now and then?”

“She took medication when we were in university,” Kenma replied. “And she seemed to be in control of herself almost all the time. But there was this tipping point. Something that happened that completely triggered her illness—rather, made her symptoms worse.”

“Which is...?” Tanaka asked.

Akaashi paused. “I think I’d better let Bokuto-san explain this.”

Fukurodani’s Alpha Owl’s head snapped up at the mention of his name, evidently surprised to be called in so early. He leaned forward in his seat, lacing his hands together and glancing at Akaashi for what looked like a plea for support. The Beta Owl nodded encouragingly.

Bokuto sighed, then cleared his throat. “Kuroo and I were buddies back in university,” he began. “I considered him a brother. When Y/N came along, I just rolled with it. They seemed happy living their own fucked-up lives, so I didn't say anything. I couldn't be bothered with them, honestly—I had Fukurodani to think about. I got the group up and running as soon as our Godfather gave me the go signal. But what I didn't know was that Kuroo had assumed the role of Nekoma’s next Boss.

“He was angry at me, apparently. He went through such inconvenient lengths to become the Boss, and because I got help from my father to support Fukurodani, I got off easy. He didn't like that. He thought I was arrogant, and I thought he was starting to get uptight.”

Bokuto began to fidget with his fingers. “We fought. A lot. I was devastated; I thought Kuroo and Y/N of all people would stand by me no matter what. We kept fighting for years; Nekoma and Fukurodani clashed endlessly. But just when our rivalry seemed to have peaked...I got a call from our Godfather.”

“What?” Ennoshita asked. “You...still keep in touch with your Godfather? That’s pretty rare, to be honest.”

“I was surprised, too,” Bokuto agreed. “But then he said he had a job for me. Just me, though. Told me to meet him in Osaka for a few days. When I got there...I found Kuroo and Y/N waiting for me.”

“Huh?” Sugawara frowned.

“Oh man, I was fucking furious,” Bokuto said. “I thought I’d been set up. But apparently, they did, too. We were legit about to kill each other—Kuroo and I had our guns, Y/N had a knife ready—when I kid you not, all of the Godfathers of every possible mafias came to stop us.”

He paused, taking into account all of their surprised faces. “Yes,  _ all _ of them. Including yours—which, at the time, was older Ukai.”

Kageyama couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had a brief recollection of what Y/N mentioned on the night they’d met—that she had met Older Ukai before. He’d never expected that it happened under those circumstances that Bokuto had mentioned.

“They led us to this building, where we were sat down in a room. There, they briefed us on what they called a turning point in all of Japanese mafia history: Project Phoenix.”

“Project...Phoenix?” Asahi repeated.

Bokuto nodded. “At the time, that generation of Godfathers were obsessed with taking over the government. They wanted it to be like the shogunate of whatever year that was. But this time, they wanted to be in charge. They wanted mafia leaders to be the highest-ranking individuals in the country. Seemed to think it was only fitting, as they felt more powerful than the Emperor himself.”

“That’s what Kuroo’s goal is, isn't it?” Ennoshita asked.

“Yeah, I’ll get to that in a while,” Bokuto replied. “But the old geezers don’t have the time nor the energy to take on the entire government. So apparently, they hand-picked a few individuals who they thought would be best suited for the job. It was Kuroo, Y/N, and me.”

Bokuto closed his eyes. “They had reasons for choosing us. Me, because my dad’s one of the Emperor’s advisors. They wanted that advantage—intel from the inside. Y/N, because of her status as Inagawa-kai’s little princess—”

“Don't call her that,” Kageyama growled.

Bokuto narrowed his eyes. “That’s what she was,” he stated plainly. “She hadn’t given up her claim to the role at that time. Simply put, they wanted her skills, intelligence, and affiliation.”

“Well, what about Kuroo?” Tanaka asked. “Kuroo didn’t come from some big mafia or  _ yakuza _ . I don't think he’s related to any government official, either.”

“Well…” Bokuto said. “Kuroo was...a special case. Nekomata-sensei found him extremely reliable. He was obedient, aggressive in getting what he wanted, and practically worshipped the idea of a mafia government. They were yet to find a concrete use for him, but at that time...I guess they wanted to hold onto him just in case. And they were right.”

He paused, before glancing quickly at Akaashi. The latter nodded at him encouragingly, and Bokuto seemed to relax. He took a deep breath before he continued.

“Seijoh’s Godfather and Nekomata-sensei developed a drug. A pretty powerful one, that was meant to enhance speed, strength, defense, and agility. It was pretty much like steroids, only with greater effects and a lot riskier. I said riskier because once ingested, your body will use it up pretty quickly, but it will continually reject it. If that makes any sense.”

“Basically, once someone takes it, they’ll be pretty much invincible,” Kenma clarified. “But their body can't handle that much. It will try anything to flush the drug out of their system—from sweating, to bleeding copiously when they have an open wound, etcetera.”

“It’s extremely painful,” Bokuto added. “When you're on it, but it gets marginally better when you're using it up. However, trying to suppress it without breaking someone in half is a whole new world of pain.”

Akaashi cleared his throat. “I checked a few files relating to that matter,” he said. “Apparently, if the user goes for long without using it in combat or any strenous activity, the body will literally push itself trying to flush it out. This can lead to ridiculous amounts of strength, unbelievable speed, and often bouts of insanity. What’s more is that it’s highly addictive, and the user can go through severe withdrawal if they don't take it regularly.”

“Like I said,” Bokuto grunted. “Painful.”

“How long do the effects last?” Sugawara asked.

Kenma shrugged. “Depends on how fast the user is using it up. But the longer it stays in the bloodstream, the more frantic the body gets.”

“So…” Ennoshita asked. “Bokuto-san...Kuroo...and Y/N...took the drug?”

“Yeah, we did,” Bokuto said, looking both irritated and miserable about it. “We were young and stupid. We thought we were doing the right thing. They told us we were more than capable of taking the Imperial Palace, and that the drugs would greatly help. But as we grew older, we knew they had other motives. And by we...I mean, Y/N and myself.”

Kageyama looked at Bokuto at the mention of her name.

Bokuto tapped his fingers on the table. “They...always had a hard time with Y/N,” he said. “She was the most responsive to the drug, but also the most opposed towards it. There were times that she welcomed it, and there were times where she tried to fight it. I don't know if that’s a thing with her disorder, but regardless, she suffered the most out of us three. All because she refused to listen, and she refused to let the drug turn her into a mindless killing machine.”

Kageyama’s lips nearly turned up into a smile.

“Truth is, Y/N never wanted any of this,” Bokuto continued. “She’s a good person. Smart, kind, and morally sound. But people always found a way to manipulate her. Look at what Kuroo did.”

Silence greeted his words, as no one thought to counter them. None of them wanted violence, nor did they want chaos. They just wanted to exist peacefully—at least, how peace worked in their own particular situations.

“I tried fighting the drug, too,” Bokuto said. “And I was better off, because I had the means to deal with it. Y/N, on the other hand, had to suppress it and her disorder; I was surprised that she hadn't broken down. And at that point, it seemed like the Godfathers could neither control her nor myself. So they turned to Kuroo to finish the mission.”

“Which is what he’s doing now,” Sugawara said quietly.

“And that’s why I told all of you not to fight Y/N,” Kenma said. “She was on that drug. She had no control of herself. She would have killed anyone.”

“But she fought back at the last second,” Tanaka argued. “When Tsukishima was talking to her. She was crying, then started screaming for us to get out. She seemed like she was—”

“—holding back?” Bokuto finished. “She must have regained her senses when she heard Glasses. But the minute she tries to suppress the drug…”

He shuddered, not bothering to finish his sentence.

Kageyama took it all in silently. His mind had put Y/N’s cries of pain in that corridor on repeat.  _ There has to be some way to get rid of the drug in her system,  _ he thought.  _ But how…? I'm not familiar with stuff like this, I’m not a scien— _

His train of thought stopped there, and he widened his eyes as an idea came to him.

“Kuroo also developed something else when he brought Y/N back to Nekoma,” Kenma said. He rummaged around in his bag, and took out a circular plastic container. “It’s another drug, made into paste. It’s a hallucinogen of some sort, meant to warp your perspective reality once you inhale it. My guess? Kuroo used it to convince Y/N that she was on his side.”

“So when you said Kuroo would do anything to keep Y/N from leaving…” Ennoshita said. “...you really meant  _ anything _ , didn't you?”

Kenma nodded solemnly.

“Well, besides that, there’s something else bothering me,” Sugawara said. “Bokuto mentioned that the Godfathers were behind all of this. Kuroo said something about that earlier, as well. Aren't we supposed to go after them, now? We’re going to end up making the same mistake as last time, which was going after the wrong enemy.”

Akaashi shook his head. “That would mean we’d be going up against the Godfathers. They're on a whole new level than us, and fighting them would be a suicide mission. They're not the ones we should be concerned with, and you can thank the current Ukai for that.”

"Ukai Jr.?” Asahi asked. “He’s overseas with Takeda, isn't he?”

“He’s been keeping the other Godfathers at bay,” Akaashi replied. “As soon as he took on the role from his grandfather, he switched things around and tried to stop the others from accomplishing the initial goal. So, thanks to him, we can focus on other things. Like stopping Kuroo.”

“But Ukai slipped up a few times,” Kenma said quietly. “Kuroo requested that Ukai take Y/N in once she left Nekoma. He didn't see through his plan.”

“Kuroo planned for Y/N to go to Karasuno all along, huh,” Tanaka muttered. “That bastard set everything up from the beginning.”

“I tried to get to Y/N first before Kuroo did,” Bokuto said, sharing a look with Akaashi. “We all tried.”

“You mean you tried killing us multiple times,” Nishinoya stated dryly.

Bokuto raised his arms. “After-effects of the drug,” he defended himself. “I can get aggressive.”

Akaashi sighed. “And I get swept up into your antics. You're a bad influence.”

“Akaashi! That’s too much!”

Sugawara managed a wry smile. “Whatever. That’s not important now. What we need right now is for everyone to rest, and as soon as we have the numbers and the means, we have to stop Kuroo.”

“Correct,” Akaashi said. “Fukurodani will join you, of course—”

“Akaashi, aren't  _ I  _ supposed to decide on that?”

“—and we’ll do whatever it takes to stop Nekoma and get Y/N back. By any means necessary.”

“I like the sound of that,” Tanaka said, grinning as he cracked his knuckles.

“Well then, it’s decided,” Bokuto said loudly, before Akaashi could speak up again. “As soon as Daichi’s back up and running, we’ll discuss what to do then. But for now, I’m going to bed. It’s nearly three am, and I don't like staying up this late.”

“Bokuto-san, you’re just scared of the witching hour.”

“ _ Akaashi!  _ No, I’m not!”

 

* * *

 

Kageyama sat, alone in one of Fukurodani’s many quarters.

He was about to settle in when a knock came on his door, and he reluctantly allowed them to come in.

To his surprise, it was Akaashi Keij. His usual bored, rather sleepy expression plastered on his face as he made his way to the window, gazing outside thoughtfully.

“You didn't talk much earlier,” he commented.

“I had nothing to say,” Kageyama mumbled.

“But even so, you looked like you were worried about something,” Akaashi said. “Is it about Kuroo?”

Kageyama blinked, then sighed. “Well...yes and no.

He then proceeded to tell Akaashi about that moment in the corridor, where he heard Y/N switching between moods rapidly, begging for salvation, and how Kuroo seemed to have been scared of her. Once he had finished, Akaashi turned back to the window in silence.

“I...think there’s something wrong with Y/N,” Kageyama said quietly.

“Oh, yes,” Akaashi agreed. “There’s something wrong with everybody. There are just some people who are good at hiding it.”

Kageyama sighed as Akaashi left his spot near the window to pace the room. He watched the Beta Owl as he moved, trying to read the expression on his face.

“Is Bokuto-san like that?” he asked. “Is that the effect of the drug on every user? Or is it only present in Y/N because she keeps on suppressing it?”

Akaashi paused, looking lost in thought. “Bokuto-san has his...fits, I suppose,” he decided. “I think it is an effect, but he’s been gone for so long without it, so I don't think it’s as worse as what you described Y/N having it.”

“How do you deal with it?”

Akaashi smiled crookedly. “I stay with him, of course. I help him through it. People are not perfect. It’s hard for them to love and accept themselves, especially with those flaws present. So it’s up to us to love it for them.”

Kageyama looked up at Akaashi, noting the way he smiled and how he seemed to have put a lot of thought and meaning into his words. He began to piece things together, and arrived at a conclusion that he saw to be quite correct, if the knowing look in Akaashi’s eyes meant anything.

He thought of Y/N— _ his  _ Tokyo, the beautiful, broken skyline of his life. He couldn't imagine the state she was in now. Scared, pained, confused...flawed.

The idea that had occurred to him earlier suddenly sounded appealing. If there was anyone who could understand the world of medicine, drugs, and mental illnesses, he knew that it had to be him. He would be crossing a lot of borders—newly-built ones, given the current situation—and facing his fear and reluctance.

But if it was what it would take to save her, then he decided that he had no one else to turn to.


	12. the devil you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the brief, unnanounced hiatus - been bombarded with a lot of stuff lately. I have no intentions of abandoning this story as I have many ideas in store for it. I hope you'll continue to support this series!

Y/N was having a headache. 

She’d all but isolated herself ever since Karasuno had entered Nekoma, unable to remove the events that transpired out of her head. Well, thankfully, she only remembered fragments, making it easier to deal with.

But she remembered Tsukishima’s hands on her skin, igniting a familiar feeling in her that she had been longing for so long. His touch had reeled her in rapidly, like a fish on a hook, and pulled her back into reality, regaining momentary control of herself. Unfortunately, her system decided to throw a hissy fit when she attempted to stop herself from hurting him, and the effects had left her sore and worn-out for days.

Y/N sighed as she propped herself up on the wall. How could she have forgotten what the drugs looked like? She should have noticed the second the first batch of “painkillers” were brought up to her. But she had been in too much pain and confusion to realize what she was doing, only to figure it out at the very last minute. And the paste...God, she wanted to punch herself in the face. _Of course_ it wasn't for accelerated healing.

But it seemed like becoming aware about what was happening to her only made things worse. She knew the effects of the pills, of course, having taken them for a couple of years. She tried to fight it for so long, knowing she could hurt someone important to her if she kept taking it. All she had earned by doing so were a few days in bed writhing in pain and agony, and a good month or so suffering from a withdrawal that had her begging for mercy from whatever deity that could hear her. To make matters worse, that same year she had gotten pregnant with Akihiro, and she had been _terrified_ that the whole drug ordeal would harm him.

It was only when the kid had been born that Y/N decided to abandon Project Phoenix and focus on the things that needed her attention the most. Unfortunately, it still led her to give her only son away and kept him in the dark for six years.

“Project Phoenix,” she mumbled under her breath. Fitting name, really. Destroying the old government to give birth to a new one. That would eventually destroy the country as well, bringing everything into full circle. She laughed humorlessly, finding the irony of it all hilarious.

A knock came on the door she had placed her back on, and she winced as the sudden noise caused her head to throb painfully.

“Go away,” she groaned.

“Sorry to disturb you, ma’am,” an unfamiliar voice answered. Y/N guessed that whoever it was, it was one of the new recruits. “But it’s urgent.”

“Tell Kuroo that it can wait,” Y/N snapped back. “I’m already in a bad state as it is.”

“I’m really sorry, ma’am. But the Boss wants to see you.”

Y/N sighed exasperatedly, stood up, and locked the door. The last person she wanted to see was Kuroo, and she was going to stick to that statement for real. “You tell Kuroo,” she said, through gritted teeth. “That if he wants to see me, he better be ready to set me free. I'm tired of this.”

And without waiting for a reply, she stalked off to her bedroom, somehow feeling too much and too little at the same time.

 

* * *

 

“...well, this is a nice surprise.” 

Kageyama closed the door behind him, hoping he didn't look as nervous as he felt. This was the last place that he expected himself to be in, and he’d only managed to get there by the skin of his teeth.

Oikawa Tooru leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his tousled hair and throwing a smirk in Kageyama’s direction. To anyone, it might have looked like a pleasant greeting. To Kageyama, however, it looked more like a sneer.

“What brings you here, Tobio-chan?” he asked. “I’m guessing by the state of things, you aren't here for a quick chat and a cup of tea.”

“You betrayed us,” Kageyama said flatly. “You helped Kuroo with his bullets.”

“All for the sake of science and development, nothing more,” Oikawa replied. “You among all people know that Seijoh does not take sides.”

“You helped Kuroo capture an innocent girl,” Kageyama said, his hands starting to shake. “You aided him in developing weapons for his plans. I’m not stupid, Oikawa-san, I know you're supporting his cause.”

“The deal Kuroo and I had was purely business,” Oikawa said, keeping his tone annoyingly calm. “We developed his weapons. But what he does with them, outside our labs, is beyond our control.”

Kageyama fought the urge to roll his eyes. Oikawa always had a fucked-up understanding of how the world worked. His moral compass was one that he’d purposefully manipulated into pointing in the right direction—at least, in whatever direction he _thought_ was the right one.

He didn't try to understand how Oikawa worked. No one ever tried and came back with a straight answer.

He sighed. “Anyway, that’s not what I'm here for. I need…”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow.

Kageyama grumbled as he forced himself to speak. “I need...your help."

“First, you come barging in here accusing me of being an accomplice to an attempted murder,” Oikawa began. “Then, you tell me off for betraying your team knowing that it was just pure business. Now, you want to ask for my help?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Okay. Just checking. What is it?”

Kageyama took a deep breath. “It’s…Y/N. She’s still alive.”

“I know that. Go on.”

Kageyama fought the urge to roll his eyes. _Of course you do._

“And…well…we raided Nekoma’s headquarters a few nights back. And she was there, fighting for Nekoma. Or, at least, we thought she was.”

He continued to relay the night’s events to Oikawa, who listened intently. When he had finished, the latter continued to twiddle with his thumbs, looking quite intrigued about the whole thing.

“You said that there was a moment where she wasn’t herself?” he asked.

Kageyama nodded.

“And a moment where she was?”

He nodded again.

“Heightened strength? Speed? Endurance?”

“Yeah.”

Oikawa sighed. “Well…Kuroo must be _that_ desperate to keep her in Nekoma. From what you’ve told me, I’d say he’s pushing the limits of his own abilities to keep her in check.”

“What do you mean?"

Oikawa stood up, and began pacing the room. “Kuroo is a chemist,” he began. “And a damn good one at that. He’s intellectually and physically adept, plus, he’s on the drug.”

He paused. “You _do_ know about Project Phoenix, right?”

Kageyama nodded.

“If you ask me, he knows that he can’t control Y/N,” Oikawa continued. “So he developed that hallucinogen to trick her into thinking that she’s on their side.”

“But she knows she isn’t,” Kageyama argued. “She’s fighting back, she’s trying to—“

“And,” Oikawa interrupted. “Don’t you think Kuroo has something of hers that’s keeping her from poking a toe out of line?”

Kageyama opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it. He racked his brain, trying to think of the one thing that could be keeping Y/N from escaping. The one thing she couldn’t bear to see taken away from her…the one thing that she would die for…

The one thing…

The one _person_ …

“Akihiro,” he breathed.

Oikawa nodded.

“You…” Kageyama blinked. “How did you…”

“Y/N has her secrets, I have mine,” Oikawa said nonchalantly, pushing his brown locks away from his face and sitting on top of his desk. “I told her a long time ago that hers would come back to bite her in the ass. And they did.”

Kageyama exhaled slowly. So Kuroo was using Akihiro as an excuse to keep Y/N in check. It made sense, as he knew that Y/N would go to great lengths to keep her only son safe, regardless of who his father was.

But the kid could easily be dealt with. It was the drugs that Kageyama was worried about.

“I need to find a way to flush out all of the drugs in Y/N’s system,” he said. “The hallucinogen, the steroids…everything. If she’s clear of those, we can save her.”

Oikawa shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

“Why? What does it require?”

“A whole lot of pain. And a whole lot of sacrifice.”

Kageyama frowned. “…meaning…?”

“Be careful,” Oikawa warned. “You can’t take things like these lightly. Drugs are nasty business, and it’s extremely difficult to flush it out, let alone recover from it. How certain are you that she’ll survive the recuperating process?”

Kageyama hesitated. He hadn’t thought this through.

“There’s a reason why it’s called Project Phoenix,” Oikawa continued. “A reason why it’s unlike any drug out there. There’s only one way to save her, and it’s a method that I’m sure you can’t bring yourself to do.”

“Try me,” Kageyama said angrily.

“A phoenix will burn, and can only be reborn from its own ashes,” Oikawa said. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? To get rid of the substance in her body, she has to burn it all up. And there’s only one quick solution.”

The gears in his head began to turn, processing what Oikawa had just said. And no matter which way they turned, they all came back with the same conclusion—one that made his eyes widen and his jaw drop in shock.

“No,” he said, before he could think about it even further. “No, it’s not going to come to that. I’ll find a way to save her myself.”

Kageyama turned on his heel, and marched towards the door. It seemed like his initial plans needed revisions, and he was beginning to think of alternatives when his old Boss stopped him while his hand was already on the doorknob.

“Whatever you’re planning, don’t even think of doing it alone,” Oikawa said. “You can’t win against Kuroo. And you certainly can’t go up against Y/N by yourself. Her state right now is as bad as it is. She’ll either destroy everything she touches, or she’ll destroy herself in the process. Which one will you stop first?”

Kageyama’s jaw tightened; as did his grip on the doorknob.

“I guess I’ll have to find out soon.”


	13. the goddess and the succubus

Semi Eita had fled the country following Shiratorizawa’s defeat, but somehow, his businesses were still intact. In fact, they seemed to increase in popularity.

The casino was jam-packed, full of high-class businessmen, politicians looking to score allies, and even civilians who were feeling particularly lucky.

Kuroo, along with a handful of Nekoma members, occupied a large booth in one corner of the casino, sitting with a group of Italians that Nekomata had just recently sent. They spoke broken, but quite understandable English—which made Kuroo thank his lucky stars for his half-assed English classes in college.

“This wine,” their leader, Dario, said loudly. “It’s very good, _no_?”

Kuroo cracked a smile. “Glad you like it. An old friend owns this place; shame you couldn’t meet him.”

“Ah, but, we are not interested in meeting anyone else,” Dario said, waving his hand dismissively. “We are interested in meeting you. Mr. Nekomata has always spoken highly of his Boss.”

“Has he?” Kuroo said, rather smugly. _He really must be desperate for sponsors if he resorts to complimenting me,_ he thought with amusement.

“We Italians take the mafia business seriously,” a colleague of Dario’s told him, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“Of course we do. It originated from us!” Dario laughed heartily.

Kuroo grinned, while sharing a glance with Yaku across the booth. The latter raised his eyebrows up and down, hiding the expression behind his glass.

“Now this one, I like,” Dario said, sitting up straighter in his chair. Judging by the haziness in his eyes and his flushed cheeks, Kuroo could already tell that the wine was getting to him.

He followed Dario’s gaze and found himself looking at Y/N, descending the stairs not far from the booth, Haiba Lev at her side.

He smirked as he took all of her in: dressed in a black dress that left little for the imagination, fitting so tightly to her that it almost looked like a second skin. A gray fur shawl was draped across her shoulders, and her hair cascaded in waves framing her face. She was both stunning and lethal; an obsidian knife wrapped in a silver sheath.

Dario and his group weren’t the only ones who’d noticed her—in fact, the entire casino seemed to hold its breath at the sight of her. The men were entranced by her every step; the women seemed unable to decide between their feelings of envy and admiration.

As soon as Y/N and Lev stepped away from the staircase, the former cast her eyes across the room, only to land on Kuroo. Pride swelled in him as Y/N held his gaze for a few seconds, sending a small smirk his way long enough for the men who had seen it whip their heads around to glare at him.

_Such a perfect actress, as always,_ he thought, poorly concealing his pleased smile behind his hand. _Maybe I should make deals with her often._

“ _Una dea_ ,” Dario whispered. “You know that charming woman?”

“That’s the crown jewel of Nekoma,” Kuroo said, grinning smugly. “Gorgeous, isn’t she?”

As soon as Y/N turned his way again, he raised his hand, beckoning her to come over. He saw Dario sitting up straight in his seat, while the others tried their best to look presentable. Yaku looked amused at the sight.

“Ah, I remember now!” another colleague of Dario’s exclaimed. “Is she the famous Black Cat that Mr. Nekomata always talks of?”

“Indeed, she is,” Kuroo said, throwing Y/N a smile as she approached. “Gentlemen, may I introduce Y/N. The Black Cat of Nekoma.”

Y/N met each of their gazes with a glowing look, and Kuroo could literally feel them melt at the sight of her.

“Y/N, these gentlemen have been sent by Nekomata-sensei to aid us in our plans,” Kuroo said. But he momentarily reverted to Japanese, adding, “Do your best.”

Y/N nodded, before smiling once more. “Welcome to Tokyo,” she said, in English.

“In all my travels,” Dario said, puffing his chest out as if it upped his masculinity. “I’ve never seen such beauty before. And I am Italian. I know about beauty.”

“And what is it about beauty, sir?” Y/N said, smoothly sliding into the booth. At the very last second, Kuroo shifted closer to her, making her fall into his lap. The sudden motion made her grip onto his thigh—a silent warning for him not to push it. The action worked, however; Dario’s colleagues seemed to want the same treatment.

“They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” Dario said, looking a little too pleased about the fact that Y/N was addressing him. “Though I’m sure no one would dare to argue with the fact that your beauty is superior in every eye that has the privilege of seeing you.”

Kuroo’s eye twitched. Just moments before, the guy couldn’t even speak a simple statement in English without stuttering or having to search for the right term mid-sentence. Now, he sounded like he had swallowed an entire thesaurus.

“You flatter me, good sir,” Y/N said, leaning against the table and pushing her elbows together. The men on Kuroo’s left were left gaping as Y/N pushed her backside further and further up his lap, and Kuroo decided to play along. Keeping his peripheral vision on their faces, he ran a hand down Y/N’s exposed thigh, trailing it up and down the skin teasingly.

Y/N wanted nothing more than to throw up right then and there. It was bad enough that she had to seduce Dario’s group into wanting to work with Nekoma. But, in exchange, Kuroo had promised her that Akihiro would be allowed to visit her as soon as he had the time.

It was degrading, having to sit in Kuroo’s lap and feeling him grope her to increase her appeal to the other members, as well as being aware of Dario’s eyes never leaving her plunging neckline. It was horrible, having to go through the room with everybody practically eye-fucking her. But she had to endure, so she could see Akihiro.

She’d lost who she was at this point, so really, she had nothing to lose.

“Your Black Cat intrigues me, Kuroo,” Dario said. “Would you mind if I bring her back to Vicenza with me?”

“No can do,” Kuroo replied, leaning forward just as Y/N leaned back into him, his arm encircling her waist. “I’m afraid this is one bargain I can’t make. I’m not the sharing type.”

He looked at Y/N. “Why don’t you enjoy the rest of the party?”

“That, I can do,” she said, standing up, throwing Dario and the others the most seductive smile that she could muster, before strutting away from the scene—making sure they had a view of her exposed back as she did so.

“You are together?” another colleague of Dario’s questioned, his eyes holding a trace of noticeable envy.

Kuroo smiled wryly. “In a sense.”

“ _Una belleza, anzi_ ,” Dario said. “But they say that she’s as good at combat as she is beautiful.”

 “She has it all,” Kuroo agreed.

“You must not let her go!” the businessman on his left insisted.

Kuroo smirked. “I wasn’t planning to.”

 

* * *

 

By the time the clock struck 12, Y/N had turned down at least fifteen requests for her company. There were some who wanted her to grace their casino tables, others who wanted to get a drink at the bar with her, and those who just wanted to be alone with her, preferably in a dark room with no clothes on.

For the first time, it disgusted Y/N to think that this was her life before Karasuno. She had practically drowned herself in sin, killed people off like it was nothing, helped run an illegal mafia business, and had time to fuck Kuroo whenever they felt like it. She surmised that it was precisely because of her time in Karasuno and in Miyagi that she felt an aversion to her past life. She had gotten a taste of what it was like to be loved and surrounded by an actual family, and not once had she felt that she was walking on eggshells whenever she was around them. Not once had she looked at the boys—Daichi, Sugawara, all of them—and had to worry about them taking advantage of her.

She was treated like an actual human being. Like she was Y/N. Not the Black Cat.

But right now, it seemed like she was the latter.

“Having fun?”

Kuroo’s smooth baritone voice nearly startled her, and she crossed her arms tightly. “It’s about as fun as watching paint dry,” she said. “Are you done yet?”

“I am, actually,” he replied, placing a hand on the small of her back and guiding her forward. She knew it was all part of the act, but still, she couldn’t control the involuntary shiver that ran down her spine at his touch.

Unfortunately, he seemed to have noticed. “Really, now! I’m not going to bury a knife into your back, kitten,” he said. “Can’t a guy be nice to his ex-girlfriend?”

“Can’t a guy at least know when it’s time to let her go?” Y/N shot back.

Kuroo raised a finger and waggled it in front of her face. “Tsk, tsk. Careful.”

Although she hated it, she held her tongue.

Meanwhile, Kuroo continued as if nothing ever happened. “Dario and his group said they were interested. They promised both money and weapons, provided that they get to see you often.”

“And by see me, I’m willing to bet all the spaghetti I’ve eaten in my entire life that they mean seeing me in a dress shorter than this,” she said. “Well, you’ve got your sponsor. Now, keep your end of our bargain.”

“Already ahead of you, kitten,” Kuroo replied, holding up his phone. “Alisa and Akihiro will be over by lunch tomorrow. Alisa said she just needs to run some errands before coming here.”

Y/N relaxed; something she hadn’t done for the past few weeks. She knew she had to resolve this, explain everything to Akihiro. Then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t have to worry about hiding her life from him, and it gave herself a sense of hope, no matter how false it may be.

“You’re a lot more reasonable today,” Kuroo said. “Maybe I should make deals with you often.”

She raised an eyebrow. “How much would it take for you to stop Project Phoenix, stop taking over the government, and setting me free?”

“If you let me fuck you in the car later.”

She rolled her eyes. “So help me God, I will skin you alive. Let’s just go.”

“Hold your horses. Yaku’s getting everyone.” Kuroo checked his watch. “He should be rounding everyone up by now.”

“Everyone?” Y/N wrapped her coat around herself as a sudden thought came to her. “Has it not come to your attention that Kenma hasn’t been around for weeks now?”

Kuroo blinked, momentarily looking bothered, as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him. “Ah, but you know Kenma,” he said. “He’s probably out there somewhere. Doing…I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know what Kenma does in his free time.”

“That should probably concern you.”

“Kitten, my only concern is you,” Kuroo said, his arm now snaking around her waist. “I’m supposed to keep you by my side and in check. And I am not letting you go until we’re done with Project Phoenix. We made that promise years ago.”

“Years ago when we were younger and more idealistic,” Y/N pulled herself away from his grip. “You’re okay with this?! You’re okay with being manipulated and made to do what some old men who can barely lift themselves out of bed want?!”

“I’m not being manipulated.”

“Sounds like something someone being manipulated would say.”

“We signed up for this because we knew they were right,” Kuroo said, dropping his voice to a whisper. “We should run this country because we can. Imagine the groups that would flourish under our reign. Imagine people like us before—struggling to get by, hiding behind masks and wigs and rolling the windows up when police cars pass by. We can save them, Y/N. You know we can.”

The look on his face was almost believable—mainly because it was. Kuroo was so dedicated to the cause, and genuinely believed that it would work out. She couldn’t blame him, honestly—if someone who had understood her situation had been in charge before, she probably wouldn’t have gone through the trauma of working in the mafia.

She shook her head. “Bokuto saw right through the Project Phoenix bullshit. I should have believed him before.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“And haven’t you thought about what would happen if you were to take over?” she continued. “Revolts? Uproars? Other mafia and _yakuza_ groups clamoring for the seat of power as well?”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that.”

“And why is that?”

Kuroo’s smile was blinding. “Because I have you, kitten. And nothing ever gets past you.”

 

* * *

 

“You sure you can handle this?”

Alisa scoffed, loading her bags into the car. “Oh, come on. It’s not like she’s going to pounce at me.”

“It can happen,” Kageyama mumbled. He watched Alisa start the car, then peeked in the back to see Akihiro sleeping.

“He’s been anxious,” Alisa said quietly, following Kageyama’s gaze. “It’s the first time that he’ll be seeing her after knowing…”

“Yeah,” he said. “Anyway…you have to try, Alisa.”

“I know. And I’ll see if I can get Lyovochka in the process.” Alisa’s eyes were on him all the while as she spoke, and the way she trained her heterochromic hues on him both unsettled and puzzled him—and he didn’t know why.

“Well…take this, then,” Kageyama mumbled, shrugging off his jacket. “Gonna…you know. Catch a cold.”

Alisa blinked, before a warm, wide smile spread across her face. “Thanks, Tobio,” she said, as she took the jacket from him.

He watched as she pulled it on, and his thoughts wandered to retrieve the memory he had of Y/N wearing it. She had looked so good wearing it…until he had to pull it off her cold, unmoving figure.

Impulsively, he reached out, brushing his fingers against Alisa’s cheek. She looked mildly startled at the action, and so did he; he’d only ever done that for one girl.

Alisa was…refreshing, to say the least. He couldn’t deny the fact that she was absolutely gorgeous, and it was weird to have a girl look at him directly in the eyes instead of craning her head up just to do so. But whenever she did, her mismatched eyes intrigued him, pulling all of his attention towards her. Her hair was a dime shining in the inky void that was the sky, as if the moon had somehow manifested into a silvery curtain that framed her face.

She was kind, selfless, obedient, and although she was slightly naïve, her innocence was what made her…well, her. And Kageyama didn’t want to have to see that innocence taken away from her.

“Take care,” he said, rather gruffly, as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

Alisa cupped his face, running her thumb gently across his cheek, and smiled warmly before climbing into the car.

He stepped away as Alisa rolled up the window, and watched as she drove away, into the darkness.


	14. the descent into hell is easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! trigger warning !!
> 
> (also, I'm back. hehe.)

It was another sleepless night for Y/N.

It was common for her to stay up at ungodly hours, either in bed and staring up at the ceiling, or heading down to the training center for a quick workout. Ever since she'd started the pill, her insomnia had worsened; and what completely sucked was that no matter how hard she tried, she could never get herself to quit it. She found herself wanting more and more, and paired with the hallucinogen that was just as addicting, it was safe to say that sleep was now a stranger to her. The voices in her head were starting to grow louder, and in the silence of the night, kept her awake and plaguing her with nightmares whenever she closed her eyes.

That's why when she woke up in the morning after a half-assed 2-hour nap, her head was already pounding and her entire body seemed to completely shut itself down.

She stood up with a groan, and walked over to the oversized mirror that leaned on the wall near her bed. She stood in front of it, glancing reluctantly at her reflection.

Y/N had never taken much time to look at herself, so moments where she actually stood in front of the mirror and stared were rare and occasional. She never really cared about her physical appearance - no one belongs to a mafia and comes out of a fight looking like a Victoria's Secret model - nor was she concerned about what clothes she was going to wear, or how she was going to style her hair. When you've been in the mafia for so long, the last thing you're ever going to think of is what jeans you should wear for the day.

But this time, she stared. She stared long and hard at herself, taking every inch of her skin and every detail into consideration. She had visibly paled, and her lips were dry and cracked; her hair had lost its luster and slight volume; she had thinned significantly, making the dark circles under her eyes more prominent. She looked gaunt, helpless, and...weak.

She frowned, and watched as her reflection did the same. She raised an eyebrow, then the other. She tilted her head to the side, then raised her hand. Her reflection did the exact same thing.

It was her. The person in the mirror was her, yet, she couldn't quite connect to it. She couldn't make the connection between herself and the figure that stood in front of her. It was like looking at a stranger - a stranger that she didn't want to meet.

"Who are you?" she whispered, her voice cracking and scraping horribly against her throat.

Her reflection did not respond.

A familiar pain flashed through her system, and she momentarily winced before sighing exasperatedly. Like a damn alarm clock, her body was demanding the one thing it craved - the one thing it couldn't get enough of - and there would be hell to pay if she didn't give in.

Y/N turned back to the mirror, and practically glared at herself. A few minutes later, she decided to take it and turn it around to face the wall.

The majority of her morning was spent in the tub, underneath the running shower. She hadn't bothered to remove her clothes, letting the fabrics stick to her skin as she sat in the ceramic bathtub, staring blankly at the wall.

Her body convulsed again, and she growled as she gripped the ends of the tub for support. No, she instructed herself. You are going to meet Aki and Alisa today as yourself. No pills. No Y/N under the influence of drugs. Just you. No matter how ugly it could turn out.

She thought the frigid temperature of the water would help, and it did, for a while. But the pain was persistent; it demanded that it be felt, be endured, be experienced, until she was begging for a respite, only to go through it over and over again.

It was a lot easier to say that she was abstaining from the drugs, than it was to actually do it. Her eyes kept flickering to the medicine cabinet, which she usually opened every morning with trembling hands and hating herself as she downed pill after pill after pill. But it somehow became a part of her daily routine, and felt as if something was missing whenever she went without it.

She wondered how she did it back then. How she was able to break the habit so easily, how she was able to cope. Well, she supposed that it was largely due to the fact that she had secretly made an unlikely bond with Bokuto right under Kuroo's nose in hopes that they could rid themselves of the drug. And while they did, it only fueled Kuroo and Bokuto's already increasing rivalry, and Y/N had to pay a heavy price for going so long without the pill. It was a payment that involved a dangerously close encounter with death, and causing something in her body to shut down. If her musings were correct, it had been precisely because of the drug's side effects that she had gone through that horrible event - when she had lost the twins.

Things were different now. She had no Bokuto to turn to. Her addiction was getting worse, almost to the point that she couldn't stop. Even going for mere hours without it had her shaking with desperation, left her mouth dry, her blood running at an all time high, and her insides wanting to hurl themselves out of her body - kind of what she was feeling now.

At this point, she was more than certain that she was going to d-

A knock suddenly came on the door, startling her. "What?" she called hoarsely.

"It's me," the familiar voice of Lev came.

She relaxed. At least she wouldn't have to be on her toes around the silver-haired lanky hitman.

"Give me a second," she said, before standing up shakily. She turned off the shower, and stepped out of the tub and onto the cold bathroom tiles. She grimaced at her damp appearance and settled for stripping completely, hanging her wet clothes to dry before grabbing a towel to wrap it around herself.

Lev was sitting on her bed, Anne curled up affectionately on his lap, her bushy tail swishing from side to side as he stroked her.

"Well?" Y/N asked dryly, as she walked to her closet. "What does Kuroo want now?"

"He didn't send me, actually," Lev answered. "I just...I wanted to ask something."

Y/N raised an eyebrow as she pulled out a few dry clothes.

"Is it true that my sister's coming over?" he asked. "With, uh..."

Y/N decided to ignore his momentary lapse of uncertainty. "Yeah," she said flatly. "Why?"

"Nothing, I just..." Lev fiddled around with Anne's hair. "I just miss her. I haven't seen her in forever."

She hummed as she pulled her shirt over her head.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing," he continued. "I mean...you know that I joined Nekoma to try and protect her, right?"

Y/N paused.

"But lately, every time she visits, or whenever I stop by her place, and I bring the topic up...she has this look on her face that I can't describe. She's never looked that way before."

She turned to face him, brushing the damp strands of hair away from her face. "Lev, where is this going to?"

"I just...I want her to be safe," Lev confessed. "I want to be able to protect her, like she's done for me my whole life. And I know that trying to keep someone like my sister out of the wrong hands isn't going to require basic needs. But it seems like she's getting distant. Like she's pulling away."

Y/N sat next to him on her bed, Anne immediately crawling into her lap. "Lev..."

"I can't keep her safe if she can't trust me," he whispered. "It would be useless if I joined the mafia to try and protect her of the one thing she's most threatened by is me."

Y/N stared at the Russo-Japanese, his usually bright and cheerful face now gloomy and and miserable-looking. She'd trained him in secret for a little over a year when he'd confessed the reason behind his joining the mafia, wanting to repay Alisa indirectly. She figured that if Lev wanted to protect his sister, he had to climb up the ranks, earn the respect of fellow mafia members, until he was practically at Kuroo's level. At the moment, there was no one at that level except her, so she intended to replace herself with him.

"Lev, your sister loves you," she said. "More than you know. And she's beyond proud of you for everything you've accomplished here."

"Doesn't look like it," Lev mumbled.

A sudden wave of pain hit her once more, causing her to convulse violently. She exhaled sharply, waving a hand dismissively at the sight of Lev's concerned expression.

"People have different ways of expressing that they care for you," she said, trying to hold back the shudders that shook her entire system. "Sometimes we do unspeakable acts in the names of the people that we love."

"You sound like you know how that feels."

Of course I know how that feels, she thought. Of course I know what it's like to keep your true existence hidden from your own kid. What it's like to completely destroy your history and invent a new one to present a different face to save your friends from knowing what you really are. What it's like to feel trapped, knowing that one mistake could cost you the lives of the people that you loved...

She smiled dryly. "The older, the wiser."

"I'm, like, 2 years younger than you," Lev complained, to which Y/N let out a humorless laugh in reply.

"But seriously, though," he said. "Do you...do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

It was so unlike Lev to be so contemplating and deep, that even Y/N couldn't grasp the idea that she was having this conversation with him. It wasn't like Lev was incapable of doing so - he just struck her as a guy who had his priorities set as soon as he sees them, like a Boy Scout whose moral compass always seemed to point north.

She laid her head on his shoulder, and he let his chin rest on top of her hair. It was the most comforting gesture she'd experienced yet, like a craving for comfort had finally been satisfied.

"We don't really know if what we're doing is right," she said quietly. "At least, I'm not so sure. But I do know that there's another way for everything."

"Another way for everything..." he mused.

The door suddenly barged open, causing Lev and Y/N to jump apart. Anne sprung from Y/N's lap, hissing in annoyance.

The sudden intrusion caused another wave of pain to flash through her body, causing her head to pound and her body to twist bizzarely. She ground her teeth, looking up at the intruder with watery eyes.

"Good, you're awake," she could faintly hear Kuroo's voice. "Lev, I didn't know you were here."

"I invited him in," Y/N hissed. "And could you fucking knock next time?"

"Thought you might be having fun without me, kitten," Kuroo said, in a mockingly playful tone as he leaned on the nearest wall. His eyes, however, said otherwise, as they focused on the close proximity between Y/N and Lev.

Y/N noticed this, and forced herself to stand despite the pain racking her body. She didn't want Lev taking the full force of the wrath that was to come. "Lev, why don't you head downstairs?" she suggested. "I'll meet you there in a while."

Lev nodded mutely, seemingly lost in thought, and made his way out of her room. Then, as if her naïve self had momentarily taken over, she moved to follow, mistakenly thinking that she could get away from Kuroo.

Her breath escaped her lips in a huff as she felt his hand wrap around her wrist.

"Did Lev say anything to you?" he asked.

"Only that he missed his sister."

His grip on her tightened, and she whirled around, bringing her free hand down on his with overwhelming force in response. Unfortunately, it only served to encourage him even more.

"Let me go," she snarled.

"So Lev can come waltzing into your room and have you welcome him?" Kuroo snapped, his eyes blazing with fury. "Haiba Lev? Who's weighed you down and annoyed you for years?"

"Get a hold of yourself!" Y/N wrestled her wrist out of his grip, and the sudden rush of adrenaline seemed to excite her; seemingly alleviating her pain and triggering what little amounts of the drug she had left in her system.

"Lev's not the one who's trying to save you," Kuroo argued, as he followed her around. "He's not good for you."

"And who's good for me? You?" Y/N scoffed. "Fucking hell, Kuroo. You think you could just barge in here and make assumptions that aren't true and out of place, considering you're not in any position to tell me what to do and who to be with! Are you fucking crazy?!"

It happened so quickly, that if Y/N had blinked, she would have missed it.

Kuroo's fist came flying into the wall next to her, and even though she was able to dodge at the last minute, she could still feel the force of the blow push back some strands of her hair away from her face. His fist made an indent in the wall, and actually broke the concrete in a few places, letting the debris fall to the floor.

It was the first time that Y/N had seen Kuroo so unbelievably angry. "Furious" couldn't even begin to describe it; when she looked at him, she actually began to cower in fear, feeling as if he could tear her apart with a single look alone. The terror on her face was genuine and not forced; all comprehensible thought had been erased from her mind.

"You don't get to belittle this," he growled, low and menacing, and she shivered as she felt his voice travel into her body and shook her very bones. "I'm making ends meet to save our kind and save you, and you have the audacity to call me out on my bullshit. You'd think someone with a decent brain would know when it's polite to say "thank you"."

"I'm not going to thank you for nearly killing me, kidnapping, manipulating, and drugging me," she whispered, some of her control coming back to her. "You can play all you want, Kuroo. But you're never going to win me over."

"You really want to go there?"

His eyes were blazing balls of pure rage, that Y/N could have sworn that there were two miniature suns in them. But aside from anger, she could see something else - something else that ignited as he gazed upon her, taking in the sight of her practically gasping from the intensity of the situation, and the way she looked up at him while pinned against the wall.

It was a familiar look, this time. It was a look that a lion gives his prey before devouring them, in the sense that it wasn't the kill he was primarily seeking. It was the thrill, the rush of excitement that came from capturing it, from drawing blood, from bruising and breaking it inside out.

As soon as the terror sank in, another emotion filled her - dread. She blinked, and before she knew it, his lips were on hers.

The reality of the situation kicked her senses into overdrive, and she pushed him away. But mere inches of separation only annoyed him even more, and intensified his search for her lips, for her touch.

"Kuroo," she growled, as his mouth moved from hers to her neck, biting and nipping and doing things that were anything but welcome. "Kuroo, stop. I mean it. Get off!"

He didn't answer, and only dug his teeth into a spot that he'd somehow remembered up until now. It was unholy, the way the surprise moan was torn from her lips, and how she could see stars from the sensation of him drawing blue and black constellations onto her neck. His hands gripped her waist, pinning her to the wall so tightly, she felt as if they would barrel into the next room at any second. It was painful, to say the least.

"Stop!" she cried out, clawing and pushing him away in vain. "Kuroo, stop it!"

"If you can get through this and feel nothing at all," he finally growled. "I'll let you go."

"What?" her breathless reply faded abruptly as she felt his hands travel to the collar of her shirt, and in one swift movement, he tore the fabric open.

Oh no. No, no, no, no...

"No, Kuroo, stop," she begged, the desperation in her voice seeping in. "Please, no, you can't..."

Her cries went by unnoticed, as Kuroo seized her and practically threw her onto her bed. She was sure to have bruises everywhere by tomorrow, but the sight of him straddling her, pinning her down in place was her main concern. The pain was gone, though - she must have triggered the drugs in her system somehow.

"Kuroo, stop, please, I said no!"

She held back a sob as she felt him tear her shorts apart as well, yanking her underwear down. There had been many times where she had been exposed to him like this, but never instances where it was unwelcomed or unexpected.

Her body, however, had other ideas.

As soon as she felt his tongue connect with her heat, the painfully familiar sensation seemed to trigger a series of memories that she had purposefully locked away. His touch, his kisses, the way he was in bed...it all came rushing back to her, and her body responded in tune.

Of their own accord, her hands lashed out to tangle themselves into Kuroo's hair, as she arched her back. His tongue was brutal and dictating, like it had always been before, occasionally stopping to suck at her clit and even take it in between his teeth.

Y/N groaned as a wave of pleasure flowed through her, more intense than ever. She peered down, and was met by his hungry gaze. He put on a show by dragging his tongue from her heat up to her clit, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Ah, ah, please..." The pleasure was overwhelming, it nearly rendered her speechless.

She was so close to the edge, she could practically taste it. But he pulled away in time, practically smirking down at her flushed, confused face.

Y/N could have made a run for it right then and there, as she heard him strip off his clothes. But his powerful thighs had locked her in place, and the tingling promise of a mind-blowing orgasm had her secretly wanting for more...

"I remember you told me before..." Kuroo said, stroking his cock as he spoke. "That you were never going to want anyone else after me."

He then hovered over her, propping himself on one hand and the other positioning himself in front of her entrance.

"I'm going to make sure you stick to that."

He pushed into her without warning, the abrupt intrusion causing her to wail as her walls struggled to accomodate him. She could taste her own tears and her own blood that stemmed from biting down on her lip too much - she'd never felt agony like this before.

"Stop," she demanded weakly.

"I'll stop when you say this doesn't feel good to you," he answered. "When you tell me honestly that this doesn't make you remember who we were back then. Who I was to you...and who you were to me."

Y/N closed her eyes; the tears falling thick and fast. Her body betrayed her in the form of uncontrollable moans that spilled from her mouth as he began to move, setting a pace that was both punishing and steady at the same time.

Maybe he's right, a small voice whispered to her. You'd never really wanted anyone the way you wanted him. He understands you better than anyone.

She seized the back of his neck, groaning as he hit a particularly sensitive spot in her and digging her nails into his back.

He was the first to break down your walls. He was the first person you'd let in. He knows you, maybe even better than you know yourself. No matter what you do, there would be always be something tying you to him.

He gripped her hips harshly, snapping his hips into hers with animalistic speed. The fact that she was practically allowing him to do this disgusted her, but at the same time, she couldn't pull away.

So she let herself cry. Cry for the things she had lost; for the last of her dignity that had been thriving within her, giving her hope.

She came with a choked sob, feeling herself twist and arch into him, the sight of her sending him into a fit of ecstasy as well. As soon as they finished, and Kuroo had pulled out, Y/N rolled out of her bed, sobbing uncontrollably.

She knew that Kuroo would always be someone she couldn't get enough of - after all, first loves die hard. He had been her first proper everything, and as much as she wanted to deny, he was the father of her child. A child that she cherished beyond her own life. No matter how hard Y/N tried to erase Kuroo from her life, she would always be back here. Reminded of the way he made her feel, and crying over the pain he'd dealt upon her.

She cried because she knew that she would always love him - maybe not in the same way she loved Tsukishima or Kageyama, but she loved him all the same. And she loved the one thing that was slowly killing her.

No drug could ever compare to Kuroo Tetsurou.

"Alisa and Akihiro will come in the afternoon," she could hear him say. "I suggest you freshen up before they're here."

Y/N wanted to attack him. Throw a book, a pillow, hell, even the damn cat. But she was too stunned and too dazed to even pull away from the kiss that he had placed upon her forehead - the gentle gesture a stark contrast compared to the way he had fucked her senseless just minutes ago.

But he was gone again. And Y/N hated the way she yearned for more.

 

* * *

 

She woke up a few hours later, completely sore and still exhausted from their previous activities. There were instances when Kuroo had his way with her before - sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad one - but there had never come a time when Y/N had been reduced to tears afterwards.

He was gone. The Kuroo she had known was gone and was never coming back. That alone, she was certain of. Whoever had replaced him was this empty shell of a man, void of all emotion and whose moral compass had completely fallen apart.

She should have seen it coming. Now, she had no means of escaping. At this point, she was as good as dead.

She managed a small smile. Well, she thought. It's not the first time I've walked straight into death.

But as she felt herself fall into another series of convulsions, she began to wonder if this was the real scenario - if this was a drop into the void that she could no longer come out of.

 

* * *

 

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Alisa said, crossing her arms firmly.

"Look, I made a deal with Y/N," Kuroo replied. "And I keep my promises. She wants to see Aki."

"And she has every right to," Alisa said. "But the state you've put her in could hurt him. How would you like it if you see your mother suffering and in pain?"

"Thanks for the concern," Kuroo shot back. "But I'm just here to keep my end of the deal. If you're really concerned about her, just go and let her see him."

Alisa rolled her eyes as Kuroo turned his back on her. "You act as if you've forgotten the reason why she's even here. As if you weren't the one who's brought her back to her old vices. She was far happier with Karasuno, with Tsukishi--"

"Tsukishima?" Kuroo's catlike grin looked unhinged. "Or Kageyama?"

Alisa closed her mouth.

"Hmm," Kuroo strode over to stand directly in front of her, practically smelling the nervousness rolling off her skin despite her brave face. "Last I checked, she took the bullet for Kageyama Tobio, not Tsukishima Kei. If that's not love, I don't know what is."

"She was engaged to Tsukishima," Alisa retorted.

"That was short-lived, wasn't it?"

"She went to Ushijima to avenge him."

"In the end, she chose Kageyama. Didn't she?"

"Look, the point is--"

"The point is, Alisa," Kuroo interrupted. "You're denying the truth and hiding behind visible evidences. I'm not an idiot, I know when Y/N's fallen for someone. And that someone is Karasuno's top sniper.

"He's right for her in all the ways that you can mention. But he'll subject her to a life of stagnancy, something that's not fitting for someone like her. If he's that monotonous and unchanging, how is he going to be able to handle the way she changes her mind each day? The way she switches from happy to sad, from being too open to other people to completely shutting them out, from being selfish to being selfless?

"Cases like hers aren't going to be solved by attempting to fix them. She can't be controlled. It's something that needs something to feed off of, and it can be harnessed for a specific purpose. Those demons battling inside her are destructive; might as well use it to your advantage."

Alisa shook her head. "Filling a glass up to the brim isn't going to solve the issue of an empty cup. You're going to break her."

"Oh, she's not very fragile, I assure you. But even if worse comes to worse...well, let's just say it'll be a surprise."

He brushed a stray lock of hair away from Alisa's face. "But going back to the topic. You know Y/N's into Kageyama. But why do you keep denying it?"

"It's none of your business," Alisa promptly replied. "And why are you so interested, anyway? I thought you said you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. And now I know why.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“And neither is it about me,” she replied. “But you can’t ask me about what interests me when your own are pretty horrible, to be honest. You couldn’t have Y/N, so you went for me instead—“

The door suddenly opened, and it came as a shock to Lev to see his sister and his Boss standing too closely, wearing similar expressions of surprise. Akihiro peeked out from behind his long legs.

“Sorry,” Lev said, though he was frowning. “I, uh…saw Akihiro in the training center with Yamamoto and figured you guys were already here.”

“With Yamamoto?” Kuroo repeated as Alisa beckoned Akihiro forward. “Why?”

“Dunno,” Lev said sullenly, watching as his sister crouched to meet the kid at his eye level.

Alisa smiled as she took Akihiro’s hand. “Ready to go see Y/N?”

Akihiro merely nodded, and she stood, leading him out of the room. As she passed, she made eye contact with her brother, and with a miniscule shake of her head, motioned for him to follow.

 

* * *

 

There were times in Y/N’s life when she felt as if everything had slowed down.

The minute the door opened, revealing the Haiba siblings as well as a little figure standing timidly by their ridiculously long leg, it was as if the universe had held its breath, the seconds dragging by as if they had been dipped in molasses.

They decided to give them a minute together, with Alisa promising the two to call if they needed anything. Y/N had shuffled out of bed, trying to hide the pain as best as she could.

Kuroo Akihiro was the spitting image of his father. The hair, the color of his eyes; everything about him practically screamed Kuroo Tetsurou, and he had inherited nearly nothing from Y/N – except, perhaps, his lean build and his odd personality.

He got along with many kids, but ultimately, he was alone. Teachers constantly remarked that he seemed too advanced for his age, and Y/N had to agree – Akihiro always seemed lost in thought, searching for something he couldn’t quite pinpoint, like a puzzle that he was unable to solve. Combined with the fact that his whole life, he had to believe that his parents had left him behind, creating his image in the likeness of a tragic hero.

Y/N could relate to that. Having an entire past carved out of your life did things to you that could ruin your personality. But she did that to herself. Akihiro was completely innocent, and yet, his life had been built on lies that he himself thought were truths. And her heart ached at the fact that she was the one ultimately responsible for that, no matter how many excuses she could make up.

Anne bounded over to him, sniffing his feet daintily. Apparently, she could sense that the kid was a combination of her two masters, which, to a certain extent, made him one of hers as well. She let out a quiet _meow_ and let him pass.

Akihiro wasn’t quite sure what he was looking at. It was Y/N—the same Y/N who brought him to school on certain days, baked him his birthday cake every year, and bought him the books that he constantly lost himself in. For years, he thought that it was under the guise that she was just being his legal guardian. Now, he knew that she had actually been fulfilling her duties - her duties as a mother.

But that wasn’t the Y/N he was seeing now. She looked gaunt, pale, and quite frankly, terrified—as if Akihiro had manifested into her worst fear. The sickly state that she was in made him almost uncomfortable. He wondered that if he reached out to touch her, she might crumble right in front of his eyes.

Neither of them spoke. It wasn’t until Y/N grasped her head as her ears were filled with a deafening noise, causing her to hunch forward and gasp for air. Alarmed, Akihiro rushed forward, grasping his mother— _God,_ that still sounded so weird to him—and pushing her upright.

“Sorry,” she muttered, as she tried to pull herself together.

“Alisa-neechan said you were sick,” he said, as he helped her sit down on the edge of her bed. “Are you alright?”

Y/N smiled for the first time in months, and she literally felt her lips crack at the movement. She reached out to caress Akihiro’s cheek. “I’m supposed to be looking out for you,” she whispered. “Not the other way around.”

“Is it true, then?” Akihiro blurted out. “That you’re my mom? My real mom?”

Y/N blinked, surprised that this topic had come up so early. But as she gazed into Akihiro’s pleading expression, she found herself unable to dodge the question. “Yes,” she admitted. “Yes, Aki. I’m your mother.”

“And Kuroo’s my dad.”

She nodded.

Though Akihiro knew this, it still felt weird to even think about it. They had gone to such inconvenient lengths, stating things like Kuroo’s brother – which Akihiro now knew was inexistent – was his father, and that he and his mother had died in some freak accident. They even went as far as declaring themselves his legal guardians, which he thought was unnecessary as they were, after all, his biological parents. He couldn’t figure out why. Perhaps it was because they didn’t want him…?

The thought made him angry.

Apparently, it had manifested on his face, because Y/N’s expression shifted into that of panic. “Before anything else,” she said quickly. “Let me explain.”

She grabbed his hands, which felt to Akihiro like they had been thrust into a bowl of icy water. “I wanted to protect you. The world that Kuroo and I live in was no place for a child. From the minute you were born I resolved myself to keep you away from our careers – from our lifestyles. I wanted to give you a chance at a better life, Aki. So we hid from you everything that made us who we are, and asked Alisa – who was far suited to bring you up – to take care of you until you were old enough to understand. I was going to tell you someday, Aki. But I never expected that “someday” would mean “now”.”

Akihiro shook his head, trying to process her words. “What are you talking about? What do you do?”

Y/N took a deep breath that seemed to rattle her bones with the effort it took her to do so. She looked at Akihiro seriously. “I’m a mafia member,” she began. “I have been my whole life. I was born into one, and I still am one. When Kuroo and I graduated university, he set up all of this – all of Nekoma. I transferred to Karasuno a few years back. Everyone in your life: Kuroo, myself, Lev, Alisa – are either members of the mafia or just associated with one. It’s a dangerous life, Aki. You never know if you come back alive after a mission.”

“So…it’s just like in the movies? The bad guys with the guns?”

“Yes,” she confessed. “We’re not…bad, per se. But we have motives. We have goals, objectives. And sometimes…sometimes, we have to achieve those goals through violent means. It’s not the prettiest job, but…it’s the life I’ve always known.”

She brushed his unruly hair out of his eyes. “I hope this doesn’t change your perspective of the people that you know,” she said. “Especially not Alisa. She’s just Lev’s sister. She loves and cares for you. We all do.”

“I don’t care about what you do,” Akihiro replied. “It doesn’t matter whether you kill people or you don’t…I just don’t understand why you had to lie to me.”

Y/N’s heart broke for the umpteenth time.

“A lot of people don’t like Nekoma,” she explained. “So they’re going to try and take every opportunity to destroy us. They could use you, Aki – if they know that you’re my son, that you’re the Boss’ son, they could threaten us by using you. And I’ll die first before letting anyone hurt you.”

Akihiro shook his head again. “I still don’t understand…when were you going to tell me? How old did I have to be? You hid so much from me, took an entire life from me…you made me believe that I was alone in this world!”

The tears began brimming in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Aki, I’m sorry. I was trying to protect you—“

“By lying to me,” Akihiro’s voice cracked as he pulled his hands away from her. “You abandoned me. You and Kuroo. When all the other kids went home with their parents, I walked back to Alisa’s apartment alone. When it was “Bring Your Parent to School” day, I brought Alisa. I was missing out on the life of a normal kid, and now I realize that it’s been standing in front of me all this time!”

He angrily wiped at his eyes. “Did you even want me? Huh? What was wrong with me?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Y/N said weakly. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Why did you have me, then? Was I even planned?”

When Y/N didn’t answer, he pressed once more. “Was I?!”

She sniffled, before looking up at him with red eyes. “No,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “No, we didn’t.”

Akihiro ran a hand through his hair. “Okay,” he said, sounding both angry and sad at the same time. “So I shouldn’t be here.”

At this, Y/N broke down, reaching for him to no avail. “No, it isn’t like that—“

“My dad, a murderer,” he said, almost to himself. “And my mom…a liar.”

The room spun at Akihiro’s words, and Y/N could have passed out from the pain that struck her chest. She could barely see him run out of the room, and she stood up, intent on pursuing him despite the way her body was protesting.

She made it outside her door, where Alisa was standing in the corridor, arm stretched out, possibly when she had attempted to stop Akihiro.

She turned around, and gasped a little when she saw Y/N.

“Where is he?” Y/N demanded, before Alisa could speak.

“He ran off, and Lyovochka went after him,” Alisa replied. “Y/N, God, you look so…”

“I know,” she said dully.

Alisa leaned forward, as if she was about to touch Y/N’s hand, but decided against it. She settled for crossing her arms under her jacket. “What did Akihiro say?”

Y/N shook her head and wiped her eyes. “He called me a liar.”

Alisa gasped.

“He’s right, though,” she continued. “It’s my fault. I should have just been honest with him from the start. But what could I have done? The more he knows about who he is – the heir of not just one, but _two_ mafias – the more that people will start to target him. I did the best I could back then. Now, I’m not even sure if that was the right move.”

“You did everything you could,” Alisa whispered.

“And everything led to this.” Y/N waved her hand around. “He’s seven, Alisa. He shouldn’t be this worked up about something. The only things that he should worry about are his homework, his friends, maybe a girl. Not wrestling with realities that completely counter his own. Even adults can’t come to terms with things like that.”

Alisa couldn’t even find it in herself to reply. Y/N couldn’t blame her.

“You should go,” she said. “I don’t care if he cuts me out of his life. If completely disowning me gives him a better chance at living a normal life, then I’ll take it. Just…make sure he’s safe.”

“Y/N, don’t say that,” a shocked Alisa said.

“You’ve always been better than this than I have,” Y/N continued. “You’re Aki’s real mother, not me. Make sure you own that title.”

Alisa searched Y/N’s face for any signs of bluffing. But she found none; instead, she found defeat and slight acceptance – acceptance of the fact that she had once again lost something dear to her.

Her response was a slight nod – after all, what could she say? It seemed like Y/N had completely given up.

_Tobio,_ she thought. _I’m sorry._

But as Alisa turned away, she had barely taken two steps forward when something stopped her.

She turned back, only to see Y/N holding on to something with a dumbfounded expression, as if something had just occurred to her.

“Y/N?” Alisa asked, confused until she looked down at what she was tugging at.

Her jacket. No… _Kageyama’s_ jacket.

The thought had come crashing into Y/N’s brain as soon as she caught the sight of the fabric as Alisa turned around. Instinctively, she had reached out and grabbed it, and the texture of the jacket triggered a series of flashbacks, as if she had suddenly been electrocuted.

 

_A moonlit evening. A warm chest._

_Slow-dancing to a song during the wee hours of the morning._

_Fighting side-by-side, trusting each other._

 

Her eyes widened, and as she blinked, memories began crashing in once more.

 

_Standing too closely to each other in the morning in a kitchen._

_Waking up to his face, being filled with a sudden sense of comfort._

_A dingy hotel room, holding each other, kissing as if every breath was their last…_

She could faintly hear Alisa’s voice, but that was lost under another round of flashbacks. This time, they were anything but pleasant.

 

_Wearing the same jacket the night she had bled out in his arms._

_Seeing his face in the darkness, filling her with unexplainable rage…_

_And pointing a gun at the face that she once loved…_

A lone tear rolled down her cheek as she tried to process what had happened.

She had forgotten. For weeks – months, even – she had forgotten him. The one person that she had anchored herself to, the one person that she realized she couldn’t live without, the person she loved…

…whose jacket was wrapped around the shoulders of another girl…

She blinked again, staring at her environment in shock. The tears were falling thick and fast.

Her hand clapped over her mouth of its own accord, and she burst back into her room, ignoring Alisa’s concerned calls. Y/N made her way to the bathroom, where she leaned over the toilet and let her stomach turn itself inside out.

The trouble was, she had barely eaten that day, so she was essentially throwing nothing up, making the entire process painful. She sat there, her head spinning as her body tried in vain to expel the drugs that were in her system, hating her life as she did so. After the third or fourth attempt, however, she slowly slid to the side, her head hitting painfully against the cold tiles of the bathroom. Mercifully, though, she had passed out long before she could register the pain.


	15. dear old friends

Bokuto tossed his phone onto the tabletop, and it slid to a stop in the middle of Akaashi, Daichi, and Tsukishima’s conversation. “I just heard from Dad,” he said. “You’re not gonna like it.”

“What happened?” Daichi asked.

Bokuto pointed to a nearby calendar. “Kuroo’s getting ready to make his move,” he replied. “As far as the government knows, it’ll be less than a month before Nekoma invades the Imperial Palace.”

“Then if the government knows, then surely they can take precautionary measures,” Tsukishima offered. “They can order immediate evacuations. They can send the Emperor and the royal family to safety.”

Akaashi shook his head. “That’s not going to be easy. The last thing the government needs is the masses panicking and growing suspicions. The more divided people become, the easier Kuroo’s work gets.”

“So what are they going to do? Sit around and twiddle their thumbs until Nekoma arrives?” Daichi asked.

Bokuto sighed. “The Emperor’s always been a pacifist. He believes in peace more than he believes in the monarchy of Japan itself. If it were entirely up to him, he’d try to talk Kuroo out of it. But we all know that it’s not going to end in his favor. The government is going to do their part; they’re going to keep the Imperial Palace intact and safe. The rest is up to us.” 

“Up to us?” Tsukishima snorted. “Have you seen the size of Kuroo’s army? And who’s to say he hasn’t gotten more over the past few months?”

“Told you, you wouldn’t like it,” Bokuto said glumly. “Dad’s point being that if we were to be the ones to take care of the issue, it would look like a squabble between two groups, and not an attempt to destroy the system. That, at least, would save us from having to quell the unrest within the civilians. Things like these happen all the time, and they wouldn’t question it.”

“So they’re just going to throw us under the bus? Is that it?” Tsukishima scoffed. Akaashi sent him a warning glance.

“But at least something good came out of this shitty situation,” Bokuto said. “Dad’s got an intel from Nekoma.”

Nearly every pair of eyebrows in the room shot up. “A double agent?” Daichi said incredulously. “How?”

“They’d somehow gotten hold of the palace,” Bokuto replied. “Happened yesterday, apparently. That’s where Dad and the others got their information.”

“Wait a minute,” Akaashi interrupted. “How are we supposed to know that this isn’t a trick? That someone’s deliberately sending us false information to throw us off the scent? For all we know, Kuroo could attack tomorrow while we’re taking an entire month to prepare for it.”

Bokuto shrugged. “That’s what Dad won’t tell me. Whoever this person is, they’ve decided to trust them. And my dad doesn’t trust just anyone.”

Tsukishima and Daichi exchanged a glance, and the latter could see a brief glimpse of hope shimmering in the former’s eyes.

_It’s her,_ Tsukishima thought. _It might be her._

And for the rest of the meeting, he was filled with enough determination to get phase 1 of the entire event planned down to a t.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama was making his way down the hall, walking briskly towards the room that he and Hinata were temporarily occupying in Fukurodani’s headquarters. He clutched the envelope in his hand, eventually tucking it into a random book he’d seen lying around. He’d been so tense lately, knowing what he was doing was not exactly going to be a walk in the park.

As he turned the corner, he was met with the sight of Tsukishima coming down the same corridor. His pulse raced, and he hid the book out of sight.

Kageyama had to admit, Tsukishima had changed in the past few weeks – no, months now, since Karasuno had temporarily moved to Fukurodani, and ever since they’d infiltrated Nekoma. He thought the sight of Y/N – twisted, mad, suffering, and ultimately, turned into a bloodthirsty weapon would dampen the blonde hitman. It seemed, however, that it only drove him to work harder to save her. It was evident in the way he stood and walked; during the days that everyone had thought that she’d died, he was constantly slouching and dragging his feet, as if it hurt him to simply exist without her.

But now, Kageyama could see the difference. He stood a little taller, walked a little faster, and had a different air about him. He looked – dare he say it – hopeful.

Perhaps he’d been observing him for too long, as when the two approached, Tsukishima raised an eyebrow. “Got something to say, big guy?”

Kageyama shook his head, a little too quickly. Tsukishima tilted his head, before nodding towards the book in his hand. “Didn’t take you for a Shakespeare guy.”

“Oh.” Kageyama looked at it, frowning at the cover of _Romeo and Juliet_. “I, uh…got bored.”

“Mhmm.” Tsukishima didn’t look convinced. “Listen…we’re going to head out soon, launch an operation against Nekoma.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama said, straightening a bit. “Yeah, okay.”

“And I’m getting Y/N back. Whatever the cost.”

Kageyama tried to ignore his use of the individualistic pronoun. “That’s…kind of why we’re here, isn’t it?”

“Well, of course,” Tsukishima agreed, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “But it’s different now. I’m getting her back and we’re leaving Karasuno. For good.”

Kageyama’s heart dropped into his stomach. The room began to spin, and he forced himself to swallow before weakly uttering, “What do you mean?”

“It means exactly what I mean,” Tsukishima replied. “We’re retiring once I get her back. And we’ll go somewhere else.”

“What about Aki?”

Tsukishima inhaled sharply through his teeth. “He can come too, if he likes.”

“You’re crazy,” Kageyama muttered, both his heart and imagination running wild. If Karasuno managed to defeat Nekoma, get Y/N back, and help her regain her strength, it would be Tsukishima’s chance to start over again. And with his growing acceptance of Akihiro’s existence, there was no chance that Y/N could say no to his offer.

_He could finally ask her to marry him,_ he thought in a daze. _She would say yes…they’ll get married, they have Aki, and they’d leave Miyagi to start a new family…a new life…_

A life that he would no longer be a part of…

“You can’t do that,” he said, almost to himself.

“I know it’s going to take her time to recover,” Tsukishima said. “But I can’t risk losing her again. I can’t live without her. You know that.”

“See, that’s just the thing,” Kageyama’s voice shook, and so did his hands. “You know I can’t live without her either.”

There was a charged silence between the two, occasionally disrupted by Kageyama’s shaky breaths. _He can’t take her away,_ he thought. _She won’t let him decide for her. She’ll stay. She needs to…I need to…_

“I know,” Tsukishima said quietly.

“I love her.”

“I know.”

Kageyama wanted to send his fist into the wall. Tsukishima’s calmness irked him to no end. “Then why would you keep her away? I’m not the only one who needs her, you know. What about Kiyoko-san? Yachi-san? Daichi-san?”

“They’ll understand,” the blonde replied. “She’s been through enough. _I’ve_ been through enough.”

“And what if she refuses?” Kageyama threatened. “You and I know very well she hates it when somebody makes her decisions for her.”

Tsukishima raised his hands, and let them drop. “She’s always been free to do what she wants. This time, I’m making sure that whatever she wants, I’ll be a part of it. I want her safe, and I want to be with her.”

Kageyama’s anger flared, and he stepped closer to the blonde. “What if I’m the one she wants?” he challenged. “I don’t get you. You gave up when you thought she was dead. _I_ didn’t. It was _me_ who kept thinking of her every single day after that night in Tokyo. It was _me_ who saw her get shot, who saw her take the bullet for me, it was in _my arms_ that she had died in. You gave up and simply accepted that she was gone. Now, you’re trying to force her back to you? Get her to do what _you_ want?!”

“Yes.” Tsukishima’s voice was neutral, impassive.

“Why?!”

“Because I love her,” he stated, quite plainly. “And that girl might be my wife. So I’m going to do my damnedest to keep her safe, once I get her back.”

Kageyama ran a hand through his hair, agitated. He could almost hear Y/N, laughing in his head, and a strange feeling filled his system at the thought of her leaving him.

He turned to Tsukishima, who still looked calm, albeit a little cautious. Perhaps it was because of Kageyama’s fists clenching and unclenching, and the sound of his labored breathing.

_You will not take her away,_ he thought, as he stared at Tsukishima. _You will **not** take her away._

“I’m not here to fight with you, Kageyama,” Tsukishima said, and Kageyama momentarily froze at the sound of his name. Tsukishima never used his real name. “We’re long past the years of bickering, of petty arguing, and of useless babble. There are things more important than those.

“I know you love her. That’s why I told you. You, of all people, need to know what I’m planning first. I realized I never really got to thank you for staying with her when you all thought I was gone, so I hope this makes up for it. But I don’t want to compromise my sentiments just because I owed you a favor. I love Y/N too. You really think I should just ignore that? Me, when she helped me through the worst of times? When I almost succeeded in making her stay with me? When she almost had—”

Tsukishima’s voice broke, and Kageyama snapped up at that. He realized that Tsukishima was dangerously close to tears, and the emotion on his face contained more than Kageyama had ever seen him wear.

He shook his head, dismissing his earlier monologue. “Never mind. Forget what I said. See you later.”

He pushed past Kageyama, increasing the length of his stride with every step until he turned the corner.

It wasn’t until he exhaled slowly that Kageyama realized he had been holding his breath. And it wasn’t until he had unclenched his fists that he realized that his hands had been shaking with some unknown source of strength. He used that strength to make his way down the hall, until he reached his room. Thankfully, Hinata was out doing God knows what, and so Kageyama was free to do as he pleased.

He threw the doors to the balcony open, allowing the warm afternoon air to calm him down. It was no surprise that Tsukishima always made his blood boil, but what had happened earlier irked him in a different way. It was more than just the thought of him taking Y/N and Akihiro away; what it was, really, was still a mystery to him.

Perhaps it was the sight of Tsukishima so vulnerable, so emotional, and just so weak, and it was all because of Y/N. That, in itself, was proof of how much he loved her, and it went beyond the measure of how Kageyama could ever hope to love her.

He was losing, yet again.

His inner dilemma almost made him forget why he was in the room in the first place, and he pulled the book containing the letter out.

Enclosed in an envelope was a piece of heavy, expensive-looking stationery, and before Kageyama ripped it out, his eyes scanned over a set of lines on the page.

 

_These violent delights have violent ends_  
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,  
Which, as they kiss, consume.  
The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness  
And in the taste confounds the appetite  
Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.  
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

 

He shook the seemingly haunting words off, and turned his attention to the message printed in the same style as the elegant-looking paper.

 

_To Karasuno’s King:_

_Be glad that I saw right through your awful attempt at hiding your identity, otherwise I might have you tracked down. And I doubt you want to be found right now._

_To answer your question, yes, I believe Y/N’s beyond saving. In the medical sense, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know how you caught wind of her symptoms, but if you’re right, then there’s no doubt about it. She’s in more danger than you realize._

_You threaten the peace between your group and mine by corresponding with me, and I can’t imagine the lengths you went to ask help. And though you were the last person from Karasuno that I expected to set aside personal grudges and work towards a greater cause, I appreciate the effort, nonetheless. I’ll see to it that there is a solution to Y/N’s condition. That, too, is my way of making up for my giving support for Nekoma. Originally, I’d seen Kuroo’s plan as pure business between us two, and I admit, he believed in it so much that I was almost convinced. But he has gone too far. Karasuno won’t be the only group trampled by his reign – it’ll be our demise, too. I’ll therefore withdraw all my support from him, and we’ll be ready to help you whenever we can._

_I’ll get back to you as soon as we’ve gotten enough data. Don’t do anything rash until then._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Oikawa Tooru_

“ “Don’t do anything rash”,” Kageyama read out loud. He laughed humorlessly before folding the letter and placing it in his pocket. He sighed, knowing very well that acting alone would be risky. But he was convinced that Y/N couldn’t be saved if Karasuno just sat around idly, waiting for “the perfect opportunity”, as Akaashi had once phrased it.

Each day, Y/N grew worse, and Kageyama could feel it. He felt the weight of her life hanging in the balance, just moments away from dropping into the void. If he didn’t act quickly, he could lose her, or have her taken away from Tsukishima – whichever came first.

“ “These violent delights have violent ends”,” Kageyama muttered under his breath, recalling the words on the page. He’d never thought much of Shakespeare, but now, it seemed, it was as if his life was being written by the famous tragedy author.

_Y/N,_ he thought. _I’m coming for you._

 

* * *

 

The door swung open, causing Y/N, Lev, and Kuroo to look up.

“Ah,” Dario, the Italian businessman from Semi’s casino, walked in pleasantly. “I was told your office was here, _Signor_ Kuroo.”

Y/N and Lev glanced at each other, then to Kuroo. It was clear from Kuroo’s slightly startled expression that none of them had expected this visit.

Dario turned to Y/N, and smiled as he bowed. “ _Mia bella signora_ ,” he said. “What a treat, what a treat indeed to see you again.”

“What brings you here, good sir?” Kuroo said, having gotten over his initial shock. “I admit, I did not expect to see you today.”

“Ah, well, plans have changed,” Dario said, accepting a cup of tea from Lev. “I’ve come with quite unfortunate news.”

“Alright,” Kuroo replied, sitting up. “Do your worst.”

Dario took a sip from his cup before continuing. “The stocks you ordered will be delayed due to some circumstances. You won’t be able to get them until the end of next month.”

“But I need them by the end of this month.”

“I know, _signor_ ,” Dario said. “So I made a deal in your name. I agreed to pay them in full, and included next month’s down payment to ensure that the supplies for this month and for the next come in. Consider it compensation for the slight delay.”

“How is that considered compensation?” Lev blurted out.

Kuroo raised a hand. He fixed Dario with a look – a look that Y/N knew all too well. She immediately stood up, and walked towards Lev.

“Come,” she said, quietly but urgently. Lev knew better than to argue, and held his arm out for Y/N. Before she could accept, Kuroo called for them.

“Y/N, stay. Lev, you can go.”

Lev looked reluctant. “But–”

“ _Now_ , Lev.”

Lev shot Y/N an apologetic glance, and she responded with a nod. Ever since that conversation in her room and Alisa’s visit, Lev had somehow become more protective of her, trailing her every step and guarding her at all times. His protection was short-lived, however, whenever Kuroo stepped in.

As soon as the tall Russian member left, Y/N closed the door behind him and stood next to it quietly, determinedly avoiding Kuroo’s gaze. She could practically smell his anger, from Dario’s report and from Lev’s increasingly defiant attitude.

“Mr. Dario,” Kuroo began. “I must say I am quite…disappointed.”

Dario’s face fell.

“I’d like to remind you that the money was not yours to spend,” he continued. “And that you weren’t in any position to make deals on my behalf. That power remains in me and me alone. No matter how convenient you thought it might be.”

He stood up. “But no matter. In a few weeks, my men will be ready to take the Imperial Palace. We won’t have to wait until next month to do so. Those supplies were merely emergency stocks, so a delay wouldn’t have worried me. But money does.”

Kuroo walked around his table to stand in front of Dario. Though he meant to look unaffected as he leaned against the wood, his stance completely suggested otherwise. With his lean and lithe figure, there was no mistaking the way his muscles flexed from the strain of holding in his anger.

He fished out a small vial, containing a very small amount of liquid. He held it up for Dario to see. “Know what it is?”

Dario shook his head, clearly aware of where the situation is going.

Kuroo tossed the bottle in the air, and caught it with ease. “This, my friend, is my main weapon. A solution that can strengthen the user with every drop that is consumed by his system. It was originally made as pills, but I had it converted to liquid. It’s what I’ll have my army drink before we take on the government. It’s what I’ll serve my future empress before she strikes the monarchy down with me. And she knows what it is.”

He winked at Y/N, who widened her eyes as she realized what the vial contained.

“And this,” Kuroo brought out another container, which looked like a small plastic capsule. “Another revolutionary invention. When opened, the user inhales a chemical that causes the brain to order an increase in body repair, so that cuts, broken bones, muscle tears, and even internal bleeding can be healed within minutes.”

_The paste_ , Y/N thought. _And the pills._

Kuroo held up the vial and the capsule. “These two are essential to Project Phoenix,” he declared. “A new world reborn from the ashes of the old one. The user is reborn after he attains his full potential accessed through these chemicals. No one can stand in our way now.”

“ _Signor_ ,” Dario said, his voice trembling. “I apologize for what I did, I swear to you, it will never happen again –”

“Oh, I believe you,” Kuroo said, making his way back behind his desk. “And it’s alright. Really, it is.”

Dario seemed to visibly relax in his seat.

“Do you know why I showed you those, Mr. Dario?” Kuroo asked. “It’s to tell you that your services are no longer required. I have the numbers. I have the resources. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Dario stood up. “N-now, wait a minute,” he said hastily. “You haven’t paid me what I am due –”

“What you are due?” Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “You never said anything about payment. Unless you were serious about Y/N?”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, as well.

Dario shot her a panicked glance, before looking at Kuroo. Before he could speak, however, the latter beat him to it.

“You were so drunk, I assumed you didn’t know you were talking about,” Kuroo said, walking back to tower over Dario. “But you said so many filthy things, it’s a miracle you had your goons sit with you as you talked about everything you wanted to do to her.”

“Kuroo, what are you saying?” Y/N asked.

“Oh, nothing, dear,” Kuroo replied, smiling quite devilishly. “We just had a man-to-man talk, that’s all. It was quite distasteful though, having to hear a man your age wanting her on her knees for you.”

Y/N wanted to vomit. She reached for the gun strapped to her waist.

“I – I didn’t mean – ” Dario stumbled over his words. “It wasn’t – didn’t mean – ”

“I’ll indulge you,” Kuroo said, leaning forward and whispering, “Because I did have her on her knees, many, many times. I can tell you, she can do so much more with her mouth other than charm you over to our side. And she’s as beautiful when she looks up at you as she is when you look down on her.”

He smiled. “Why don’t you look at your goddess now?”

Dario turned, only to be faced with a loaded gun in his face.

And a bullet to the head.

Kuroo stepped around the corpse, gazing down fondly at Y/N’s bloodstained face as she hastily wiped off the blood on her gun.

The feeling of his fingers on her cheek caught her attention, and she looked up to see him attempting to rid her skin of the blood. Her hands were still trembling from the rush of pulling the trigger – which was yet again an impulsive decision – and Kuroo reached down to stop them from shaking.

“He’s got one thing right, though,” he said. He stroked her face gently. “You’re absolutely gorgeous from all angles.”

Y/N wanted to pull away, but this time, she couldn’t. She was starting to get used to the adrenaline that only came around whenever Kuroo was around, and her system seemed to feed off it. She hated to admit it, but it was rather exciting, being the Black Cat again.

So when Kuroo leaned down to kiss her, for the first time, she didn't pull away.


	16. topsy turvy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do you even deal with a writer's block omfg
> 
> I love reading your interpretations of how the story goes! I've hidden so many clues, I hope you can find them *wink, wink*

_He was back in the Miyagi headquarters, walking around aimlessly. He’d never really stopped to admire the size of Y/N’s old home, completely transformed to accommodate a developing mafia group._

_The house was empty, which bothered him. It was usually filled with the sounds of murmuring, shuffling papers, members training in the gym, guns loading, or Nishinoya and Tanaka’s loud, boisterous laughter. Now, it was filled with nothing but silence; a silence that pressed heavily against his eardrums and made him increasingly aware that he was alone with every passing second._

_He climbed the stairs, and even that didn’t feel right – the fourth step creaked the loudest whenever someone stepped on it, and yet it produced no sound as he ascended. Nevertheless, he kept going, and before he knew it, he’d somehow traced the path from the staircase to his room._

_Whose door was already open._

_He tensed, halting in his steps as he surveyed the scene carefully. Years of mafia training began to kick in, and he approached swiftly and silently, ready to greet whatever was behind that door._

_Quietly, he pushed open the door._

_Y/N’s bedroom was exactly how they’d left it – pristine, and in that modern minimalist style in which she only ever utilized monochromatic colors in her space. He was almost relieved, thinking that the wind must have blown the door open, and that he was a fool for worrying—_

_Until he saw her._

_Her hair had somehow grown longer, cascading down her back in a rippling, almost surreal way, as she shifted from leg to leg in a slow sway. A lump grew in his throat as her soft humming reached his ears; he’d never really given her singing voice credit._

_“I was wondering when you’d come up here.”_

_She turned to him, tucking her hair over her ear and smiling rather amusedly at his dumbfounded expression. “Hello, Kei.”_

_Tsukishima swallowed, his vision suddenly going blurry around the edges as he focused on her face – her beautiful, radiant face, somehow devoid of all sadness and pain. And his heart raced at the sight of what was in her arms, and what was behind her._

_“I’m dead,” he blurted out. “I’m dead, and this is heaven. Or hell. I think it’s hell.”_

_She laughed. “Quite the opposite, dear. Though it’s kind of mean to compare this to hell.”_

_“It’s just…” Tsukishima began, finally taking his first step towards her. “This, you, everything here…even the damn house…it’s not real. And it’s not something I can have. And if that doesn’t say damnation, then I don’t know what is.”_

_“I was simply referring to the fact that you consider this hell, when in fact you’ve always treated me as someone the devil himself would flee from when it came to it,” Y/N teased, and he broke into a smile. He wondered how long had it been since he did that._

_“And this…?” His eyes lowered, down to the baby in her arms._

_It was a girl, no doubt about it. The little tufts of hair that sprouted from her head were platinum blonde, almost silver in the morning light – a trait that Tsukishima himself had had when he was a child. But she looked up at him, and a sudden blaze of excitement filled him._

_Her eyes, at first glance, were unnaturally blank and cold for an infant. But if he looked closer, there was that unmistakable warmth in them; a fire that was slowly kindling, and Tsukishima knew that once she’d grow up, they would become raging wildfires, burning into the souls of every person who’d have the misfortune of beholding her._

_Much like her mother._

_“Megumi,” he whispered._

_He peered over her shoulder, into the crib that was behind her. Sure enough, fast asleep and swaddled in soft-looking clothes, was a baby nearly identical to Megumi._

_“Tsukiko,” he added quietly._

_Y/N smiled, although this time, it looked a little too melancholy for his tastes. “I can’t believe it. You literally named him “moon child”.”_

_“I remember now,” Tsukishima said quietly. “I promised my brother…Akiteru made me promise that my first son would have a character from my last name in his first name.”_

_“What an odd request.”_

_“I had an odd brother.”_

_They both laughed, but fell silent as Megumi began to move. Tsukishima watched with bated breath as she stuck her chubby little arm out, waving it around haphazardly, gurgling impatiently as she reached out to…to…_

_“I think she’s looking for you,” Y/N said, a quiet smile on her face._

_Tsukishima stepped back. “I—what—I don’t think—”_

_Megumi cried out for real this time, the impatience in her tone as clear as if she had voiced it out with words – a trait that Tsukishima knew all too well._

_He took a deep breath, and held out his arms._

_There were lots of shifting and adjusting on both parts, as Y/N transferred a squirming Megumi into Tsukishima’s arms. Interestingly enough, once Tsukishima had a grip on her, and when Y/N stepped back, she quieted down, fixing him with that same curious look._

_He looked down at her, filled with a mixture of both immense joy and longing. He’d never seen anything quite as extraordinary as the child in his arms, and that was saying something. And to think that there was a boy as spectacular as she was sleeping in the crib behind his mother was almost too overwhelming to even consider._

_It was his daughter. His son. And when he looked up from her, he saw Y/N gazing at him with unmistakable pride in her eyes._

_It was incredibly cruel, indeed, to have everything you’ve ever wanted right in front of you, and yet still be out of reach._

_“This is a dream,” he whispered._

_Y/N stepped closer to him, and reached out to touch his cheek. As soon as her fingers grazed his skin, he closed his eyes, wanting to revel in the feeling for a little while longer._

_“I miss you,” he continued._

_“I know,” Y/N said. “But what if you have to let me go?”_

_“No,” he replied. “Never.”_

_He felt Megumi rest her head against his shoulder, and watched as her tiny little mouth opened in a yawn, before settling in comfortably in the crook of his neck._

_“You can’t hold me down forever,” she reminded him gently. “You know you’re going to have to let me go.”_

_“Last time I let you go, I lost you then,” Tsukishima said. “I lost her,” he nodded at the sleeping Megumi, “I lost him,” he gestured to Tsukiko in his crib, “And I nearly lost you. Never again.”_

_He waited for a response, but there came none. Instead, he found her staring at him with sadness, and a little pity._

_“What is it?” he asked._

_“Nothing,” she replied, brushing her thumb against his cheek soothingly. “It’s just…you’ll have to wake up soon.”_

_“Y/N, please—”_

_“Wake up.” Y/N withdrew her hand from his cheek, and with Megumi in his arms, he couldn’t pull it back._

_“No, don’t—"_

 

“Y/N!”

He sat up quickly, trembling from head to toe and drenched in sweat. Tsukishima took deep breaths, running a shaking hand through his hair, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He was still in the room that he occupied in Fukurodani’s HQ, alone and in the same clothes he wore the night before.

He thought about his dream—which still felt as if it had been more than that. Tsukishima knew it was her; it was Y/N, with her smart alecks and warm smiles. And the children—oh, _God_ , the children…

Tsukishima pulled his knees up to his chest, unable to control his shaking. He’d never really thought about how much he’d lost, until that dream. They’d only gotten so far as to naming their children, but never really seeing them. The first and the last time he’d ever seen them were in the backyard, cruelly submitted to the cold, dark earth, with nothing but misspelled nameplates to remember them by.

Against his will, the tears welled up and began to fall, slowly but surely. Along with them, the lump in his throat began to grow as well with the effort it took him not to cry.

“Why…?” he asked, almost to himself. “What the hell did I do to deserve this…this shitty life?”

_Why?_ He thought, as he angrily wiped away his tears. _Everything…everything taken away…_

As if the world hadn’t gotten enough of his misery, his mind filled with what he once thought was the most beautiful memory in the world, but now seemed like the most painful one: her

Those piercing, eyes that saw right through him the first time they met. Her witty remarks and quick comebacks that made any discourse between them feel like an intense tennis match. Her smile, her kisses, her soft hair sliding through his fingers, the pressure of her legs around his waist, the small gasps that escaped her lips with every movement of his hips…

And yet, while those sinful thoughts consumed him, he couldn’t help but think of the more wholesome ones; the time he caught her dancing to a popular song on the radio, the way she maneuvered so effortlessly while in combat, and the way she laughed and kissed him whenever she made yet another impulsive decision—which, judging by her character, she always seemed to kiss him a lot.

And good God, she was pregnant. He’d almost let it slip his mind that she was once pregnant with his children—fraternal twins, to be exact. To this day, he still blamed himself for that unfortunate accident; had he not disappeared and caused her so much stress and worry, his dream might not have been merely a dream.

On one hand, he wondered why he was feeling all of this now. It wasn’t as if she had died—though, if they didn’t hurry, that could easily be a reality. But he figured that he had been going through life so fast and keeping himself so busy, not allowing himself to feel even the slightest bit of emotion, that it had all hit him like a tidal wave that had been hastily kept out using a wall made of plaster.

The shrill _beep, beep_ of his alarm clock scared him out of his wits, and he whirled around to look at the device. For some reason, it seemed to infuriate him, as if it was taunting him, _Get up. The dream’s over. Get up and face your shitty reality._

Tsukishima growled and fell back on his pillows, wanting nothing more than for sleep to overcome him and bring him back to that paradise in his mind. He threw a pillow over his head, but even that couldn’t drown out the harsh ringing of his alarm.

With a frustrated yell he got up, took the alarm clock, and flung it across the room. “Alright!” he roared. “I’m fucking up, I get it!”

A second later, he was on his knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

The clock gave one more feeble _beep, beep_ , before it ultimately went silent.

The fact that he was losing it over an alarm clock should have worried him, but at that moment, he couldn’t give a single fuck about it. He was stressed, tired, and worried. He had no clue on how to save Y/N, and he could do nothing but agree or disagree with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Daichi as to how they could stop Nekoma. He felt useless—the very feeling he detested the most.

He never cried. But with every tear that he shed, he felt as if the weight on his shoulders had begun to lessen. Now, he understood why people kept saying that crying was a healthy way to relieve stress.

Tsukishima missed Y/N. He loved her. And he wanted nothing more than to see her again.

_If it means dying to get a glimpse of you again_ , he thought. _I’d gladly give my life up for you._

A knock suddenly came on the door. “Tsukki?” came Yamaguchi’s voice from the other side. “Daichi-san wants you to get up. We’re starting early today.”

_Ah, fuck._ Tsukishima sat back on his heels, inhaling and exhaling deeply, trying to calm himself down. He grabbed his blanket and began to wipe his face clean, something he knew that Y/N would scold him for.

The thought nearly brought a smile to his face.

_What I’d give to see you smile again,_ he thought.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Yeah,” Tsukishima answered, standing up and straightening himself out. He grabbed his glasses, slipped them on, and took a deep breath. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

 

* * *

 

It was the first time the meeting hall was packed. The table was comprised of Bokuto, Akaashi, a few unnamed Fukurodani members, Kenma, and the entirety of Karasuno.

_If Daichi-san had us all come here, it might be serious,_ Kageyama thought. _Damn it. And I was hoping I’d get some extra training by waking up earlier today. I still can’t target that area accurately…_

The doors on the right side of the room, revealing Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. “Excuse the interruption,” Tsukishima said, sounding surprisingly hoarse. “Sorry I’m late.”

Across Kageyama, Kiyoko raised her eyebrows. He couldn’t wrap his head around it, either—Tsukishima Kei and _late_ didn’t exactly mix.

“Look at his eyes,” Hinata murmured. “I know that’s not because of pot.”

“Just because they’re red, doesn’t mean he’s taking drugs, dumbass.”

“I know, I know! It’s just a guess, damn it!”

As soon as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had taken their seats, Bokuto cleared his throat and stood up.

“You might be wondering why I’ve asked you all to come today,” he said. “It’s because we’re running out of time. And of resources. Nekoma’s moving fast, and it’s only going to be roughly 2 weeks until they attack the palace. Of course, we can’t rely on sheer force to overwhelm them. Knowing Kuroo, the only way we can beat him is to outsmart him. And so, we’re going to brief you on what’s going to happen.”

He moved away from the table, and backed up until the entire table could see him. “Gentlemen,” he began, but paused as Kiyoko softly cleared her throat. “And ladies, yes, yes—we’re about to take on what may be the biggest mission in Japanese mafia history. We’re about to defend the Imperial Palace against a huge army with nothing but a few hundred men, a handful of weapons, and nothing but God and His mercy to defend us from whatever’s going to happen on that day, two weeks from now. Some of us might not come out of there alive. But if we succeed, we can save lives. I know that’s not what it means to be a part of the mafia, but this matter is bigger than any of us. I hope you’re all with me, from this day forward, no matter what happens.”

“You’re lucky,” Kageyama could hear Akaashi whisper to Kenma. “He almost never gets this serious and fired up about something.”

“Unless it’s you and him, in a dark room, wearing nothing but—”

“You ruined the moment.”

“Heh, you got me hooked,” Daichi smirked, leaning back in his seat. “Take it away.”

Bokuto grinned, before continuing. “In front of you are folders containing all the files and information we have regarding Nekoma. Important individuals and their information are in there too, namely Kuroo Tetsurou and Y/N.

“But you already know them—or at least have an idea of who they are,” Bokuto continued. “We want to focus on something that could give us the upper hand over them. That could make things easier for us. Kenma?”

“Right.” Kenma stood up. “We’ve figured out the one weakness both Kuroo and Y/N have. It’s their seven-year-old son, Kuroo Akihiro.”

The entire room seemed to tense at that. Kageyama opened the folder in front of him, and gazed upon Kuroo Akihiro’s profile. His picture, when placed in between Kuroo’s and Y/N’s, only served to highlight just how much the kid looked like his father, with traces of his mother’s likeness.

He had a sudden urge to crumple up the paper.

“There are several reasons why we say Akihiro is their one weakness, besides them being his biological parents. The main reason why Kuroo needs Akihiro is that in the event that he does take over the monarchy, he’s going to need an heir to take over. If we take the kid out of the picture, that weakens Kuroo’s resolve, and possibly bring Y/N back to her senses—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Nishinoya interrupted. “What do you mean, “take the kid out of the picture”? You can’t possibly mean—”

“No, we’re not going to kill the kid,” Bokuto scowled. “We just need to separate him from Kuroo. Take him to safety, as well.”

“Really?” Kiyoko piped up. “Last time someone tried to take Aki, it led Y/N to a trap. It led us to a trap. All hell breaks loose when you bring a child into a situation.”

Both Kageyama and Tsukishima clenched their fists.

“I’m going to have to agree with Shimizu,” Sugawara said. “I’m all for weakening Kuroo and saving Aki, but I’ll have to insist that the kid isn’t going to be used as bait for Y/N. Never again.”

“Actually, we weren’t thinking of using him as bait,” Kenma replied. “We just want to let him stay here, out of the action and out of Kuroo’s grasp. We’re keeping him safe, and at the same time, foil Kuroo’s plan.”

“That’s nice and everything,” Tanaka said. “But what makes you think Kuroo will just let you take his son—his heir, whatever you want to call him—away from him? And who’s to say Y/N’s just going to let us do whatever we want with the kid? Isn’t he the reason why she stayed in Nekoma?”

“That was because of Kuroo,” Akaashi replied. “Had he not manipulated the two of them and convinced Y/N that Aki’s life hung in the balance, Y/N would have left Nekoma long ago. If we can convince Y/N that _we’re_ the ones capable of keeping Aki safe, she’ll turn on Kuroo.”

“That’s not going to be easy,” Kageyama spoke up, keeping his eyes on the folder.

Silence enveloped the room, filling his ears with nothing but the sound of his rapid heartbeat. _Idiot!_ his subconscious seemed to scold him. _You’re doing this now?! Talking about this now?!_

He turned to Daichi. “Daichi-san, I’m really sorry,” he said. “But a few weeks ago, I went to Oikawa-san.”

To his credit, Daichi did his best to hide his surprise. But the way he clenched his fists on top of the table was a clear indication that he wasn’t too happy about it.

“He said that Kuroo knows that he can’t control Y/N that easily,” Kageyama continued. “So he developed another drug—a hallucinogen that warps the user’s senses and perception.”

“I see,” Akaashi said. “So he’s trying to blur out her reality and replace it with a fake one that convinces her that she’s on his side…”

“And because of that, I’m not so sure Aki’s the only reason why she’s with Nekoma now,” Kageyama continued. “She may be fully convinced that she’s with Kuroo now.”

“It’s not going to come to that,” Tsukishima snapped.

Kageyama frowned. “Calm down. It’s just a possibility.”

“Kageyama, why didn’t you say anything?” Sugawara asked, disappointment clear in his tone.

“I’m sorry,” Kageyama apologized. “I knew you wouldn’t let me.”

“Well…no matter,” Daichi said gruffly. “I’ll deal with you later. But now we know Y/N’s not going to be easily swayed because of that hallucinogen. How are we going to go through with this?”

“The hallucinogen’s a problem,” Bokuto said. “Kuroo developed that, so I have no idea how to get it out…”

Kageyama opened his mouth to suggest his plan, but to his surprise, his voice failed him. He could have sworn he felt a hand cover his mouth, forcing him to stay silent, before disappearing with a familiar-sounding giggle.

“Well, I suggest we push through with bringing Aki here,” Tsukishima said. “After all, he’s not alone, and that makes it easier. Isn’t that right, King?”

Kageyama’s head snapped up. “What?”

“He has Haiba Alisa with him,” Tsukishima continued. “We can bring her here, too. You’re close to Alisa-san, aren’t you, King?”

He began to fidget under Tsukishima’s gaze, and he didn’t miss the triumphant smirk that crossed the blonde’s face.

“Oh, Alisa-san!” Nishinoya exclaimed. “That pretty Russian girl! Yeah, I think she’s staying with Aki. I think it’s better if she stays here, too.”

“Yeah, you just want an excuse to look at her,” Ennoshita mumbled.

_Crap,_ Kageyama thought. _I can’t tell them that I’ve been asking Alisa to keep tabs on Y/N. That would mean I have intel, and they’re going to scold me from withdrawing information from them…and the plan would be ruined._

_Wait a minute._ He straightened in his seat. _Why am I keeping the plan a secret? Is it because I’ve been asking Seijoh for help behind Daichi’s back? Is it because I have a direct line to Nekoma and could jeopardize the situation by letting it slip that Alisa has been updating me with everything?_

_Or maybe,_ Y/N’s voice in his head crooned. _You just don’t want anyone to steal the spotlight when the time comes._

He froze.

_Isn’t that the truth?_ She continued to torment him. _That’s why you keep training. It’s because Oikawa has a plan to let you save me. You want to be responsible for that. Selfish, greedy boy._

He shivered as he imagined her hands creeping down his shoulders. _But I like it,_ she whispered.

He barely managed to keep himself together throughout the course of the meeting, where it adjourned after Bokuto declaring that Alisa was to be contacted and brought to Fukurodani’s headquarters by the end of the week.

Kageyama was about to leave the room, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He sighed, fully aware of who it was before he could even turn around.

“You go on,” he said to Hinata, who shrugged before leaving the room.

Kageyama sighed again, before turning around. “What, Glasses?”

“Daichi-san was pretty pissed,” Tsukishima said. “Not so much about the fact that you talked to Oikawa-san, but because you chose to keep it a secret.”

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know,” Kageyama snorted. “Anything else? I’ve got training.”

“You can’t keep hiding stuff from us,” Tsukishima said. “I’m telling you, Daichi-san’s getting suspicious with every little rendezvous of yours. Your excuses aren’t always the best, you know.”

Kageyama had on his look of _I really couldn’t give less of a fuck about what you’re saying_ as per usual, but Tsukishima was really starting to dig deeper. If he found out…

“I know what I’m doing,” he responded calmly.

“Well, you better,” Tsukishima said, backing up and walking past him. Before he left the room, however, he had an additional comment.

“Oh, do try to make Alisa-san feel at home when they get here,” he remarked. “She seems to trust you quite a lot.”

Kageyama didn’t miss the small smirk on his face before Tsukishima left for real.

 

* * *

 

“Ah, crap,” Kuroo groaned, as he tried to stretch out the cramp in his shoulder.

“Rough day?” Yaku asked, as they walked down the corridor.

“Yeah, but the closer we get to the date, the busier it gets,” Kuroo said. “Anyway, I think we’re more than ready. We just have to polish some things up, and wait for the perfect time.”

“Agreed,” Yaku said. “You go rest up. I’ll take care of what’s left for today.”

Kuroo smirked. “Whoa, whoa. Since when were you so responsible and so concerned for me? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re falling for me, Yaku.”

“Yeah, don’t get your head any more inflated than it already is,” Yaku snorted. “You need to get your shit together before we take the palace. You may have already convinced Y/N fully that she’s on our side, but you’re still the person responsible for all of this.”

“Okay, mom,” Kuroo teased. “Thanks, Yaku. For real.”

Yaku rolled his eyes. “Dunno why I even bother. And ease up on the hallucinogen on Y/N. I know you’re thrilled that she’s all over you again, but there’s still a danger of an overdose.”

“Yes, yes, okay, Yaku,” Kuroo said. “See you, you annoying shit.”

As soon as Yaku disappeared down the corridor, Kuroo took the path going to his own room, wanting nothing more but to call it a day and prepare for the next. When he opened the door, however, it seemed like he had other things to take care of.

“Well, this is a surprise,” he smirked, closing the door behind him. “I haven’t come home to this in a very long time.”

He walked closer, leaning on the wall and admiring the view before him. He hadn’t felt this triumphant in years, knowing that everything was ready for the operation on the Imperial Palace, and that everybody that he needed to be by his side was already there. In fact, he already felt like the Emperor himself.

“Well?” he asked. “What have you got to say for yourself?”

He watched with delight as she traced her hand up her exposed leg, tantalizing him, just _daring_ him to make a move.

“Will you not come to bed?” she whispered, the lamplight making her look like a feline who had just captured a bird in between its teeth. “My king?”


	17. in kind

_One more…_

Kageyama drove the knife upwards into the dummy, before stepping back and checking his work. To his dismay, he had missed yet again, and according to a ruler that he had lying around nearby, he was short by approximately 3.7 inches.

_Shit,_ he cursed, as he removed the knife from the dummy. _It has to be exactly in the right spot. If it’s off, even by just an inch, it could be fatal…_

“You know, statistically speaking, you should have been able to get the target by now.”

Kageyama turned around to see Sugawara, leaning on the doorframe of the training center, watching his progress. Kageyama wiped his forehead before bowing to his senior.

Sugawara walked in, his expression as peaceful and inviting as always. But Kageyama knew better—the man behind that serene mask was just as devilish as anyone else, perhaps even more so, given that he’d been personally trained by Karasuno’s second-in-command.

“Hmm,” Sugawara mused, squinting at the target, and the holes left by the knife concentrated somewhere between the lower chest and the upper stomach areas. “That’s an odd place to aim for. What are you planning on doing?”

Kageyama gestured lamely to the dummy. “It’s, uh, kind of hard to explain.”

“Go ahead.”

Kageyama cleared his throat. “I’m…experimenting with ways to stab someone. Particularly, testing the possibility that you can stab a person without them dying.”

Sugawara raised his eyebrows. “Well, if you’re going to stab someone, what could possibly be your intention other than to kill them?”

“Just to induce bleeding,” Kageyama struggled to explain, picking whatever words Oikawa had been using in his letters. “Like, uh…when there’s venom in your bloodstream. The usual solution would be to suck it all out, right?”

“Yeah, that’s one way of doing it.”

Kageyama waved his arms awkwardly. “Yeah. Like that, minus the sucking.”

Sugawara looked at the target, and ran his fingers through the tattered fabric. “If my medical studies serve me correctly,” he said. “I’d say you’re aiming for the space between the diaphragm and the lungs.”

Kageyama nodded.

“That’s awfully close to the heart, you know,” Sugawara said. “You fuck your aim up, your target’s dead. That’s a big risk. Why not aim for the stomach? Tons of people get stabbed there and still live to tell the tale.”

“That’s not it,” Kageyama turned back to the dummy. How on earth would he be able to explain this? True, everyone knew he’d gone to Oikawa for help…but as far as he was concerned, they knew it was a one-time favor. What would Sugawara say when he found out Kageyama was still in touch with Oikawa? Or, more importantly, what would he say once he found out Kageyama was still figuring out a way to save Y/N, and couldn’t care less about the fate of Kuroo and Nekoma in general?

One glance at the silver-haired second-in-command confirmed it all. Kageyama couldn’t lie to his superior.

“Ah, so simply put, you’re bordering on life and death,” Sugawara suggested.

Kageyama relaxed, just a tad bit. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

Sugawara sighed. “I don’t pretend to understand what you’re doing, Kageyama. But whatever it is, I trust it’s for the sake of all of us here.”

He said nothing in return.

“Bokuto’s intel from Nekoma says they’re moving out in three days,” Sugawara continued. “I want to make sure that you’re in top shape, both physically and mentally, to take this mission on.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Kageyama said. “I can handle it.”

“Kageyama,” Sugawara replied, in a tone that vaguely resembled a mother making something clear to a child. “I can tell this is going to be hard for you. And the pressure Daichi’s been placing on you as a top member is ridiculous. Plus, the fact that we’ll be going up against the biggest mafia group to ever exist at this moment isn’t really the best situation to be in. And it’s Y/N we’re up against, too…”

Kageyama flipped the knife in his hand, over and over again, as Sugawara’s words began to sink in. He’d never really thought about the magnitude of the case, as well as the seriousness of the situation. He’d been so invested in his own mission—his own personal, selfish mission—that he’d failed to see the whole picture.

He sighed. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “Really, Suga-san. I’m not new to this whole “close-to-death” encounters.”

Sugawara laughed, patting Kageyama’s back. “I’ll give you that. Anyway, I came down here to tell you that Alisa and Akihiro’s arrived. Just a heads up.”

“Really?” Kageyama’s interest was piqued.

“Yup. Thought you might want to go and say hi.” Before Sugawara could leave the center, however, a thought came to him, causing him to stop in his tracks.

After a moment, he looked over his shoulder, addressing Kageyama once more. “A word of advice,” he said. “There will always be a good possibility that your target dies from a stab wound. You could rupture an artery, hit a major nerve, or an infection is caused due to the knife’s surface. So really, if you’re aiming to induce bleeding and not hit any major organs, you better make sure your target’s healing rate goes at the speed of light.”

And with that happy thought, Karasuno’s second-in-command peacefully dismissed himself.

 

* * *

 

“Bokuto-sama,” a servant bowed, upon entering Bokuto’s office. “Kuroo-san is here.”

Immediately, Tsukishima and Daichi’s heads shot up. Tsukishima, in particular, tensed as he reached for his gun. _Damn it,_ he cursed. _Right here? Right now? We’re far from prepared, the men still aren’t armed—_

“Relax,” Kenma said, closing his laptop and standing up. “It’s nothing like that.”

A boy walked into the office, a little awestruck by the grandeur of the whole place. Tsukishima instantly recognized him, even though he hadn’t gotten a chance to actually talk to the boy one-on-one, as there was no mistaking that unruly black hair and piercing eyes.

Akaashi moved around his table, walking over to where Kuroo Akihiro stood. “Welcome, Akihiro,” he said courteously, treating the boy with the same respect he would have given Bokuto.

Akihiro tilted his head. “I’ve seen you before,” he said, as Akaashi crouched down to meet him at his height. “You went to my spelling bee contest.”

Akaashi gave a rare chuckle, before turning to look at the people behind him. “Here’s a fun fact,” he said. “During that period of time when Y/N and I were still fighting, she forced me to call a temporary truce so that she could attend Aki’s spelling bee contest. And she made me go with her.”

“So that’s why you weren’t home that day,” Bokuto mused.

Daichi laughed. “Sounds very Y/N to me.”

“I was wondering why she brought a complete stranger to my contest,” Akihiro continued. “I thought you were her boyfriend.”

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t,” Akaashi promised. “And I’m won’t be that to her. Back then, she was one of my worst enemies. Now, I consider her a comrade. And I want to save her.”

Akihiro’s face fell, ever so slightly. He took a while before asking, “How is she? Y/N-nee—” he caught himself, before changing to, “I mean…Mom. Have you heard from her?”

That was the first time Tsukishima had ever heard Aki openly address Y/N as his mother. _Guess he knows, huh…_ he thought. _Funny…if things were different…would he have called me Dad?_

“I’m afraid not,” Akaashi sighed. “But we’re doing everything we can to help her. Right now, you’re in a dangerous situation, Aki, and we know Y/N would never forgive herself if anything happened to you. So, we’re keeping you and Alisa here for now, until we’ve settled things with Kuroo, okay?”

“Kuroo…” Akihiro mused. “Oh. You mean my father.”

Tsukishima and Kenma exchanged glances.

“Is he really a bad person?” Akihiro asked. “I hear Alisa- _neechan_ on the phone sometimes, cursing him out and demanding that he set Mom free. I know what he and Mom do for a living, but…is he really as bad as everyone says he is?”

Bokuto cleared his throat, and tapped Akaashi on the shoulder so that they could trade places. Once Bokuto had crouched down as well, he began to address Akihiro seriously. “Your dad’s a good man,” he said. “Really, he is. There are just some people who believe in the wrong things, who surround themselves with the wrong crowd, and who make the wrong decisions. But I’ve known Kuroo for a long time, and I know there’s still some good in him.

“But right now he’s choosing his darker side, something that makes things complicated. We’re going to make sure he realizes his mistakes, and make sure he gets what he is due.”

“…and Mom?” Akihiro said. “I saw her...and she looked very sick. So pale, sweaty, terrified…she kept losing her balance…”

Something seized Tsukishima’s heart, the feeling akin to that of someone ripping the organ out and thrusting it into a bucket of ice-cold water. From what Akihiro continued to describe, by now, Y/N was a walking corpse.

“I know. We’ll get her back, I promise.” Bokuto ruffled Aki’s hair. “Now, I hear you’re quite a bookworm. If you’re bored, go visit the library here. It’s yours for the time being.”

“Really?” Akihiro’s face lit up.

“Yeah, I never really use it,” Bokuto admitted, glancing sheepishly at Akaashi’s knowing look. “But yeah, feel free to use it as you like. You can read all of the books there, even if it takes you all night!”

“Alisa said not to keep him up past 9.”

“Even if it takes you until 9!” Bokuto corrected himself. “Now, run along. Plenty of adventures to read, eh?”

“Thank you, Bokuto-san,” Akihiro smiled, bowing to each and every member of the room.

As soon as he left, Bokuto straightened, and crossed his arms. “That’s Kuroo’s kid, alright,” he said gruffly. “I can see that lanky bastard in him already.”

“But there’s so much of Y/N in him, too,” Akaashi said. “Eloquent, smart…”

_And just as beautiful,_ Tsukishima added in his head.

“Well, now that we’ve got the kid and Alisa here,” Bokuto said, returning to his desk. “The mission’s all clear. Our intel says Nekoma’s launching the attack in three days, and by then, we’ll be ready. Dad’s got the royal family prepared, but they won’t evacuate until the last minute.”

“Why?” Daichi asked, frowning.

“It’s so we won’t expose the Nekoma intel,” Kenma replied. “Even _I_ don’t know who it is, and that’s proof of how well-guarded that person is. Plus, it’s to make sure Nekoma’s physically present at the palace, so we know where to attack.”

Akaashi retrieved a folder from his desk. “I also have the group assignments. In a nutshell, Fukurodani can handle the majority of Kuroo’s troops, as we do have the numbers to counter them. Karasuno can take on Kuroo’s main forces, including Kuroo himself.”

“And Y/N?” Tsukishima asked quietly.

Silence greeted his words.

“You don’t have to,” Daichi offered. “We’re aiming to recapture her and have her rehabilitated here, but if she’s going to act aggressively, we’re going to have to respond in kind.”

Tsukishima shook his head. “The job comes first. Simple as that.”

Daichi was about to reply, when another sharp knock came on the door. The same servant walked in, bowing deeply. “Bokuto-sama,” he said. “Haiba-san is here.”

At the mention of her name, Haiba Alisa walked in, all smiles as she bowed in front of her audience. Upon seeing Kenma, however, she could not stop her smile from faltering.

“Kozume-kun,” she said, surprise evident in her tone. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Things have changed,” Kenma replied, quite gravely. “Sorry we had to meet again under these circumstances.”

Alisa shook her head dismissively. “I agree, times are difficult now.”

She turned to Bokuto. “Bokuto-san, thank you for such a warm welcome. I ran into Aki on the way here, and he told me that you allowed him to use the library whenever he wanted.”

Bokuto placed his hands on his hips, a smug expression on his face. “Of course I did. Least I could do to make up for the trouble we caused you.”

Alisa smiled once more. “I suppose I’ll have to repay you all in kind, yes? And you’ll need every single detail about Kuroo, Y/N, and Nekoma?”

Tsukishima leaned against his desk, crossed his arms, and allowed a smirk to spread across his face. “If it’s not too inconvenient for you.”

Alisa met his gaze, answering his challenge with a slightly more sinister smile. “Oh, believe me, the least inconvenient thing I could do is to pay back Kuroo for all he’s done to my brother and best friend.”

 

* * *

 

At the sight of bright, silvery hair shining in the sunlight that streamed through the windows, Kageyama began running.

The hallway seemed to stretch on forever as he tried to close the gap between them, but thankfully, he managed to get to the end before she could get very far.

“Alisa-san!”

She froze, before turning around. At the sight of Kageyama, she broke into a smile, and made her way towards him.

The last thing he saw was her silver hair flying behind her as she tackled him in a hug, squeezing the life out of him as he tried to respond in kind. But as he felt the wind get literally knocked out of his lungs, he found himself unable to respond.

“I missed you!” Alisa said happily, once she pulled away.

“Yeah,” he wheezed, clutching his stomach. “Missed you too.”

Once he had recovered, he straightened up, grasping her wrists. “You bring news, I hope?”

Alisa’s eyes widened, as she glanced at her wrists bound in his hands. “I…what?”

“Of Y/N,” he said. “Is she alright? What is she doing?”

Alisa’s face fell.

“She, um…” she struggled to find the words. “She’s…not doing so well.”

Kageyama sighed. “I knew it. She’s probably suffering so much, she’s in so much pain, but there’s a way to get her out of it—"

“Tobio,” she said, in a small voice.

Kageyama tilted his head. “What is it?”

“Y/N, she…”

“She what?”

Alisa looked down, taking her time to respond. When she opened her mouth to do so, however, she was interrupted.

“Oi, Kageyama!”

Kageyama looked over his shoulder to see Hinata, raising his boxing gloves. “You promised you’d help me spar today, you bastard!” the orange-haired hitman yelled.

“Ah, fuck.” Kageyama turned back to Alisa, his expression apologetic. “Sorry, but can we talk about this later?”

As he let go of her, she felt her hands shake, and found herself unable to reply. The strength came to her at last, just as he was about to walk away.

“U-um!”

Before she knew it, her hand had shot out to grasp his, causing him to—quite literally—freeze in his tracks. He looked over his shoulder at her questioningly, as she tried to settle her racing pulse.

“I, uh…” she swallowed. “I…want to wish you good luck on the mission. And I hope you get what you’re looking for.”

Kageyama blinked in confusion. “Oh…thanks. I guess.”

And with that, she let go.

“Dude, what was that?” Hinata teased, as soon as Kageyama started walking with him.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “What was what?”

“Man, she’s in love with you!”

“No, she’s not.”

“She is, too!”

“Is not.”

“Is, too!”

“…is not.”

“Is, too!”

 

* * *

 

He watched, for the umpteenth time, as Y/N brought down another recruit.

The men were proficient, obviously. Anyone who had the balls to face Y/N were the kind of people Kuroo needed. Obviously, he had to have people who were crazy enough to take on the Imperial Palace, and the royal family’s guards—but somehow, it wasn’t enough for him.

“Lev,” Kuroo called. “Get everyone over here.”

Lev responded, and soon enough, the center of the training arena was packed with sweaty trainees.

As soon as Y/N’s most recent sparring partner had the strength to leave the mat, Kuroo spoke up. “We’ve been training for months,” he announced to the whole room. “But still, none of you can take her down. Why’s that?”

Y/N placed her hands on her hips, pushing her slightly damp hair back as she caught her breath.

Murmurs filled the room, before one trainee had the guts to respond. “She’s too strong, Kuroo-san,” he said. “Inhumanely strong.”

Kuroo smirked. “True enough. Well, what if I told you that you can be as strong as she is, right now, in an instant?”

Numerous eyebrows shot up across the room. Kuroo motioned for Kai to come forward, holding what seemingly looked like a glass of half-full water. At the sight of it, however, Y/N raised an eyebrow.

Kuroo held the glass up for everyone to see. “This is the secret to the best performance in combat. Strength, speed, agility—you name it, this baby can enhance it.”

He downed the glass in a single gulp, before he spoke again. “And I’ll give it to those who win this bet.”

“Bet? What bet?” The trainees whispered among themselves. They quieted down, when Kuroo shrugged out of his jacket, and handed it to Lev.

He stretched his arms out before walking out onto the mat. He beckoned Y/N forward with a curl of his finger, to which she responded to with a nasty grin.

“Show me what you got, baby,” he challenged her.

She grinned. “Be gentle. It’s my first time.”

He was absolutely floored by the way she was pliant in his grasp now, like a lump of clay that he was free to mold to his own liking. He knew he’d made the right choice, agreeing to the deal that Y/N made with him so she could see Aki, knowing the kid would be hurt beyond measure to the point that he would say something so hurtful. And he played with his observation that Alisa was wearing Kageyama Tobio’s jacket, something he knew would be the final blow to Y/N’s pride.

Following that incident, she drowned herself in so much hallucinogen, the Phoenix serum, and the healing gas that she’d managed to convince herself that her place was here. She nearly overdosed, but she was so determined to forget, she couldn’t have cared any less.

Not that Kuroo was complaining. Y/N had gone back to her old self, the Nekoma Y/N, and it was a lot easier compared to the time she was still struggling. The beauty of it was that with her restored loyalty to Nekoma, came her loyalty to him. The obsession, her want, her _need_ for him—he reveled in the feeling.

His fist shot out, barely giving Y/N enough time to dodge it. But the force was enough to ripple her hair as it missed the top of her head, and she could literally feel the _woosh_ that came with the motion. He tried it again, with the other hand, but she danced out of his grasp, too.

He lunged forward, aiming for her neck, but she cartwheeled out of his way, landing in the spot where he had been standing previously. He turned to her, blowing the hair out of his eyes.

Y/N’s eyes were trained on him, boring into him as a jaguar might have done.

They gravitated to each other, simultaneously wanting the ordeal to end as well as to stand in the other’s presence longer. Kuroo knew what she was doing: playing full-on defense to make him look like a complete fool, flailing around desperately trying to catch her.

As if she had realized that he’d figured her out, she smiled devilishly.

_You’re a sadistic one, aren’t you?_ he thought, as he struck once more.

She smacked his arm away, twisted under the jab that had meant to collide with her skull, and led him through a hopeless struggle for dominance.

He finally managed to seize her arms and pin them to her sides, putting an end to her incessant dancing, and forcing her to look at him, defiance clear in her eyes.

Kuroo grinned, lifting his hand to hold her chin up, only realizing his mistake when she shook herself loose from his hold. It took less than a second for her to duck under his arm, toss herself over his head with nothing but her grip on his shoulders for leverage, and finally, throw him across the mat with the strength of ten men.

But he had tricks of his own, thanks to the Phoenix serum burning through his veins. He stood back up just as quickly and dashed towards her. As he slid under her, he anticipated that she would jump. But this time, he saw it in slow motion; as she jumped, his hand shot out to grasp her ankle, and yanked her down.

Y/N hit the ground with a pained grunt, and before she knew it, Kuroo had cartwheeled over her, throwing her by her ankle across the mat.

As her rolling came to a stop on the ground, she raised herself on her elbows and fixed Kuroo with a look that said, _Really?_

_Well,_ she thought. _It’s the first time I’ve hit the ground in weeks._

But the fire was still there, pushing her to get up and speed back to Kuroo.

The entire room was in awe, holding their breath as they watched their two leaders battle it out. Some were placing their bets on Y/N, others, on Kuroo.

“200 yen says it’s Kuroo,” Yaku whispered.

“You’re on,” Yamamoto whispered back.

The murmuring came to a halt once more, as a terrifying _crack_ tore through the air. Heads turned to see what it was, expecting a bolt of lightning to have somehow manifested in the arena. Instead, it was Y/N, looking slightly battered and out of breath, wielding her bullwhip, which she had somehow been carrying all this time.

“Aww, that’s not fair, kitten,” Kuroo complained. “I thought pretty girls were supposed to be nice.”

“I thought boys were supposed to man up,” Y/N fired back, though her amused expression contradicted her venomous tone.

She cracked her whip once more, and whirled it over her head, causing the people within a three-meter radius of her to back up rapidly. It clearly sent a message to Kuroo: _If you want to give them a show, better make it count._

Y/N lashed out, and Kuroo dodged the whip as it made contact with the ground that he had been standing on. But he had to move again, as she quickly moved to strike his current position.

The third time she struck, he forced himself to catch it, letting the white-hot leather wrap around his hand. He hissed as the impact hit, and he was willing to bet that if he hadn’t been on the serum, the whip would have shattered his entire hand.

He took a moment to admire the look of surprise on Y/N’s face, before he yanked her forward. He dashed around her, taking all her attempts to free herself as opportunities to entangle herself even more. And before anyone knew it, she found herself completely wrapped up in her own weapon, bound for everyone to see.

Y/N hit the ground hard, struggling feebly.

“Sorry, kitten,” she heard Kuroo say from above her, before he kissed the top of her head. “But you brought this onto yourself.”

Shocked gasps and murmurs of admiration filled the room, as well as high-fives coming from those who had won personal bets.

“Thank you,” Yaku said smugly.

“Shut up,” Yamamoto grumbled, as he passed Yaku some bills.

“Everyone gets a glass,” Kuroo’s voice boomed. “We’ll drink again, in three days’ time. Let’s usher in a new era of Japan with sheer force and power!”

The room erupted in cheers.


	18. it's complicated (Severed snippet)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! as a Christmas gift to all of you for your support (despite my despicable updating schedule), I'll be posting 2 bonus chapters!
> 
> This is bonus chapter 1, a glimpse into the prequel of this series, which is officially titled "Severed". It explores reader and Kuroo's life before the events of Stained and Stitched, so hooray for university AUs! I've started writing a few chapters, but I won't be posting anything until Stained is finished (which it nearly is). You can find the other bonus chapter for Severed in the previous work, Stained.
> 
> Bonus chapter 2, which I am still writing, is a Christmas special. I won't give anything away, but please do look forward to it.
> 
> Thank you all for a wonderful year, for the support and the comments! I do read each and every one, and it warms my heart to know that you guys still enjoy the content that I post here. This series means a lot to me, as does Haikyuu, and many of the things I've written reflect what I feel in real life. So thank you for letting me write to feel better, and I hope you guys have better days, especially with the holidays coming up. Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! All the love ❤

“One more!” Kizana insisted, laughing.

“Okay, okay,” Kuroo said, chuckling as Kizana shoved a cup into his hand. “Say, have you seen Y/N around?”

“Y/N? Way to ruin the mood, Kuroo.” she replied, a sour look on her face.

“I was just asking, Jesus. What’s your deal anyway?”

“There’s no deal,” a clearly drunk Raizen interrupted, slinging his arm over Kizana and hiccuping slightly. “Only that Y/N’s the best thing since sliced bread. I knew she was smart, but damn—there’s no one in our year as fine as her.”

“Typical,” Kizana grumbled, attempting to shove Raizen off her. “Men. You worship everything that has an ass curve measuring 150 degrees or higher.”

“Not my fault you're so jealous of her.”

“Wha—n-no, I’m not!”

Kuroo rolled his eyes and turned away from the two, only taking three steps from his spot before his eye caught a familiar figure passing through a crowd.

“Hey, Y/N!” he called. She turned, searching for the source of the voice before she finally found him.

The smile that spread across her face made his heart race.

“You made it,” Y/N said as she approached. She raised an eyebrow at the cup in his hand. “And having a little fun, I see. How’s everything?”

“It’s cool. Everything’s cool,” he said, grinning. “Been looking for you everywhere, though.”

“Well, here I am,” she replied, spreading her arms out like she was some grand prize. “What’s up?”

“I figured I needed to thank the host for so graciously inviting me to her humble abode,” he smirked, his spirits rising as she giggled. “Even though she has already caught me stalking her on and off campus.”

Y/N laughed, and lightly shoved Kuroo. “No need. Just take your time and enjoy everything.”

“I mean it, though,” he said, plucking his courage up and moving closer to her. “Thank you. For inviting me and for keeping what happened in Rika’s house under wraps.”

She flashed him that mysterious smile once more, the smile that intrigued him and made him ache to learn more about her. “I told you, didn't I?” she said, lowering her voice. “I have a lot more secrets within my keeping. I think I can handle a narrow escape from arrest.”

“Really?” he said, daring to put his hands on her waist. He grinned as she pulled herself closer to him, a smirk of her own spreading across her face.

“Mmhmm,” Y/N whispered, letting her finger slide down his chest and causing his grin to widen. “I'm pretty dangerous, you know. I know things you don't know. That puts you at an disadvantage.”

“Let me hear them all, so we can be on equal grounds,” he replied, playfully spinning her around so her back was to his chest.

At that moment, however, somebody had spotted them.

“Hey, Y/N!”

“Futakuchi!” Y/N exclaimed, and Kuroo dropped his hands rather reluctantly as she ran to a brown-haired boy in her year.

“So,” Yaku said, sidling up to him. “How’s that raging boner coming along?”

Kuroo scowled, adjusting his pants. “Shut up, Yaku.”

Yaku laughed, folding his arms. “I don’t blame you, man. She’s definitely a sight for sore eyes. And damn, mine are burning.”

Kuroo watched as Futakuchi pulled Y/N in for a dance, the latter throwing her head back and laughing shamelessly as they moved to the beat.

“By the way,” Yaku dropped his voice. “Nekomata-sensei’s been calling. He’s starting to get impatient.”

Kuroo eyed his best friend warily, exhaling slowly through his nose. “Tell him to wait,” he said gruffly. “It’s not easy trying to convince people to join an illegal organization.”

“I think he’s getting threatened by Fukurodani,” Yaku said. “Bokuto’s wealthy and prestigious, and once you get past his obnoxiously loud mouth he’s actually pretty charismatic - “

“Bokuto,” Kuroo interrupted. “Has his own way of getting things. I have my own. I don’t want a fight.” But as his own words sunk in, they left behind a bitter taste in his mouth, making him question whether or not he could simply ignore how Bokuto could easily gain members for Fukurodani. They both wanted the same thing - money and power - but while Kuroo knew that nothing of that sort ever came easy, he couldn’t help but wish he had some kind of extraordinary factor that could somehow tip the scales in his favor.

Like… His eyes drifted over to the dance floor.

“Hellooo, earth to Kuroo?” Yaku was asking. When it was clear that Kuroo had spaced out, Yaku rolled his eyes. “Whatever, dude. You want a drink or something?”

“Yeah, I’ll come with,” Kuroo said distractedly, watching her.

There was definitely something that drew him to Y/N, and he knew that he wasn’t the only one. He pitied the poor souls that found themselves on the other end of her piercing stare and her devilish smirk, unable to decide whether they were absolutely terrified or aroused. He would know, because he was one of them.

She came as a surprise to him, as he was unable to explain even to himself why someone he just met would have this kind of impact on him. He could use the basic excuse: she was hot, and he was digging the whole Selina Kyle “anti-hero with a tragic backstory” thing with her. For the first time in his life, Kuroo couldn’t think of a situation that would allow him to say no to her.

Which was why he needed her, now more than ever.

He watched as she slid her hands into her hair, head thrown back and lips parted as she lost herself in the music. Futakuchi looked transfixed, to say the least, as he gripped her hips and brought his bottom lip between his teeth.

“C’mon,” Yaku tugged at Kuroo’s shirt, making him look away as Y/N’s hands snuck up Futakuchi’s front. “Drinks are that way.”

“Right,” Kuroo said, stealing a glance over his shoulder at the sight.

She really is full of surprises, he thought as he watched Y/N’s mouth collide with Futakuchi’s, the two practically glued together on the dance floor.

After all, that bitter feeling in his stomach at the sight was definitely unexpected.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure why he stuck around, long after the last group of tipsy teenagers had exited clumsily out the back door. He knew that no one else was around, as Yaku had gone home, complaining of a stomachache. So, like the good friend that he was, Kuroo walked him to the door and sent him off into the night with a heavy pat on the shoulder.

Y/N’s house didn’t look too orderly, but it was a better sight than the other parties Kuroo had gone to. Maybe it was because she kept nearly everyone on a tight leash, making sure they cleaned up after themselves and knew where the bathroom was. One of her strange quirks? Kuroo thought in amusement.

He found her in the middle of her living room, sipping from a can of Pepsi and lounging on her couch. He couldn’t remove the image of her and Futakuchi swapping spit, nor could he digest the fact that she was looking so nonchalant about it.

“Not too shitfaced, I see?” he asked, his lips tilting up slightly as she turned to him with a start.

“Yeah,” she responded, once the initial shock had settled. “I can’t trust anyone with the house except myself. Wouldn’t want anyone breaking my stuff.”

“I see,” Kuroo said, leaning on the back of the couch. “So, you and Futakuchi?”

“Mmm.” She hummed non-commitedly, taking a sip from her can.

“How long has that been going on?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” she said, standing up. “It’s happening. That’s all.”

“So you don’t care how it started? Or how it ends?” he asked, watching as she made her way to the kitchen to dispose of her drink.

“It’s not like that,” Y/N replied, sweeping the cans and bottles off the counter and into the bin that she had pushed out. “I just don’t want to complicate things. I find that overthinking is a bitch when you’ve got no one but yourself for company.”

Kuroo pushed himself off the couch. “I don’t think you can fall in love without the complications.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow as she straightened, dusting her hands off. “Meaning?”

“I mean, people are very complicated,” he said, watching as she made her way over to him. “It may not mean anything to you, but it may be everything to him. He’s a complicated person, you’re not. That’s a complication in itself.”

“What would make him think it’s everything?” she asked, as soon as she had positioned herself in front of him. “He can’t possibly be head-over-heels for silly old me.”

“Well, sweetheart,” he replied, the smoothness in his tone matching the sarcasm in hers. “You may not notice, but you’re kind of hot. I’d say that in that dress, 80% of men won’t let you leave without them having their way with you.”

“But you’re a part of the 20%?” she taunted.

“No, I’d say I’m a part of that 0.05% that would give you a choice,” Kuroo said, reaching out to touch the stray hairs that framed her face. The smirk on her face only widened as his fingers danced down her cheek.

“You can walk away, and pretend that you don’t feel something right here, and right now,” his voice lowered as she narrowed the gap between them. “Or you could be a part of something bigger than yourself.”

It took a while before she responded, but when she did, it escaped her in a breathless whisper.

“Keep this a secret?”

Kuroo grinned as her hand slid into his, pulling him upstairs.


	19. phantom touches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update schedule who? I don't know her

There’s a strange kind of silence that settles over a city in the wee hours of the morning, even in big cities such as Tokyo. The usual hustle and bustle of the environment dulls down considerably, as if a blanket had somehow covered the noise that comes with the people, the shops, the cars, and the overall ambience.

It's the kind of silence that comes before a sudden event, much like the silence that falls in between flashes of lightning and thunder. Like the sound of the water after it crashes onto the shore, waiting for yet another wave to come collide with the sand.

The city was waiting. Holding its breath, ready for the moment that all hell would break loose.

And so she waited, as well. Counting the breaths that escaped her, knowing they were numbered. Her fingers skimmed across the keyboard, debating over whether she should continue or not. She had it all planned out – planning was always one of her strongest suits – but even so, she hesitated. If she fucked it up, more than one person would lose their lives.

There was also the question of how she would explain herself once all of this was over. Would it be seen as her saving her own skin and pitting two mafias against each other? Would she be known as someone who actively sought out trouble? Or would she be hailed as a hero, who finished the war before it even started?

_Hero…_ she mused. She had been called many things, but not hero. Never hero.

Y/N gazed at herself through the laptop’s camera, trying in vain to make herself look presentable. Of course, looking anywhere near pretty was impossible when you look like a corpse.

“Phase 1 begins,” she whispered, as she hit record.

 

* * *

 

At around 6 in the evening, Haiba Lev came knocking on her door. “Y/N?” he called. “You called?”

“Yeah, come in,” she answered.

“Pardon the intrusion,” he mumbled, as he entered her room and closed the door behind him. He pushed the hair out of his eyes to see Y/N, sitting by the window, her Persian cat Anne resting contentedly on her lap.  
She looked – dare he say it – peaceful.

“What’s up?” he asked, walking over to stand by the window across from her. “You doing alright?”

Y/N hummed noncommittally. “Lev, I need you to do something for me.”

“Sure. What is it?”

She pointed to a CD case that was sitting on her desk, next to the laptop. “I need you to get that to Karasuno. As soon as possible.”  
Lev frowned. “Uh…why me? I mean – how would I know how to – “

“Oh, you know,” Y/N answered, and it pleasantly surprised him to see that familiar mischievous glint in her eyes when she turned to look at him. “I know you do.”

Lev paused for a moment before letting out a laugh, shaking his head, and brushing his hair out of his face. “Nothing gets past you after all, eh?”

Y/N cracked a smile, but it disappeared quickly. “And another thing, too,” she said quietly. “I’ve got a plan. There’s no one else I can trust here with it. Only you.”

“You must be really desperate to come to me for help, then.”

“Tell me about it,” she grumbled, scratching behind Anne’s ears. “But there’s a reason for that. What I’m about to do…is to put people’s lives at risk, including my own, and yours. If this goes well, we’ll be out of Nekoma in no time with as little casualties as possible. But if things go south…well, we’d be looking at war. Hundreds, maybe thousands dead. The blood would be on our hands. And no one would ever know what they were fighting for.”

Lev turned to look at Y/N, and saw, for the first time, a face full of worry. She was always calm and confident, even in trying times. But it was clear that she had no idea what she was going to do except for whatever she had planned – and, in truth, it looked like she wouldn’t get out of it unscathed.

“If it’s something that involves you getting hurt, I’m not getting in on it,” he said.

“It won’t,” she promised. “Well…not really hurt, per se. But I really need you on this. I can’t tell you what it is unless I know you’ll stand by me every step of the way. No matter what happens.”

“But what if you do get hurt?” Lev asked. “Are you really willing to risk your own life on the off chance that it could save others?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Wouldn’t you?”

Lev opened his mouth, as if to answer, but quickly closed it.

Y/N turned to look at him – really look at him. “I’ve watched you grow up, Lev,” she said. “I’ve trained you to feel nothing when your muscles give up or to keep going even though your bones shatter. I’ve seen you cry, get angry, and I’ve seen you smile. You’re the closest thing I have to family here. Don’t think that it isn’t hard for me to ask you to risk it all for my sake.”

Lev sighed, and reached out to grasp her hand. Unsurprisingly, it was cold to the touch.

“You know I’d do anything for you,” he said. He jumped slightly as Anne sniffed his hand daintily, before pushing her head under his palm. Y/N smiled at the sight.

“Thank you, Lev,” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

“Pardon the intrusion,” Kageyama called, as he opened the door to the training center. He was met by a series of greetings, mixed with the sounds of clashing weapons, as well as fists hitting skin.

“Good morning, Kageyama,” Kiyoko greeted. He turned to see the eldest girl in Karasuno observing a group of trainees (who, in truth, were observing her more). “Come to train, too? Or help with instructing?”

Kageyama lifted his hand wraps for her to see. “I was going to train by myself, but…looks like there’s no space.”

“Oh, I’m just finishing up here,” Kiyoko said, gesturing to the group before her. “While you’re waiting, do you mind if you spar a bit with them?”

“Sure.”

Hinata, who happened to come across the scene, noticed a group of girl trainees whispering excitedly to one another as Kiyoko called for them to gather round. Their voices grew louder the closer he got to Kageyama.

“Did you hear? We’ll be sparring with Kageyama-san!” One whispered quite loudly, just barely containing her glee.

“Seriously? He’s so freaking hot!”

Hinata’s eye twitched. _Freaking…hot_?

“Totally! Did you see him spar with Akaashi-san the other day?”

“They’re both so cute, though!”

Hinata couldn’t believe his ears. Girls alone were confusing enough to him. But girls who found Kageyama attractive…? He couldn’t erase the image of Kageyama snoring away in his chair with his eyes wide open at one of the late-night meetings.

“I hope he doesn’t have anyone in mind, though.”

“But I saw him walking around with that pretty Russian girl yesterday!”

“Eh, really?” one of them whined. “Maybe they’re just friends. What if there’s someone else?”

“Well, whoever she is, she must be so lucky,” another said. “I mean, look at those eyes. And the hair, and those muscles…”  
The group of girls sighed dreamily in unison.

_Well, if Alisa-san found him attractive…_ Hinata reasoned. _And the whole thing with Y/N…wait. Is Kageyama **actually** hot_?

He glanced at the hitman, who took a while to notice that the former was staring at him.

Kageyama turned to him, his usual scowl carved deep into his face and his blue eyes blazing. “What?”

Hinata nearly breathed a sigh of relief. “Jeez, your face is so scary.”

“I was born with this face!”

“Leave some space in the middle,” Kiyoko was saying. “All right. Some of you will be sparring with Kageyama-kun today instead of me or your usual partners. Make sure to apply your skills in hand-to-hand combat and in making use of weapons.”

Kageyama looked up from his hand wraps to see one of the trainees hand Kiyoko a long wooden staff, and watched as she shrugged off her jacket.

“Ah – we’re sparring first?” he asked.

Kiyoko gave him a rare smile. “We should start with a demonstration, don’t you think?”

“Sure, but…” Kageyama held up his hands. “Do I get a weapon, or…?”

Kiyoko twirled the staff around in her hands as easily as she would with a ballpen. “Nope,” she said.

Sudden shouts came from across the room, and the group turned to see Nishinoya and Tanaka racing towards the area where they were.

“Kiyoko-san!” Tanaka shouted. “Be careful!”

“You might get a splinter!” Nishinoya added.

Sugawara, who happened to pass by, raised an eyebrow at their remarks. “Shimizu’s a highly-trained weapons specialist, and you worry about her getting a splinter?” he asked.

_That’s right_ , Kageyama remembered. _Kiyoko-san is the third best at using weapons, right after Asahi-san and…_

His eyes widened. He wanted to curse himself, knowing that even just thinking about her name would trigger something inside of him – something that he knew he couldn’t completely control. It seemed as if luck was not on his side today, as he felt the usual chill that danced down his spine, like a hand lazily tracing his back.

This phantom touch seemed to have flipped a switch, as he quite literally felt power surging through his body just watching Kiyoko spinning the staff around. He felt so invincible in that moment that he actually believed that if he took a step forward, the floor would crack under his foot.

_You see_? Y/N’s voice crooned in his ear, making the hairs on his arms stand. _Even the mere thought of me gives you strength. Go on. Rely on me more. Ravish me as much as you want. I can make you even more powerful than all the others here. I could make you a true king._

_Shut up_ , Kageyama thought, clenching his jaw and holding up his fists. _This is just practice. This is just a demonstration. This isn’t –_

“Kageyama!”

Hinata’s voice snapped him out of his trance, and Kageyama barely had time to dodge the staff that Kiyoko had violently swung towards his left temple. _Damn_ , he growled in his head. _I’ve been so preoccupied that I didn’t hear her say to begin_?

Watching Kiyoko dance around him, spinning her staff so quickly that it looked as if she would take off with it at any minute made him dizzy, a result of his evident slacking-off at the beginning of the duel. For a few moments, all he could do was dodge the staff that would come hurtling towards various parts of his body at random intervals.

Suddenly, his hand lashed out against his own will, making his head snap towards the direction it was going to. Kageyama only processed what had happened only after his senses picked up the sharp sting and the sound of something hitting his skin; he had caught the staff, which was aiming for his head.

Kiyoko’s eyes widened for a margin of a second before she yanked her staff back, planted it firmly on the ground, and used it as leverage for a high flying kick. Kageyama blocked that, too, pushing Kiyoko’s leg far enough to make her stumble.

Despite Tanaka and Nishinoya’s angry outbursts, Kageyama continued, holding his ground against Kiyoko quite fairly, given that he had nothing to arm himself with.

“Hey, Hinata,” Sugawara called, walking over to the orange-haired hitman after scolding Tanaka and Nishinoya for being too loud.

“Hey, Suga-san,” Hinata replied, not taking his eyes off the two sparring in front of a growing crowd.

“I was wondering if you could tell me something,” Sugawara said. “Something about Kageyama.”

Hinata turned to Karasuno’s second-in-command, tilting his head to the side to indicate that he was listening.

“Have you noticed anything strange about him recently?”

“Something strange?” Hinata repeated, turning back to look at the hitman in question. He placed a finger to his chin thoughtfully. _Where exactly does **strange** begin with Kageyama_? “I guess…he’s been training more?”

“I think we’ve all been training more,” Sugawara stated. “No, that’s not it.”

He frowned and pursed his lips, trying to

pinpoint the exact thing that was making him feel a little off when it came to Kageyama. He was already naturally powerful, there was no mistaking that. But his movements, his style of fighting were…different. It wasn’t Kageyama’s natural style, the precise and calculated one. This seemed smoother, more fluid, more…

Sugawara’s eyes widened.

More… _feline_.

He shook his head, as if he could physically throw the thought that was riding around in his head off. It was an absurd assumption. It wasn’t uncommon for fighters to copy each other’s styles, especially if they’d known each other long enough. But the fact that it was hers that Kageyama had chosen to imitate…somehow, it felt a little suspicious.

The fight had barely gone on for three minutes, but it seemed as if Kageyama wanted to end things early. Kiyoko lunged forward with a quick jab to the gut, something that he caught as easily as if he could see it in slow motion. He sidestepped, yanked the staff (and Kiyoko, who was on the other end) forward, and swung his leg down over it, cleanly snapping the wood in half.

Every jaw within the proximity dropped. Hinata let out a terrified squeak. Sugawara felt the blood drain out of his face as he watched a shocked Kiyoko actually back up, cautiously raising her fists in front of her. The look in Kageyama’s eyes were unreadable.

_This is not Kageyama_ , Sugawara thought. His breath hitched in his throat as Kageyama took a step forward towards Kiyoko, and it seemed as if the whole room had stopped breathing as well.

Then, he stopped.

He remained motionless for a few seconds before leaning down, checking his heel for something Sugawara couldn’t see.

“Oi, what is he doing?”

“What happened? Did he twist his ankle? Hurt his foot?”

“Who won?”

The whispers went on for as long as Kageyama spent checking his heel, before straightening up. He held up something wedged between his index finger and thumb.

“Got a splinter,” he told a dumbfounded Kiyoko.

Absolute silence fell in the room.

“Pfft.”

The sudden noise came from Nishinoya, who had slapped his hand over his mouth. Tanaka pounded his back, mouth pressed in a tight-lipped smile.

Beside Sugawara, Hinata erupted into furious giggles, just barely managing to stifle them behind his fists. Then, laughter ensued in the area.

“Are you actually kidding?!”

“He stopped a badass duel because of a splinter?”

“You’ve got to be joking!”

Sugawara finally let out a laugh, some of the tension in the air lifting as he saw Kiyoko break into a smile and let small laughs escape from her lips. Kageyama, having realized that he was the one being laughed at, turned bright pink and started yelling at Hinata, as if he had something to do with the incident.

Suddenly, the doors to the training center opened, forcing everyone to quiet down as Daichi and Ennoshita came running in. “Suga, everyone from Karasuno,” Daichi called, in his booming voice. To everyone’s surprise, he sounded…panicked. Ennoshita’s expression didn’t make things any better. Sugawara swallowed thickly; something bad must have happened.

“Come on, guys,” he called out to the rest of his members, trying to sound calm. “All of you, back to work!”

No one dared to defy or answer back, and one by one, the Karasuno members began piling out of the training center.

After making sure Kiyoko was alright, Kageyama caught up to Hinata while unwrapping his hand wraps. “What’s this all about?” he asked.

“How should I know?” Hinata retorted, but there was no venom laced in his tone. Just pure unease.

They followed Daichi and the others into the main office, where they could clearly hear something going on. As soon as Daichi had opened the door, the first thing that greeted them was a shard of china hurtling towards them at lightning speed. Yachi yelped as it crashed into the wall just inches from her face.

The office was in complete chaos. Bokuto was yelling profanities, the pile various broken objects around him growing rapidly, and it didn’t look like Akaashi was stopping him. Kenma was unnaturally pale, muttering something that sounded like “no” and “it can’t be” under his breath as he furiously clicked away on his computer. But the true horror of the moment was summed up in Tsukishima, who was sitting in his usual chair.

His face was devoid of all life, eyes blank, mouth unmoving. In fact, it seemed like his entire body was immobile – he was stiff as a statue, forever painted with a look so empty, he barely looked alive.

“I’m going to kill that fucking bastard!” Bokuto bellowed, literally storming out of the room. Akaashi, whose disposition was always calm and collected, actually looked livid and was hot on Fukurodanj’s Alpha’s heels.

“Oi,” Asahi said, voice low and trembling. “What happened?”

Daichi wordlessly walked over to the computer and moved the monitor to face the group. Kenma didn’t seem to mind, not when he had his head in his hands. The members of Karasuno huddled around to see what was on the monitor, and what they saw pulled various reactions out of each individual.

Kageyama looked up at Tsukishima, who seemed to have stopped breathing altogether. He couldn’t say that he blamed the blonde – once his eyes focused on the image on the screen, his vision dimmed around the edges.

“This is a sign,” Daichi said grimly. “This is a declaration of war.”

And what a declaration it was – to be greeted with the sight of a live CCTV feed showing Y/N lying front down on the floor of her room, pale and unmoving.


	20. birds of prey

It was raining on the day that she died.

Inouka’s unearthly shriek of terror filled the halls of the dormitories, causing a commotion and forcing high-ranking members to intervene.

“Alright, everyone go back to your knitting,” Yamamoto said gruffly, shooing the members that came flocking to the scene. He was joined by Yaku, who looked more annoyed than concerned.

“This better be good,” Nekoma’s second-in-command remarked as he and Yamamoto entered the room where Inouka was, which happened to be Y/N’s. “Inouka, I’ve never heard someone scream louder than the time Yamamoto found a spider in the bathroom – “

Yaku stopped in the middle of his sentence, and even Yamamoto, who had opened his mouth to protest, fell silent, as they stared at Y/N’s limp and unresponsive body next to a terrified Inouka.

“Fuck,” Yamamoto swore under his breath.

“I just – I came in here with some snacks – and – “ Inouka’s rambling was cut off by Yaku rushing to Y/N, thoroughly examining her. He felt a shiver run down his spine as his hand made contact with her skin, which was cold as ice.

Y/N’s lips were cracked and dry, and they were just as horrifyingly pale as the rest of her body was. He fumbled around for a pulse, and to his dread, he found none.

“Is it an overdose?” Inouka whispered.

Yaku searched the surroundings for any evidence that she had indeed overdosed. True enough, a spilled bottle of pills lay just a few meters away from where her hand once was. He looked up at Yamamoto, who looked just as shocked.

“It’s an overdose,” Yaku confirmed.

“Shit,” Yamamoto cursed, placing a hand on his forehead in distress. “This is bad. This is really, really bad.”

Yaku turned to Inouka. “What time did you find her?” he asked.

“Five minutes ago,” Inouka shakily responded.

“Then she’s been gone for a while,” Yaku said. “From the looks of it, she might have taken it after lunch…”

“What do we do, Yaku?” Yamamoto asked. “We can’t let Kuroo find out about – “

“Find out about what?”

Yaku’s blood drained from his entire face.

The three turned to see Kuroo, who had appeared in the doorway. Inouka whimpered in fear.

“Kuroo…” Yamamoto struggled to gain the words.

“I came down here to see what the ruckus was all about,” Kuroo said dryly. “What happened?”

His face was unreadable, and so was his tone. Yaku searched for any hint of anger, sadness, or any other form of emotion, but all he found was Kuroo’s regular bitter tone.

“She was just lying there,” he said. “Overdosed.”

Kuroo’s face was still scarily impassive. His eyes scanned the room quickly, as if he was searching for the perpetrator. It was silent, save for the heavy downpour outside, coupled with thunder and lightning.

His eyes fell on Anne, who had been sitting on her cat bed near Y/N’s desk. He watched as she jumped down from the cushions to walk over to her former owner, who was still lying limp in Yaku’s arms. She gave Y/N’s hand a dainty sniff, before sitting down and gazing at Kuroo pointedly. He met her gaze with an unreadavle expeession.

Before anyone could speak, the lights over their heads flickered before eventually turning off.

“Damn it,” Kuroo muttered. “Send Lev down here to get her. I have shit to do.”

And with that, Kuroo turned on his heel and took off.

 

* * *

It was barely 4 in the afternoon, but it was already as dark as night – and the fact that there was a blackout didn’t make things any easier.

_Fuck, the power_ , Kuroo thought, pushing himself off the wall that he was leaning on. He hurried toward his office, quickly closing the door as he entered. He let out a shaky breath as he locked it, trying to calm himself down.

Perhaps it was the fact that he could barely see anything in the room, save for the times lightning flashed outside his window. But suddenly, he tensed, feeling the hairs on his neck stand up and his senses going into overdrive.

Despite himself, Kuroo smiled.

“Not many people can sneak into headquarters alive, let alone my office,” he remarked, turning around. “Well, I guess that can be expected of you. You know me better than anyone else, I think.”

Lightning flashed, illuminating the figure that was sitting in Kuroo’s office chair. It was faint, but he could clearly see the bright onyx eyes, similar to his own, zeroing in on him with a bird-like stare.

Kuroo turned around and leaned on the door casually. “It’s been a while since I last saw you,” he said. “Bokuto.”

Lightning flashed once more, this time bright enough to reveal Bokuto Kotarou, fingers laced together in front of him. Kuroo shifted his eyes slightly to the right, only now noticing another tall figure standing near Fukurodani’s Alpha.

“Hello to you, too, Akaashi,” he added.

“Kuroo-san.” Akaashi’s tone was as polite and impassive as always.

“I see you’ve found a way to cut off our power supply,” Kuroo continued. “No one outside Nekoma knows how our wirings work. Let me guess…you got Kenma to do it. He escaped so he could help you.”

“That’s the funny thing about you, Kuroo,” Bokuto spoke. “The people that you need the most are the ones you toss aside. Your best friend, your childhood friend…even the girl you claim to love.”

“Don’t pretend that you weren’t willing to do the same back then,” Kuroo replied. “We promised. All three of us did. I’m the only one who continued to see it through.”

“Because we saw the truth,” Bokuto stated plainly. “You were too fixated on what you could get instead of how you could get it. The ends won’t justify the means, Kuroo. Not this time.”

Kuroo smirked. “How much of this is you talking?” he asked. “Am I hearing this from the son of a royal advisor, or the Boss of a top mafia organization?”

“Who says I can’t be both?” Bokuto shrugged. “I exist between two sides of this war. I keep the balance. And you, old friend, are trying to disrupt said balance.”

“Balance…” Kuroo mused, fiddling around with his sleeve. “I’ve always associated balance with stagnancy. With balance, there is no change. With no change, there is no progress. You stand idly about, pretending that you can walk on a grey area. There is no grey area. Only power and weakness. And I chose to be powerful.”

He raised his head, looking directly at Bokuto. “I loved her,” he said. “I loved Y/N and you know it. You knew how serious I was about her, so you can’t say that there wasn’t a day that she spent here that I didn’t regret what I was doing to her.”

Bokuto abruptly stood, his hands slamming into the table as he did so. “Listen, I don’t know where all this sappy shit is coming from,” he snarled. “But you can save it for someone who’s dumb enough to believe it.”

“Oh, Bokuto,” Kuroo smiled. “I told you many years ago that I would never lie to you. You may know me well, but never forget that I have always been able to read you like an open book.”

The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating. Bokuto could be heard inhaling deeply as his hand drifted to the gun in his holster.

“You’re still so unbearably full of yourself,” Kuroo said, the sneer evident in his tone. “You really think you can take me on alone?”

“He’s not alone,” Akaashi interjected quietly.

“Oh, right.” Kuroo feigned surprise, lightly tapping himself on his forehead. “Is that why Sawamura Daichi and the rest of Karasuno are in the lobby right now?”

Bokuto moved quickly; he had whipped out his gun and pulled the trigger at the same time a bolt of lightning lit up the sky. Kuroo dodged it neatly, pulled a knife out of his sleeve, and chucked it at the two heads of Fukurodani.

Bokuto and Akaashi leaned away as the blade shattered the window behind them, allowing the storm outside to flood in.

“Missed,” Bokuto scoffed, as he turned back to Kuroo.

But to his surprise, Kuroo was disappearing behind the door, downing a suspicious-looking liquid that illuminated his veins, a cat-like grin on his face.

 

* * *

 

Everything had gone to shit.

Kageyama had no idea where all those Nekoma members had come from, but it seemed as if Kuroo had once again managed to thwart their efforts.

He cleared the first floor of the dormitories with Hinata, but they just kept coming in a flurry of black and red. But he didn’t care how many he took down, or how he took them down – he had to get to Y/N. Or…what was left of her, anyway.

“Group C in the southern wing,” Kiyoko, who was leading a group full of Fukurodani and Karasuno members alike, reported through the earpiece. “We’re all clear here.”

“We are not clear!” Hinata exclaimed, as he contorted his entire body mid-air to dodge several strikes. “We are very not clear!”

Kageyama elbowed one member in the face, shot down the other, and managed to tackle one that was trying to get to Hinata. “Come on, dumbass. It’s like we’re in Hokkaido all over again.”

“You and I remember Hokkaido very differently,” Hinata responded gruffly, taking a deep breath before shooting the member that had him in a headlock.

Kageyama craned his neck over the remaining group of Nekoma members to see the corridor that would take him to Y/N’s room. He looked over at Hinata, who was clutching his side and looking exhausted.

“I gotta find her,” he said. “You think you can hold ‘em off?”

Hinata scrunched up his face, holding a weak thumbs-up. “I could do this all day.”

Kageyama cracked a smile, clapping Hinata’s shoulder before taking off down the hall.

He unsheathed the knives locked to his belt, running directly at the members who were coming towards him. He felt that familiar chill, that sudden sensation that felt like his muscles had turned into steel, and the rush of adrenaline that made his strides a little longer…

And a familiar laugh.

Just as he was about to collide with the Nekoma members, he dropped to his knees, sliding across the floor, his outstretched knives cleanly cutting into every single member’s guts.

And Kageyama was back up and running, making his way to her room as fast as he could.

He burst through the door, his eyes quickly scanning the room. It was left just as how they’d seen it through the cameras, only, Y/N was no longer in the room. Even the cat had disappeared.

“Damn it,” he muttered, continuing to look around. When his gaze fell on the laptop on her desk, he quickly ran over, opening it so quickly that he almost broke the screen.

His spirits rose as he found the laptop in sleep mode, as it was a good indicator that Y/N had purposefully left it that way. As naïve as that thought was, he took it anyway. While the sight of Y/N’s visibly dead body disturbed him greatly, something just didn’t _feel_ right about it.

An untitled folder had been left open, and judging by the way the laptop’s CD port had been left ejected, someone had been hastily burning files from the folder into a disc. The said files were a bunch of documents and several images, and Kageyama skimmed through them.

They were documents on the drugs that Kuroo had crafted; the strength, agility, and speed enhancer liquid, which was named Phoenix Tears, and the healing gas, which was named Phoenix Breath. The documents contained the chemical compositions of the two, symptoms, and other information. The images showed the early stages of the drugs, which took the forms of some kind of paste and pills, before showing their current states.

But what really caught Kageyama’s attention was, at the bottom of all those files, was a single one in a video format.

He clicked on the icon.

The video popped up, immediately showing a sickly but determined-looking Y/N, gazing at the camera with her familiar intense gaze.

Kageyama felt all of the air in his lungs leave in a single _woosh_ as he stared at her; felt his heart race and his throat close up as he reached out to touch the image of her on screen.

_“Daichi, everyone_ …” Y/N began, her voice thick and full of emotion. “ _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I dragged you all into this. I’m sorry that my past found itself wrapped up with the present…ruining the future. A future with all of you. I remember bits and pieces of the time you broke into Nekoma to save me, and…I remember fighting against you. I remember hurting some of you. It’s killing me inside to acknowledge that fact…that I was not myself, and that I was being controlled…and I’m so sorry. I truly am._

“ _You are my family. I say “are” because you still are, even if you might hate me for everything that happened. You guys were the first to really see me, who accepted me even if my record was stained bright red. You guys fought to save me from Shiratorizawa. You willingly took the risk and defended me – what I did to deserve that protection, I still don’t know. Despite all my secrets, despite the fact you knew so little about me…you trusted me. That meant so much to me, you have no idea_.”

A single tear escaped her eye, rolling down her cheek as she continued to speak.

_“I want to protect all of you, just as you have done with me. You cannot take on Kuroo alone, not while he has an army and is on both Phoenix Tears and Breath. I know how to end all this, but it will require tremendous sacrifice. The only way to stop Kuroo is to be a step further than he actually is; to do the one thing he will not expect us to do. I’ve done my part – now, it’s up to you to figure out what next. Only one of you will know what to do. Or…only one of you will have the strength._

_“On the off chance that this does not get to you before the news does, I want you all to know this.”_

At her next words, Kageyama shot up, his mind running at a million miles an hour. What he should do next, who he should tell, what car he should take…he was so preoccupied with those thoughts, he hadn’t realized that the video had ended.

“Wait, there’s gotta be more,” he mumbled, scanning the folder for more. Next to the video icon was a locked folder; when he clicked on it, he was presented with a 4-digit password, with the hint saying nothing but “birthday”.

He paused, trying to figure it out. She’d made it look so simple, yet it was harder than that.

He tried punching in Akihiro’s birthday – the 8th of August – but that didn’t work. He felt silly, but tried using his birthday – the 12th of December – but, unsurprisingly, it failed.

_Birthday…birthday…_ Kageyama thought. A sudden thought occurred to him, making him glance at the screen.

_She can’t mean…her birthday?_

No one knew the exact date of her birth – she always changed it on her certificates. She never celebrated it, either; she always said that her coming into the world wasn’t “something to blow balloons and bake a cake for”.

Still, he racked his brain for anything he could remember about her past, for something as simple as her birth date.

Alisa’s voice sounded in his head, and among the information about Y/N that he had insisted she cram into his brain, he could faintly hear a month, a date, and a year.

Hesitantly, he typed it in, not knowing if it would work or not.

He hit “Enter”, and the laptop seemed to stutter for a moment, as if it was surprised.

But it soon revealed the contents of the locked folder: a 10-second video, with a title that made his eyes go wide.

He clicked on “ _Kageyama_ ”.

It was her again, in the same position as the earlier video. From the looks of it, she had either filmed this one first or right after the former video.

“ _I love you_ ,” she said, a faint smile on her face. “ _I should have said it before, but I do. And it’s alright. You could never hurt me_.”

The video ended there.

Kageyama allowed the words to sink in, before getting up and leaving the room.

He found Hinata jogging towards him, looking beat-up but still alive. “Hey,” he said.

“You found her?”

“I’m in the wrong place,” Kageyama replied. “We all are.”

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Hinata had to run to keep up with Kageyama’s long strides as he made his way down to where every vehicle was parked. “What do you mean? Where are you going?”

Kageyama picked out the closest transportation in his reach – a motorcycle – and hopped on.

“I’m heading back to Miyagi,” he announced, revving up the motor and taking off.

 

* * *

 

Lev was continuously reaching up to fix his collar, feeling it getting tighter by the second. His hands were clammy on the wheel, but he forced them to stay on. Forced his eyes to remain on the road in front of him.

The instructions were clear. Every weapon she had fashioned herself while Kuroo wasn’t breathing down her neck was sitting in the front seat. All their personal belongings, including clothes, cash, and everything else were in the trunk.

“This is the last time I’ll be listening to you,” Lev hissed, feeling safe knowing she couldn’t hear him. He glanced at her quickly in the back seat before shuddering and keeping his eyes on the road. Her still and unmoving body still freaked him out.

Suddenly, the car in front of them jerked to a stop, causing Lev to swear loudly, slam hard on the breaks, and spin the wheel madly from side to side.

The car swerved dangerously, the tires screeching against the asphalt. By the time Lev opened his eyes, he could feel blood trickling down his temple and lips, and a numbing pain from where his nose was.

“Oh no,” he muttered, as members dressed in black and red uniforms started piling out of the car that had stopped in front of them. He noticed more of them pull up, making him wonder when they had been spotted.  
“He figured us out,” Lev whispered, before swearing again and grabbing the nearest thing – a pair of sleek leather gloves – to put over Y/N’s hands.

_Thank God for Plan B_ , he thought, as he slid them over her icy cold hands.

Before he could reach for a gun, the driver’s window shattered, and a hand struck the back of Lev’s head.

Stars dancing in his eyes, Lev loaded a gun and fired blindly. To his dismay, he hit no one.

He instead found himself being dragged out of the car, his concussion making things even more difficult.

“Haiba Lev,” one of the Nekoma members sneered, as Lev was forced to his knees in front of him.

“Kimura,” Lev snarled, recognizing him as one of the members that trained directly under Y/N with him years ago.

“The next Black Cat, I was told. But I suppose whoever has the title ends up becoming the same thing…a traitor.”

Lev glanced over his shoulder to see Y/N being hauled out of the car, limp as a rag doll.

The watch on the member’s wrist told him that he had mere minutes left – he just needed to hold on a little longer.

“You can tell Kuroo that we’re done playing his games,” he shouted, his voice sounding oddly garbled. Probably from the blood that was threatening to spill from his mouth.

“Oh, you’re done, alright,” Kimura replied. “And you’ve lost. Miserably, might I add.”

One minute. _Just a little longer_ , Lev thought.

“It’s a shame, though,” Kimura continued. “I would have liked to bring the fight back to headquarters. Maybe give your hot sister a little show.”

Lev roared in outrage, ignoring the pain and lashing out at Kimura. But he never got there, as the members behind him had forced him back down.

“Hmm. I guess not. I’ll just send her a little something that remind her of me,” Kimura said, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face as he raised his gun to press it against Lev’s forehead.

Meters away, lying on the wet earth, Y/N’s eyes flew open – just as Kimura pulled the trigger.


	21. the firefly

Tsukishima had thought of better ways to die.

Realistically speaking, he was much more likely to die from a gunshot or poisoned by an enemy during a shady dinner set up. But he’d much rather retire peacefully from the mafia business, marry Y/N, settle down with some kids, and probably live out the rest of his days jamming out with his grandkids.

Running into a horde of super soldiers – well, that wasn’t on his top 10 list of ways to go.

They had been training for months, but it seemed as if they were already doomed from the start. The plan seemed fool-proof enough, but Kuroo, being one step ahead as always, had figured them out. Before they knew it, they found themselves face-to-face with a group of armed Nekoma members, their veins glowing like they had swallowed fluorescent lights.

“We’ve been compromised,” Akaashi hissed in their earpieces.

“Yeah, we see that,” Daichi said gruffly, staring menacingly at the crowd. “Call it, Alpha.”

“Clear the training centers,” Bokuto growled. “That’s probably where they’re staying. Be careful – they’ve all been enhanced by the drugs. We’re trying to hunt Kuroo down.”

“Kuroo’s mine,” Tsukishima said. “I have a score to settle.”

“Oh yeah? Well, get in line,” Kenma muttered.

“We’ve deployed King’s group to the dormitories,” Sugawara said, making his way to stand next to Daichi. “We’ve yet to hear their status, but I wouldn’t worry too much about them.”

“I’ll take the rest of Fukurodani and cover the labs and the infirmary,” Kenma volunteered.

“I’ll go with you,” Ennoshita said, and the two disappeared with a handful of both Fukurodani and Karasuno members.

“So, training center it is,” Daichi said. He glanced at Sugawara, smiling at him despite the gravity of the situation. “Are you with me, second-in-command?”

Sugawara gripped his shoulder. “I’m with you until the end of the line,” he promised.

Tsukishima turned to look around, meeting Kiyoko’s eyes in the process. She nodded seriously and unsheathed her daggers.

Daichi loaded his gun, and the rest followed suit.

“Let’s fly!” he bellowed, and together, they clashed with Nekoma’s troops.

The first fist that connected with Tsukishima’s face felt like it was made of steel. It knocked him off-balance, and before he knew it, a swift knee to his gut sent him flying backwards.

He could actually taste blood in his mouth as he hit the ground, hard. He spat it out bitterly, cursing the drugs as he charged once more.

He wasn’t the only one who was unfortunate enough to feel the full force of the Nekoma troops; he watched as Yachi soared through the air, away from the girl she had been fighting. Nishinoya let out a string of curses as he was locked in a whirlwind of a battle. Sugawara already had blood in his hair – whether it was his or someone else’s, Tsukishima didn’t want to know.

Tsukishima made quick work of the member who had incapacitated him: an elbow to the face, a kick to the right knee, and a bullet to the temple as he went down. He tried not to think about his encounter with an unstable Y/N, on the same drugs that these members were on. He doubted he could tap into their more human side in this commotion.

A group of Nekoma members arrived at the scene, brandishing long spears with curved tips like elongated scythes. Upon closer inspection, Tsukishima discovered that the slight curve at the end of the blades were glowing with a faint blue hue, and as one of the members swung at an unsuspecting Fukurodani soldier, he watched as the latter went down trembling like mad.

“What the hell are those?!” Tanaka yelled.  
Tsukishima could barely formulate a response before the spear came flying towards his face. A hand pulled on the back of his collar, yanking him out of the way; he could hear the unsettling buzz of the weapon as it swung past him.

He turned to see Kaori Suzumeda, in a white-and-gold combat suit, her long brown hair swinging in a ponytail behind her. She darted past Tsukishima, dropping into a roll as the spear swung above her. She snatched the handle as the member slammed it down, kicking him square in the chest and causing him to let go.

She made wielding the spear look so easy as she spun it around in her hands, backing the Nekoma member up with quick strikes to the head before finishing him off with a fatal stroke across the neck, releasing the same energy as it had done with the Fukurodani member earlier.

Kaori turned to Tsukishima, grinning and admiring the spear in her hands. “It’s called a Thunderbolt,” she explained. “They’re electric scythes. Touching the blade won’t kill you, but they won’t tickle, either.”

“Who developed those?” Tsukishima asked.

“…I did,” Kenma said in their earpieces, a twinge of regret in his tone. “I designed it, anyway. But I didn’t have the resources to build it…so Kuroo must have found a way to do it somehow.”

“I’m going to have a word with you about the things you design, Kenma,” Daichi grumbled. “But right now, we need to regroup. We’re scattered as it is.”

Kaori tossed the Thunderbolt to Tsukishima, who caught it easily. “You haven’t called me back,” she pouted, as they made their way across the training center.

“I have a girlfriend.”

“Boo. You’re no fun.”

Tsukishima shook his head at the Fukurodani girl’s casual shift in conversation. “Go back up King by the dormitories.”

“Ooh, I love it when you get all dominant,” Kaori cackled, but she disappeared into the crowd anyway.

He found himself in a sudden headlock that nearly crushed his windpipe; he struck with the Thunderbolt, sending tendrils of electricity racing across the member’s body.

As soon as he broke free, he turned to kick his opponent out of the way, only for the latter to catch his ankle at the last second.  
Tsukishima raised the Thunderbolt, but he never got there; a bullet connected with the Nekoma member’s hand, forcing him to let go of Tsukishima.

He stumbled backward as Yamaguchi raced to stand between them, slamming his foot in the member’s face and sending him flying backwards.

“Go!” Yamaguchi yelled at Tsukishima over his shoulder. “They’ve cornered Kuroo on the roof! Go! I’ll hold them off!”

“Yamaguchi…” Tsukishima shook his head, quickly collecting himself as he sprinted out of the center.

He dashed up the stairs, dodging various opponents, not wanting to wear himself out so he could face Kuroo at full strength. Everything was a blur; Fukurodani’s white-and-gold uniform stood out in the mix of black, orange, and red, though it was because of that color scheme that made them an easy target.

As Tsukishima watched multiple Fukurodani members fall, he realized something: Bokuto and Akaashi had the numbers to spare. No matter what happened in this battle, Fukurodani would never have less members than what they would deem necessary. Karasuno, on the other hand…well, they only had each other.

They’d already lost three members. The only reason why they’d managed to come this far was because Fukurodani had been around to help. This battle…it would most definitely be the last for many of them.

Tsukishima’s throat closed up at the thought. As insufferable and annoying they all were, they were still family. They had been there for him, supported him, and defended him for so long, that he never stopped to consider a world without Karasuno.

_Better get to Kuroo before that becomes a reality_ , he thought, racing to the top of the building.

He pulled the door to the roof open, and was nearly blown back by the wind. The rain came down in torrents as he dashed blindly through the storm, looking for any signs of fighting.

He suddenly fell to the ground with a grunt as something heavy collided with him, the Thunderbolt spinning out of his reach. A foot pressed against his chest, preventing him from getting up.

He stared up at the dripping, impassive face of Yaku Morisuke, pointing a rifle at his head. “You should have died long ago,” he said.

Tsukishima shoved the rifle out of his face, whipping out his pistol and firing it at Kuroo’s second-in-command. Yaku moved away with incredible speed, but it was enough to get Tsukishima back on his feet.

A few feet from where they were, Tsukishima could faintly see three figures fighting for their lives. Lightning flashed, and he saw a familiar mop of silver hair fighting alongside a brunette – Sugawara and Daichi. They faced off against the head of Nekoma himself: Kuroo Tetsurou.

He barely had time to see what was going on – he was much too preoccupied with the fact that he was about to take on the second-highest ranking official in Nekoma. The veins on his face were glowing, which were a clear sign that he was enhanced.

Gripping the Thunderbolt tightly, Tsukishima rushed in.

He swung, the electricity crackling as it made contact with raindrops. Yaku dodged that strike, as did all the others that followed. Taking advantage of a small opening, he grabbed the end of the rod and yanked it forward, sending his knee flying into Tsukishima’s gut.

The blonde growled and thrust his hand upwards, colliding with Yaku’s chin and snapping his head backwards. It was enough to put some space between them, and gave Tsukishima enough time to retrieve the Thunderbolt.

He stepped in with a quick jab, the tip grazing Yaku’s front. Tsukishima smirked as it momentarily shocked him, watching as electricity raced across his skin. He spun around and kicked Yaku across the face. It felt like kicking a stone wall, but it was enough to knock the second-in-command off his feet.

Tsukishima ran in with the Thunderbolt, raising the blade over Yaku’s exposed front. He plunged down with all his might…only to see Yaku catch the spear just inches before it was embedded into his body.

He watched in disbelief as the Thunderbolt released enough electricity to take down an elephant, with Yaku yelling as he attempted to grip the blade. Tsukishima’s eyes widened as Yaku somehow managed to break it with his bare hands, the explosive energy of the spear knocking the two of them away from each other.

When Tsukishima’s vision cleared, he sat up groggily. He could faintly hear Daichi’s panicked yelling, along with Kuroo’s maniacal laughter. But one look at Yaku forced him to focus on the real threat.

Yaku was standing up, holding the broken Thunderbolt out for Tsukishima to see. He didn’t at all look unfazed by the fact that he had just absorbed so much electricity; in fact, his wounds even seemed to be healing. He tossed the Thunderbolt to the side.

“Did you honestly think you could stand a chance against me?” Yaku called. “Against us?”

Tsukishima snarled and dashed forward, firing his pistol. Some of them made their mark, but Yaku didn’t seem to flinch.

They exchanged fists, both wanting nothing more than to see the other bleed out and suffer. It didn’t matter that Yaku was several inches shorter than Tsukishima – he held his own better than any other opponent that Tsukishima ever had.

Yaku turned his back to Tsukishima, striking an elbow into his face and causing him to stumble back. He then proceeded to slam his foot into Tsukishima’s right thigh – right where his old wound was.

Pain flared all throughout Tsukishima’s body, and he couldn’t help it – he screamed. He screamed in agony and in terror, something he hadn’t done in a long time.

“Weak,” Yaku spat.

Tsukishima forced himself to straighten up, to put his fists up, anything – but he couldn’t seem to rise up from his half-kneeling position.

“Bravely fought, Tsukishima Kei,” Yaku continued to mock him. “No wonder Y/N liked you so much.”

“Do not,” he spat. “Say her fucking name.”

He wasn’t going to lose. Not while he was on his knees.

Mustering all of his strength, he yanked the spare knife by his boot out of its sheath and thrust it upwards, at Yaku.

It should have gone through his throat. But Yaku had caught his wrist, while he was loading his rifle. Lightning flashed, illuminating his smug face.

“Thanks for playing,” Yaku said, pointing the rifle at Tsukishima’s face.

He closed his eyes, waiting for the bullet to make its mark.

The unmistakable sound of blade piercing through flesh, however, forced them back open.

Yaku stared down at the broken tip of the Thunderbolt that had made its way to his chest from the back. Tsukishima stumbled backward just as Kenma stepped out from behind his former teammate.

“Yaku,” he said, almost regretfully.

Yaku turned to him, an unreadable expression on his face. “Traitor,” he coughed out, blood dribbling down his chin.

Kenma’s face hardened, and he twisted the blade, forcing Yaku on his knees before pulling it out. Tsukishima barely had time to look away before Kenma brought it across Yaku’s neck, effectively breaking the Thunderbolt in half.

“Daichi!”

Sugawara’s cry tore through the air like a knife. He looked up from his position on the ground, watching as Kuroo held Daichi by the neck, dangling him dangerously over the roof.

“That sounds real good, Suga, would you mind doing that again?” Kuroo taunted. “I’m sure Daichi would love to hear you scream out his name in desperation one last time.”

Daichi gripped Kuroo’s arm, trying to ignore the fact that he was slowly being asphyxiated. His feet scrabbled for purchase on the ground, trying to find some balance before pitching to his inevitable death three stories below.

“Kuro.”

Kuroo’s head whipped around, looking around for that unmistakable voice. Quiet as it was, it rang out through the storm as loudly as if it had been shouted, effectively taking Kuroo’s attention.

Kenma stepped forward, holding his arms out in a placating gesture. “That’s enough,” he said, oddly calm. “You’ve already proved Nekoma’s strength. You cornered Bokuto and Akaashi with your forces before they could corner you. You’ve wiped out half of Fukurodani and most of Karasuno. Isn’t that enough?”

“Kenma,” Daichi rasped.

“I’m the one who brought them here,” Kenma continued. “I’m the one who gave them the coordinates and fed them information. But by doing so, I brought them together. I stitched them together so they could face you.”

Kuroo’s face stiffened.

“You couldn’t be happy with just being one of Japan’s top mafias, now, could you?” Kenma said. “You wanted to be on top. You wanted more. And what would happen if you gained everything? That would be the end of you. Kuroo Tetsurou with no goal…no such thing exists.”

Kenma put his hands down, something that looked akin to sadness on his face. “I can’t watch you destroy everything just to watch you destroy yourself in the end. I can’t watch my best friend do that to himself.”

For a moment, everything was still. Kenma stood motionlessly, Yaku’s blood still on his skin. Kuroo looked at him, as if he was seeing him for the very first time.

Slowly, his grip on Daichi loosened.

Tsukishima got up, limping towards them. If he could just get to Kuroo…a little push would do it…

But he never got there.

A sharp crack tore through the air, and a burst of light – the unmistakable signs of a gun firing.

The muzzle of Kuroo’s pistol was steaming in the rain. Had Tsukishima blinked, he would have missed it – Kuroo’s hand trembling as he lowered his gun.

“You won’t have to,” he said.

Tsukishima turned his head, a little too quickly.

“Kenma-san!” he screamed.

But Kenma had already fallen, sporting a bullet wound through his forehead; Kuroo had tightened his grip around Daichi’s neck again.

“Sentiment,” he hissed.

The door to the roof burst open again, revealing two figures dressed in white and gold. The shock was slowly taking over Tsukishima’s system, immobilizing his muscles, practically gluing him to the ground. His brain began to process things more slowly now; he could barely see Bokuto and Akaashi’s figures making their way over to Daichi and Sugawara. But they’d never make it. Kuroo would drop Daichi, and it would be over.

Suddenly, over the roar of the rain, another sound echoed through the sky – something that sounded suspiciously like a chopper.

Two figures dressed in – were those turquoise and white combat suits? Tsukishima’s hazy vision couldn’t tell. But he saw that familiar mop of brown hair as soon as it landed on the roof, brandishing a rifle, and caught a glimpse of a face that looked much too pretty to be in a place like this –

Before Tsukishima could remember his name, he had fired at Kuroo, and so did his partner. He tried to cry out a warning, but words failed him as Kuroo toppled forward and over the roof, obviously not expecting the sudden attack.

Unfortunately, he was bringing Daichi down with him.

Sugawara forced himself to his feet with a mighty yell, thrusting his hand out to grab Daichi’s as he began to fall.

Daichi dangled above Nekoma’s building, with nothing but his second-in-command to keep him from plummeting straight to his death.

He looked up, blinking as the rain covered his face. At that moment, all he could see was Sugawara – his silver hair matted with blood and dirt, a swollen eye, and a nasty cut that was about to tear his cheek open. Weak as he was, he didn’t seem too keen on letting go.

He blinked again, and he began to panic – the first feeling of anxiety after years of leading a mafia group. Something blocked him from seeing Sugawara fully, like there was something stuck in his right eye.

“I can’t see you,” he called, fear seizing his tone. “Suga, I can’t see you…”

Sugawara grunted in response, trying his damnedest to pull Daichi back up. But the rain was making things difficult, and Sugawara’s entire body shook from the strain. He inched forward over the edge, trying to gain some leverage.

“Other…hand…” he gasped, hoping Daichi could hear him. Daichi complied, gripping Sugawara’s arm with his other hand.

Sugawara pulled and shouted, but it was no use. He shifted himself up, but Daichi’s weight pulled him back down.

“I can’t see you,” Daichi repeated.

Sugawara summoned the rest of his strength, praying to whatever deity that could hear him to help him out. _One last time,_ he said. _Please_.

He hadn’t noticed that he was already half over the edge.

“Suga!”

“With you…” Sugawara managed to say. “‘Til the end…of the line…”

No one could have reached them in time.

With a mighty tug, Sugawara had pulled Daichi back up. The force, however, pushed him forwards, sending him tumbling down the building and into the darkness.

All of a sudden, Tsukishima found the strength to get back up. He was limping, and he stumbled around blindly, but he made it to the door that led back inside.

He was reeling from the events that had transpired on the roof – three deaths in succession, each one somebody he knew. He wanted to scream again, feel anything besides the numbing pain in his leg. But he felt so hollow inside, as if the universe was whispering, Wait for it. You will feel it soon enough.

It was deadly silent as Tsukishima made his way to the second floor. The corridors were littered with bodies; a tattered painting of white, black, red, orange.

No matter what mafia group they were in, this is where all their roads led to. Together, like best buddies, lying in a pool of their own blood.

Tsukishima’s throat closed up as he came across a familiar mop of blonde hair, stained red with blood. He knelt before Yachi Hitoka, who had clearly not survived when he had seen her flung through the air like a rag doll. Judging by the puddle of blood that seeped from her once bright blonde hair, she had cracked her skull, possibly from her fall. His hand was trembling, but he managed to close her eyes.

He stood, and kept going.

He’d expected to see Kuroo already motionless in the storm outside, but it seemed like the Boss of Nekoma was still intent on surprises. Tsukishima found him propped up by the front door, wet from head to toe, and having difficulty breathing.

He made sure to keep eye contact as he approached his enemy, wary of any other attacks he might have up his sleeve.

Despite his situation, Kuroo smiled as Tsukishima drew closer. The latter noted the former’s twisted and mangled side of his body, possibly from his fall. He was bleeding copiously from his gunshot wounds, a curious sight to see given that they were only two.

“Surprised?” Kuroo rasped, as Tsukishima knelt in front of him. “Same here. Didn’t think Iwaizumi and Oikawa would turn on me, too.”

He saw Tsukishima’s hand drifting to his spare gun, and he just shook his head. “Don’t bother. Phoenix Breath just barely managed to get me here. Phoenix Tears is going to do the trick for you.”

Tsukishima frowned. “All that planning, and for what?” he said. “You’re just giving up? After two small bullet wounds?”

“They’re hardly small,” Kuroo mumbled. “What else should I explain that you don’t already know, Tsukishima Kei? I’ve lost. Everything essential to Project Phoenix – my army, the drugs…”

“And Y/N?”

Kuroo laughed. “Y/N. When I said this girl was going to be the death of me, I suppose she really would be the death of me.”

“You killed her,” Tsukishima said, his tone cold and sharp. “How dare you talk so casually – “

“I didn’t kill her,” Kuroo said, rather calmly. “She’s not dead. Close to it, but she’s not. She had Lev steal the bullets that I had Seijoh develop, took the extract, and downed it. It was enough to slow her heart rate, fooling anyone into thinking she was dead. I imagine she took a horrendous amount of Phoenix Tears and Breath too, to really sell it.”

Tsukishima shook his head in disbelief. “Phoenix what?”

“The enhancer,” Kuroo coughed. “And the healer.”

Tsukishima blinked, trying to wrap his head around the situation. “How did you even…”

“You’d be surprised at how much cats know about death,” Kuroo replied. “She thinks she’s going to go down as a hero, but with what she’s done, she’s going to go down, alright – but she’s going to bring everyone down with her.”

“I have to get to her,” Tsukishima said, standing up with difficulty. He was about to contact whoever was left on the line to ask for transportation when Kuroo interrupted him again.

“I loved her, you know,” he said, in a tone that was the closest to regret that Tsukishima would ever hear from him.

“Bullshit,” Tsukishima seethed.

“I did,” Kuroo continued. “I sought to make her a queen, as she deserved nothing less. But when it came to letting her go…I made her a slave.”

Tsukishima turned back to him to reply, but the Boss of Nekoma was already gone.

He took a deep breath, settling his nerves before tapping his earpiece.

“Glasses here,” he announced. “Kuroo Tetsurou is down. I repeat – Kuroo Tetsurou is down. Mission accomplished.”


	22. black cat

The gentle purr of the motorcycle sounded more like a snarl in the silence of the woods. Normally, forests were calming to Kageyama, and so was the night – but the anticipation was practically choking him. He listened intently for any noises besides the roar of the motorcycle’s engine and the chirping crickets, and kept his eyes peeled for any clues.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait long.

He could see smoke rising from a distance, along with several black SUVs. Upon closer inspection, he could see bodies strewn across the ground, their blood mixing with the rain as they were absorbed into the dirt. Skid marks on the road led to a different car, which appeared to have swerved off the asphalt and into a tree.

Kageyama swore loudly as he spotted a familiar mop of silver hair, and he quickly pulled over.

“Lev?” he shouted over the rain, hopping off the bike and running towards him. He abruptly stopped at the sight, his stomach rapidly turning and throat constricting.

“Lev…” Kageyama knelt beside the youngest Haiba child, gingerly pushing his hair aside to expose the bullet wound, which had clearly tore through his forehead. He placed a shaky hand on Lev’s ice cold cheek while looking around, trying to look for the perpetrator. But there was no one around them except for dead bodies.

A sudden explosion rocked the ground, illuminating the area just a few meters away. Kageyama quickly stood and jumped back on his bike, making a mental note to return for Lev’s body later.

He revved the engine as he spotted a group of Nekoma members behind another SUV, successfully catching their attention. Before they could turn their guns in his direction, he had back flipped over the bike and sent it running at full speed at them, engulfing them in a large explosion.

When the flames had died, Kageyama straightened up to see a figure ahead, making its way towards him.

Y/N was dressed in a pure black combat suit, a stark contrast to what she had been wearing in the CCTV footage. Her hair, now long and unkempt from months of not being able to take care of it, stuck to her face from the rain. When lightning flashed, Kageyama could see that she was donning a black mask over her eyes, the tips pointing upwards.

A Nekoma member came out of nowhere, yelling and brandishing his gun. She leapt over an SUV’s hood and tackled him, raising her hands up and slashing wildly across his throat. When she stood once more, blood dripped from steel claws where her fingers should be.

_This isn’t Y/N_ , Kageyama reminded himself. _This is the Black Cat. It’s someone separate from the real her._

He watched, frozen as she easily took down another Nekoma member with a swift knee to the gut, swinging both her legs around his neck, and dropping to the ground in a roll, throwing him over her.

He barely had time to process anything as she kicked the SUV over to him. The car groaned as her foot slammed into the side door, and Kageyama rolled away. He drew his gun as he stood up, searching for her in the wreckage.

The hairs on his nape suddenly stood up, and suddenly she was on top of him, wrapping her legs around his shoulders tightly. She grunted as she produced a thick strand of wire from her wrists, and used it to choke him, pulling him backwards.

Kageyama ducked, tossing Y/N over his head. She landed on one of the SUVs, looking unfazed in the slightest.

_Hold on!_ He wanted to shout. _Time out!_

But his voice died in his throat as she exposed her claws – literal steel claws from her gloved hands.

She sprang off the car and slashed wildly at him. Kageyama could only lift his gun up in front of him to parry away her attacks. Her leg very nearly grazed the side of his head had he not ducked, and he answered with a push kick that sent her stumbling back into the car.

Taking advantage of her momentary confusion, he sprinted and slammed both of his knees into her gut. She growled in annoyance and tackled his waist, pushing him back with force that could easily rival the strongest man on Earth.

But Kageyama held his own, planting his feet firmly on the ground as he pushed back. He took her left arm, straightened it out, and swept her legs out from in front of her as his hand went to hold her by the throat.

“Y/N, get a hold of yourself!” he yelled.

She glared up at him through the mask. “Who the fuck is Y/N?” she hissed, rearing her head back and slamming her forehead into his.

Stars danced in front of his eyes as Kageyama tried to steady himself, only to find Y/N charging at him at full speed.  
They exchanged powerful blows, neither one gaining or losing. At one point, Kageyama had whipped out his knife and slashed it across Y/N’s face, leaving a bleeding gash across her cheek.

She looked back at him distastefully, and he watched as the wound disappeared in mere seconds.

Kageyama’s vision blurred around the edges.

So he _could_ pull it off, just as he’d always planned to. But how could he get close to her, when she was practically a whirlwind of pure strength and agility?

Even as they continued to fight, Kageyama ran the numbers in his head. The power in his swing, the angle, the timing…if he was one step behind, he wouldn’t be able to do it.

But he was slowing down. He was getting tired. His movements were getting sloppy, and his attempts to defend himself were half-assed, at most.

Y/N had seemed to notice this, and she pulled out one of the knives strapped to her waist. Kageyama parried her blade away using his own, but Y/N’s skill with knives was unparalleled. He couldn’t attempt to beat her at her own game.

The knife seemed to be an extension of herself, as she whirled, slashed, and jabbed with no effort at all. She flipped the blade over and over again, letting it go only to catch it and jab at a specific place again.

She managed to bury the knife, hilt deep into the SUV’s side, which easily could have been Kageyama’s head if he hadn’t dodged. But she seemed unconcerned about it, as she flipped over her back, kicking Kageyama and the car backwards while pulling the knife out at the same time.

Apparently, Y/N wasn’t done with her surprises.

Her fist connected with his face, and before he could retaliate, she had judo-flipped him over her shoulder, letting his head hit the asphalt with a sickening crunch.

“Stay down,” she snarled, walking away from him.

Her voice echoed around Kageyama’s head, along with a ringing sound that was excruciatingly painful to hear. Blood trickled from his nose, and he blinked wearily as the raindrops fell on his face.

Part of his consciousness was screaming at him not to fall asleep, but his body was slowly betraying him. And who could blame it? His muscles felt like jelly. His legs flared in pain every time he tried to move them. But his head was practically on fire – as if Y/N had somehow cracked his skull open and set it on fire.

Without his permission, the darkness took over him.

 

* * *

 

“ _So is that it?_ ”

Kageyama sat up with difficulty, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. His throat tightened up a little as he found Y/N sitting cross-legged next to him, picking invisible dirt particles off her jeans.

“Is what it?” he asked.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “ _You’re just going to give up. A basic throw over the shoulder’s going to be the reason why you fail._ ”

“I’d like to see you do better,” he retorted, offended.

“ _Oh, I will,_ ” she said. “ _You just have to release me, that’s all._ ”

Kageyama shook his head. “I set you free, you lose control. If I mess this up, I could actually kill her…you.”

“ _And there you go again_ ,” she stated. “ _Thinking that every single thing has to be planned. That is why you lose, Kageyama Tobio. You freeze when you need to deviate from your initial planning._ ”

“Why are you even here?” he said, resigned. “You only come around to taunt me, to push me around, to tantalize me – but you’re never there when I need you to be.”

Y/N blinked, then laughed, reaching over to pat his cheek. As he expected, her hands were as cold as ice.

“ _But I am here, Tobio_ ,” she reminded him. “ _Because I am you. The side of you that sits and waits for you to lose control. The power that lays dormant in you, that you are too afraid to let out. I am what Oikawa Tooru saw in you so many years ago. You are so much stronger than this. You’ve had a taste of it so many times, but you tuck me away like a child would after playing with his new toy. You see me as I am right now because she is destruction personified. You can stand at her level, and you can defeat her, Tobio. But you have to let go. Surrender to yourself._ ”

Kageyama swallowed. “But…I’ll kill her. If I lose control, I…I won’t know who I am anymore.”

Y/N’s eyes were intense, a good replica of the real thing. “ _You really have no choice. Either you destroy her, or she destroys herself. That’s what Oikawa was trying to point out to you. And you know how all of this is going to go down. So why fight fate? What will you choose?_ ”

The gears in Kageyama’s head began to turn. He could still make his plan work. The only thing that he needed was that extra push, that ounce of strength that he needed to pull it off. Going against Y/N would need a different kind of strength, and what he was planning to do to was a different story altogether.

He stood up, and she followed suit. He towered over her, gazing down at her with the same intensity as she had earlier. “I won’t lose control,” he vowed. “I’ll use you long enough to give me the strength I need. But I can overpower you anytime.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “ _Are you sure you have that kind of restraint?_ ”

“I won’t lose sight of my goal,” he said. “That’s all the restraint I need.”

They stared at each other longer. “ _Are you saying you accept me?_ ” she whispered.

Kageyama paused, before answering. “I do.”

She finally broke into a smile, and for a moment, her eyes flickered into a familiar shade of blue.

 

* * *

 

As hard as Kageyama tried, he could only remember bits and pieces.

He did remember the way strength coursed back into his body, as if someone had plugged him with electrical cables and shocked him back to life. The pain in his head had eased into a dull throb, and he leapt to his feet, chasing after Y/N’s retreating figure.

After that, it was all a blur.

There were too many fists flying, legs swinging, throwing one down to the ground only to watch them get back up. Kageyama barely registered Y/N’s claws ripping up a hole by his chest, leaving several marks.

Like he had felt all these years, some unseen force guided his movements – the force that he now understood as his own. He allowed the destructive part of himself to take over, but he imagined a sort of mental anchor to keep himself from going too far.

As he had hoped, Y/N was slowing down. It wasn’t blatantly obvious, but it was there: sluggish movements, out-of-place attacks, hesitation in swipes. Her wounds were healing much slowly now, though her veins were still brightly glowing.

_Now_ , he thought. _At this point…at this timing…at this angle…_

He slammed his knee upwards into her gut, and, while she leaned forward, slammed his foot into her old injury – her ankle.

Y/N screamed, the first sound of pain that she had made all this time. She immediately crumpled to the ground, wailing as she grasped her ankle. Kageyama waited cautiously, keeping his hand on the hilt of his knife.

Y/N glared at him, pure hatred in her eyes, and she let out a guttural cry as she dragged an SUV by its bumper and tossed it at him.

Kageyama scuttled out of the way, his heart frantically racing to keep up. _She’s in the final stage_ , he thought. _Her body’s pushing itself to get the Phoenix Tears out, and Phoenix Breath is working overtime to fix her ankle…this is as good as any moment to do it!_

She still went after him, screaming bloody murder as she swiped with her claws. But her ankle was slowing her down, long enough for Kageyama to get a little closer…

He raised his leg up and slammed it downwards, yelling as he did so. His foot connected with her locked knee, making her stumble forward. Kageyama caught her just before she hit the ground, and he was sure that the cry that escaped her lips could be heard all the way to Tokyo.

He kept her arms pinned in front of her, just in case she tried anything, but she seemed to have given up altogether. He was struggling to keep her upright, but she was slowly slipping through his arms.

Her hands scrabbled for purchase on his shoulders as her breath escaped her in quick, short pants. “It’s okay,” he shushed her, as she began to whimper. “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry. I had to. Look at me.”

Y/N looked up at him – and for the first time, she didn’t appear angry or hateful. She simply stared up at him, her eyes no longer clouded by lies and replaced with their familiar warmth. He cupped her cheek, running a thumb down her skin, exhaling in relief as she closed her eyes in response.

“Tobio?” Her voice cracked pitifully.

He swallowed. “I’m here.”

Tears escaped the corners of her eyes. “Save me,” she begged.

Kageyama held her closely, gazing down at her, wanting to memorize every inch of her face. Everything had led up to this; he couldn’t back out now.

“I love you,” he declared, before whipping out his knife and driving it upwards into her abdomen.

Thunder boomed over ahead, and the rain came again in torrents. But he was determined to hold onto her, even as she fell backwards in his arms, a hint of a smile on her face.


	23. crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my update schedule is disgusting

Looking back on it, Y/N couldn’t describe what dying felt like.

She had slipped into a deep sleep after administering the formula that she had extracted from Seijoh’s bullets, and everything was just a blur after that.

All she could see were flashes of light and blurry figures, with nothing to help her distinguish right from wrong – the good guys from the bad.

She could distinctly remember telling Lev to keep her in check. After taking a lethal dosage of Phoenix Tears and Breath, she had made it clear to him that she would never be free from the effects if she didn’t surrender to them. She needed to be consumed in order to be purged of it – to be burned in order to emerge. Truth be told, she had sort of known it all along; struggling only made her weaker.

Lev was supposed to be there to restrain her. To keep her from losing control. But she had also given him permission to let her loose in the event that something threatened them, and she’d given him an estimation as to what time she would awaken from her partial coma.

But he wasn’t there. And so she was wreaking havoc like a hurricane, laying waste to everything and everyone that crossed her path.

And then, she felt everything drain out of her.

The familiar jolt of pain in her ankle snapped her back to the present, sending her body into a frenzy, torn between healing herself and getting rid of the drugs in her system.

When her kneecap completely shattered, that did it for her.

Then she saw them.

Those eyes. Eyes that were as clear as the sky on a cloudless day. Eyes that were bluer than the rarest sapphires. Those eyes that spoke magnitudes even in silence, that painted a thousand emotions with a single look, and made her skin crawl whenever they traveled to gaze upon her.

Those eyes that she’d always consider home.

And she was pulled under again. Lost in the blue of his eyes until she was practically drowning. Every time she surfaced for air, something pulled her down into the icy depths; bringing her to the brink of the abyss only to let her breathe again. And the cycle kept repeating. She’d cheated death for long that she was sure this was its way of punishing her.

She thought that she’d fallen into that void, multiple times. It certainly felt like it – she felt herself slipping away, and there were times where she wanted to let go. For the first time, she felt peaceful.

Why bother fighting? All she ever did when she was alive was cause problems. All she ever felt when she was alive was pain. Maybe the name “Black Cat” held more truth than she’d originally thought; maybe she really was born to bring bad luck wherever she went – including herself.

Death was painful, sure. But living wasn’t exactly kind to her, either.

She stayed like that for a while: flitting back and forth across the realms of the known and unknown. Sometimes she heard voices – hallucinations, no doubt – trying to coerce her back to life. Often, she even felt something hold her hand – some callused, some soft. They were like anchors, desperately tugging her back to shore. But slowly and gradually, she was being swept out to sea.

It went on like that for days – years, it seemed to her. Until something put jumper cables on her and restarted her entire system.

Being brought back to life? Not a fun process.

In fact, it felt even more painful than dying. It was like somebody had stuck a wrench between the cogs that were spinning around inside her, and forcibly reversed everything. Like she’d been pulled out of the snow and thrust into a fireplace. Like she’d been in the dark for so long, and somebody pulled back the curtains to let the light in.

She tried screaming, but no noise escaped her. She was stuck inside her own body, desperately trying to get out. She could neither move her hands nor her feet, and her skin prickled as if electrical currents ran through her veins.

_Stop_ , she wanted to beg. _Stop, please. Let me go. Let me die. I can’t do this anymore._

A sudden wave of pain crashed over her, pulling her back under.

 

* * *

 

“…hard to say. Like it or not, Tobio-chan made the best estimate that he could. She had enough Phoenix Breath that would be just enough to keep her heart from stopping. Otherwise, the shock would have sent her into cardiac arrest. I just administered an extra dose to make sure she’s going back in the right direction.”

_Right direction_? she wanted to yell. _This sure as hell isn’t it_!

“Just give her time. She’ll come around. If she doesn’t…well. We did the best we could.”

There was a hint of bitterness in the tone, and Y/N wanted to scoff. That just confirmed her thoughts: no one wanted her back. Not after everything she pulled.

“You really need to get some sleep,” a softer, more feminine voice spoke. “And eat. When’s the last time you ate something that wasn’t a granola bar and a slice of apple?”

No response.

The female voice sighed. “I’ll get you a change of clothes. You better be eating by the time I get back.”

_Wait_ , Y/N called, a sense of familiarity coming back to her.

But she was already gone.

 

* * *

 

The first time she opened her eyes, it felt like someone had superglued them shut.  
She had to blink several times to get the blurriness out of the way. How long had she been out? And more importantly, where was she now?

The white blanket that was currently fisted between her fingers was one clue. She could hear faint beeping that seemed to synchronize with her pulse – a heart monitor.

The familiar smell of bleach and disinfectant...

Y/N abruptly sat up, but was pulled back by a needle that was digging painfully into her arm and a tube right under her nose. With frantic movements, she attempt to rip off the wires connected to her body, until hands shot out to stop her.

“No, no, no, Y/N, stop,” the same calm, feminine voice ordered her. “Calm down. Shh. Look at me.”

Y/N’s head whipped around, and she was face-to-face with a familiar angelic face. Her ebony looks framed her face elegantly, occasionally hitting the sides of her glasses as she attempted to restrain Y/N.

“Calm down. It’s me. You’re going to be okay,” she soothed. A nurse came barging in, alerted by the sudden spike on the heart monitor, but the female simply waved her away.

“Do you know who I am?” she continued.

Y/N frowned and swallowed thickly, wincing as her saliva went down her dry, aching throat. When was the last time she drank water?

“I…I think I do,” she struggled, hating the way her voice scraped against her vocal cords.

“Alright. What’s my name?”

Y/N breathed in and out heavily. “You’re…you’re Shimizu Kiyoko,” she said. “Codename: Goddess. You’re six months older than I am. You love _tenmusu_. You’re…you’re my best friend.”

The facts came tumbling out of her mouth faster than she could think. With them came the memories – bits and pieces of them, but memories all the same.

Kiyoko had tears in her eyes when she had finished. “Welcome back,” she whispered.

“Kiyoko,” Y/N’s voice cracked pitifully. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry.”

“Shh. It’s alright. You’re here now,” Kiyoko reassured her, sliding in her arms carefully and gently. Her scent, the feeling of her skin, her warmth…it was all slowly coming back to her. Y/N hugged her best friend fiercely, noting how she seemed awfully skinnier than the last time she’d seen her.

Something stirred in the corner of the room, catching Y/N’s attention. Her breath hitched in her throat. Kiyoko pulled away, glancing over her shoulder briefly before turning to Y/N once more.

“It’s a miracle he’s been able to sleep at all,” she said, a hint of amusement in her tone. “I thought I would have to whack him over the head, but it turns out I just needed to slip a few sedatives in his tea. He’s been torturing himself, insisting on staying awake and staying by your side. He never leaves.”

Y/N turned to look back at the blonde male, who was leaning by the corner of the sofa, snoring away with his arms crossed. His glasses were lopsided, and she found the sudden urge to fix them – something she guessed that she used to do very often.

“Do you know him?” Kiyoko asked quietly.

“I guess,” Y/N said reluctantly. “But why won’t he leave?”

Kiyoko tensed, giving Y/N the feeling that this was going to be a lengthy and sensitive conversation.

“Y/N,” Kiyoko said carefully. “You were dead.”

“…uh-huh?”

“No, like, really dead. No heartbeat, flatlined, whatever you want to call it. You died. Your heart literally stopped beating for half an hour before we brought you back.”

Y/N shuddered, somehow recalling the experience. “And…how long ago was that?”

“Roughly five months ago.”

“What?!” The heart monitor picked up again, and Y/N forced herself to remain calm, suddenly terrified that her poor heart wouldn’t appreciate the shift in mood. “I’ve…I’ve been out for five months…?”

“We thought it would be longer,” Kiyoko confessed. “No one knew when you would wake up.”

Y/N fell back onto her pillow. Five months of her life in that ocean of nothingness. Five months of deciding whether to move on or stay. Five months of choosing whether to live or to die.

Well, it wasn’t like she had a choice on the matter, anyway.

“Where am I?” she whispered, eager to change the subject.

“You’re in Seijoh’s infirmary,” Kiyoko answered. “We’re back in Miyagi.”

Normally, it would have shocked Y/N to learn that Karasuno and Seijoh were working seriously together to keep her alive. But from what Lev had been telling her, it sounded as if they’d put aside their individual grudges and opted to join forces.

Speaking of…

“Lev,” Y/N said. “Haiba Lev. Silver hair, super tall, lanky bastard. Where is he?”

Kiyoko looked uncomfortable. “Um…”

She was cut off by a small groan, followed by the sounds of shifting around on the couch.

The blonde male yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his swollen eyes. He looked like a mess – his overgrown, tousled blonde hair sticking up in random places, dark circles under his eyes, a noticeable drop in weight judging by his slightly protruding cheekbones. He looked like death itself, which was saying a lot.

He opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes fell on Y/N. They nearly popped out of their sockets as he took the fact that she was awake in, staring at her in such awe and incredulity as if she had magically appeared in front of him.

“Kei,” the name bubbled up to her lips and escaped her just as quickly, opening a whole new chest of memories; each one of them tugging on her heartstrings painfully.

Kiyoko stood up. “I’ll give you two a minute,” she said, walking out and closing the door behind her.

Immediately, Tsukishima was at her side, lacing his fingers in between hers. The touch was so gentle, so gut-wrenchingly familiar, that it brought tears to her eyes.

“Don’t cry,” he murmured, though he sounded like he was going to cry himself as he wiped away her tears.

“You’re here,” she sobbed.

“Yeah, Y/N. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry,” she babbled. “I should have done it some other way, I tried to do it with as little casualties as possible, I…I just wanted to get out of there and…oh, God, what have I done…”

“Hey. Shh. Calm down. Deep breaths,” he coaxed her, as she began to hyperventilate.

“It’s okay, Y/N. You’re safe now.”

“Lev,” she continued. “Is Lev here? I want to talk to him…”

Tsukishima shook his head, looking pained. “I’m sorry.”

A cold feeling washed over her. “No. No. Tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m sorry, I wish I was. But he was gone for hours before we found his body…we buried him as soon as we got you settled in.”

Y/N put her head in her hands. Lev…sweet, innocent Lev, caught in between the crossfire between two rival mafias. She never should have put him in that position, never should have asked him for help in the first place…surely, he could have still been standing here if she hadn’t. _Oh, God…what am I going to tell Alisa?_

Alisa. Another name. Lev’s sister. The memories began returning to her, with one in particular that didn’t seem to sit well with her.

“Who else?”

Tsukishima took a deep breath. “Yachi,” he began. “Ennoshita. Nearly half of Fukurodani. Kenma. Sugawara. Dozens of others.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “Suga?” she gasped, the angelic face of the silver-haired second-in-command popping into her mind. “And Kenma…what about Daichi?”

Tsukishima fidgeted with his free hand. “Alive, but not unscathed. He lost his eye.”

Y/N felt like throwing up. “Is there more?”

Tsukishima looked down, continuing to fidget around.

“…Kei? Was there anyone else?”

He said it so quickly, that she had to ask him to repeat it.

“Yamaguchi.”

She exhaled sharply. The freckled male…always so optimistic, who held more power than what he could imagine…who would take a bullet for Tsukishima without the latter asking him to.

“How?” she whispered.

Tsukishima shook his head. “I don’t know. I was going after Kuroo but I was blocked by a Nekoma member…Yamaguchi held them off.”

He tried to look impassive, picking at his jeans, but the unspoken meaning behind his words were clear: _It’s all my fault._

With difficulty, she reached over to him, lacing her fingers through his. His grip was loose, but he didn’t pull away.

How was she supposed to apologize to him? For putting him through such anguish, pain, and suffering; for making him and the others pay the price for the plans she had carried out? If her hazy memory served her correctly, Tsukishima had never done anything of the sort to her. He always opted to shoulder most, if not all of the burden just so she wouldn’t feel its full weight.

The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth.

They sat there in silence for a while, before Tsukishima cleared his throat awkwardly.

“So…how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, I suppose,” Y/N answered, trying to get the feeling back in her legs. “Although I don’t know what “okay” means for someone who died and came back to life.”

Tsukishima inhaled sharply, failing to keep it subtle. Y/N squeezed his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“What are you sorry for?” she asked, shocked. “I’m the one who should be sorry – I did things that I swore I would never do anymore – I’m responsible for so many deaths – “

“You weren’t in your right mind when you did them,” Tsukishima pointed out. “You can’t be held accountable for things that you were forced to do under an external influence. It’s not your fault you were manipulated.”

“But…I did them, regardless,” she said, letting her hands fall to her side. Even that small motion sent pricks of pain running through her system. “And I don’t remember doing them…I just remember that I did. It was like I was driving my body…but someone else was at the wheel.”

“The Black Cat,” Tsukishima suggested.  
Y/N sighed.

“That wasn’t you,” he continued. “Right now, you’re just you. Damaged in some places, yes, but alive. That’s what matters.”

She could barely see through the tears that were brimming in her eyes, but she caught Tsukishima’s gaze flickering over to her abdomen area. Instinctively, she reached down to touch it.

“Is that where…” she trailed off.

Tsukishima nodded. “I don’t know how he did it, but it was perfectly aimed,” he said, rather gruffly. “No major organs were ruptured, but he induced enough bleeding to exhaust the remaining enhancer out of your system and kick-start the healing. I suppose that’s why he kept visiting Oikawa-san so much before.”

Y/N swallowed thickly. Tsukishima placed their intertwined hands on her lap.

“I could never do that,” he murmured. “I could never think of sacrificing you to give you a chance at surviving. The odds were so slim, but he still made that call. I could never risk you like that.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” she tried to soothe him.

The ends of his lips quirked up into a dry half-smile. “Leave it to you to make a bad situation seem good.”

“And I’m the one who needs attending to, right?”

The weight on her chest was slowly beginning to lessen. She counted a few breaths and watched Tsukishima’s thumb brush against her hand in soothing circles.

“I don’t know if I could ever make a call like that,” he confessed. “But if I’m not willing to do anything – and by anything, I mean anything – to save you…what kind of person am I?”

“Shhh,” she urged, her hand leaving his grip to sink into his dull blonde hair. He leaned into her touch.

“I told you before,” he said. “I’m terrible at letting you go. I understand now that that’s something I should work on. Preferably by myself.”

Y/N gazed at him. “What…?”

“Maybe I should take a leaf out of King’s book and learn what it means to gain something by losing it first,” Tsukishima continued. “I don’t want you to be tied down because of me.”

He looked at her, and she met his gaze, the gravity of his words now sinking in.

“Oh,” she managed, her voice sounding incredibly small.

“I love you,” he professed. “And nothing is going to change that. So if I love you…I have to let you go.”

Y/N felt a tear roll down her cheek, and he wiped it away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“No more apologies,” he insisted. “Let’s just agree on that. For once.”

She laughed, a warm, almost happy feeling settling in her chest. She stroked the side of his head lightly.

“Thank you,” she said. “For staying. For bending over backwards for me. For loving me…for everything. There will always be a part of me that will always love you.”

Tsukishima reached up to grab her hand, and brought it to his lips. “There may be other girls,” he said. “But they will never be you.”

Y/N smiled – a real, natural smile, something she hadn’t worn in months. She watched as he stood up, fixing his messy blonde hair.

“Where will you go?”

“Take some time off the mafia, I suppose,” he replied. “Maybe spend a year or two in France with my relatives. Not sure.”

Y/N squeezed his hand. “Take care.”

He hesitated for a while before leaning over her, pressing his lips onto her forehead. She closed her eyes, savoring the moment.

“I love you,” he said, his tone implying that it would be the last time that he would say it for a while. “Take it easy.”

He pressed something into her palm before slowly shuffling out the door. He paused and looked over his shoulder, as if to savor the sight of her.

And he was gone.

When she opened her hand, she found his engagement ring sitting in the palm of her hand.

 

* * *

 

Five months.

It had been five months since he was last in Miyagi. Of course, he could point fingers and say that Daichi had decided that Kageyama needed to stay out of Karasuno for a while, like a suspension for disobeying orders.  
But he could have come back at any time. He could have helped in rebuilding Karasuno – well, what was left of it, anyway – and help out with recruitment. But he decided to stay away. For personal reasons, of course.

It didn’t come as a shock to him when Alisa was the first to offer him a place to stay. He had to break the news to her, though – he just didn’t think that her offer still stood regardless of what had happened to Lev.

But he could still hear her crying at night, in the room adjacent to his. Her wails reminded him painfully of Y/N’s own, triggering several sleepless nights wondering if she was already awake.

Alisa answered that for him, one morning over breakfast.

Kageyama choked over his cereal. “She died?!”

“And came back to life,” Alisa said calmly. “Let me finish first. Apparently Oikawa administered an extra dose of that healing drug to help her out. Seems like it’s the only good thing that Kuroo made.”

Her eyes were cast down, making the bags underneath them pop out. It didn’t help that her eyes stayed red and puffy ever since the funeral.

“You’re…” he struggled for the words. “You’re not mad at Y/N for…you know…”

Alisa stirred her spoon around in her cereal. “I want to be mad at something,” she said, after a small pause. “I guess that’s normal. I’m already mad at Kuroo, but he’s gone. There’s nothing physical for me to hate. I can’t even be angry at my brother for being in the mafia…”

Her voice cracked pitifully, but she regained her composure.

“He wanted to protect you,” Kageyama said. “That much, I know. And he knew how much you loved Y/N.”

She sniffled and stood, bringing her bowl with her to the sink. For a long time they were silent, with nothing but the sound of water rushing from the tap.

“I can bring you to her,” she said quietly. “I mean, that’s what you’ve always wanted for these past five months, right?”

Kageyama fiddled with his spoon. “Alisa–“

“I hear you talking in your sleep,” Alisa continued, keeping her back turned. “You want to see her, don’t you?”

He swallowed. The obvious answer was yes. He wanted to see her, so badly it felt like he would never be complete without seeing her at least once. But it was the tightness in Alisa’s voice, the slight bitterness in her tone, that made him rethink his response.

“If you’re angry at Y/N—“

“I’m not,” Alisa promised, turning the tap off. “I’m honestly not. I just…sometimes I wonder how blind you could possibly be.”

And with that, she left the kitchen in a hurry, leaving her bowl unwashed and Kageyama confused.

 

* * *

 

It would be another three months before Kageyama would hear about Y/N again. He was reading one of Alisa’s interior designing magazines while she was talking on the phone.

“Thank you for informing me. Take care,” she said, before hanging up the phone and turning to Kageyama. “Akihiro hasn’t been coming home straight after school, lately.”

“What?” Kageyama frowned. “Where does he go?”

“Around,” Alisa replied, leaning on one of the islands as she texted away. “But one of his teachers saw him attempting to enter the train station.”

“Are you serious?” Kageyama stood. “Where would he be going, even?”

Alisa paused for a minute, before excusing herself. When she returned from upstairs, she held a piece of paper and offered it to him.

“This is…” Kageyama stared down at an image of a young woman, drawn from the chest up, smiling brightly. Akihiro had colored her top with black and red.

Before Alisa could speak, the door swung open. In came Y/N’s son, an 8 year old in his school uniform, looking incredibly like his father with his messy hairdo.

“Where have you been?”

Immediately, both Kageyama and Akihiro flinched; there was nothing like a motherly figure’s scolding that could scare the lights out of you.

“I…um…” Akihiro shuffled around in place. “It’s just…”

“I got a call from your teacher saying that she found you trying to enter the station,” Alisa waved her phone in his face. “What were you thinking? Do you know how dangerous taking the train on your own as a kid is?”

“I’m sorry,” Akihiro mumbled.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it,” Alisa snapped. “You’ve been coming home late, wandering around Tokyo with no supervision? What would happen if someone just took you, Aki? If someone just kidnapped you?”

“Someone like Dad?” Akihiro shot back.

Alisa closed her mouth, obviously in shock. Kageyama raised his eyebrows.

“Now, why would you say that?” Alisa’s voice trembled.

“That’s what Dad did to Mom, didn’t he?” Akihiro pressed. “I didn’t know it then. And I treated her badly.”

“Aki, who told you this?” Kageyama asked.

“Lev did,” Akihiro replied, and Alisa visibly flinched. “He didn’t think it was right that you were trying to hide everything from me.”  
Alisa’s bottom lip trembled. “He had no right to—”

“He loved Mom,” Akihiro interrupted her. “And he loved me. Look where that got him. It doesn’t seem right, you trying to put his efforts into saving her in vain.”

And with that, the little boy pushed past Kageyama and Alisa, neither one of them bothering to stop him.

Kageyama was once again astounded by Akihiro’s guts. Not many eight-year-olds had his level of eloquence, let alone his maturity and courage. It was terrifying, seeing a mere child being forced to grow up and adapt to the situation. His intelligence and wisdom were far beyond what was expected of his age, and he had to guess whether he’d inherited them from Kuroo or Y/N.

Alisa sighed, rubbing her face in agitation. “Why can’t he just act his age? Talk about his math homework. Complain about bullies. Anything but what he just said.”

She let her hands fall to her sides. “Well…he does have a point. I’m not exactly sure why I stopped him from seeing his mother.”

Kageyama looked up. “Does that mean—”

“Yeah. I’m taking him to Miyagi this weekend.” Alisa pocketed her phone. He noticed that she was refusing to meet his eyes.

This time, it took him mere minutes to figure it out.

“Is this you kicking me out?” he asked, trying to sound amused. But even with the humorous lilt to his tone, the words seemed to sting all the same.

“I mean…” Alisa exhaled slowly. “That’s where you belong, don’t you? Daichi and the others must be looking for you. I doubt he would kick you out of Karasuno for that long.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“And I don’t think I can handle you staying here any longer,” Alisa added quietly.

_Ouch_. Kageyama closed his mouth.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she tried for a soothing tone. “But…you know. Things happen. You and I both know it was never going to work out.”

She laughed humorlessly, running a hair through her hair. “I tried. You know very well that I tried.”

Kageyama remained silent.

“You staying here, being by my side during these hard times…” Alisa fidgeted. “…it helped. You really helped. But at the same time, it just reminded me that I could never have you. Not really.”

He kept his eyes fixed on the rug until he felt her standing in front of him, and he looked up to see her smiling sadly.

“Me?” he asked, still utterly bewildered.

Alisa reached out to run her fingers through his jet black hair, which had gotten unruly over the months. “If only you could see yourself,” she said wistfully. “Of course, you.’

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he meant it.

Alisa let her hand drop to her side. “I’ll miss having you around,” she admitted. “I know Aki will, too.”

She turned on her heel and headed upstairs.

Kageyama noted that her hands trembled as she did so, and he would be lying if he didn’t feel a knot forming in his stomach.

 

* * *

 

It took Akihiro the whole day to talk to Y/N.  
Well, he and Alisa. Kageyama opted to stay in the lobby, his bags waiting on the chair next to him. He’d already texted Hinata that he would be returning today, right after he saw to it that Alisa and Akihiro left safely.

And…if circumstances allowed, after he’d seen Y/N.

From what he knew, she was conscious and performing her usual tasks, although she still needed some help eating. He couldn’t blame her—nearly opening a hole in her stomach would definitely come with some setbacks.

That was one of the reasons why he’d initially refused to visit when she was still in a comatose state. He couldn’t handle the sight—after all, he had done that to her, and although his intentions were more or less good, he just wished he’d found another way.

But Oikawa’s words had basically confirmed his thoughts on the matter. “ _It’s obvious, isn’t it?_ ” Seijoh’s boss had said. “ _To get rid of the substance in her body, she has to burn it all up. And there’s only one quick solution_.” That alone had told Kageyama what he needed to do.

Still, it gave him no joy to think about it.

Seijoh started to close up, with the staff ushering the remaining visitors out. But Kageyama knew that it was business as usual underground; Oikawa was an insomniac who always liked to keep his people up in the wee hours of the morning.

He got up, grabbed his bags, and headed towards the elevator that took him up to the infirmary. Although he didn’t like interrupting Akihiro and Y/N’s time together, he didn’t exactly like the idea of him and Alisa traveling late at night.

“Excuse me,” he said timidly to one of the nurses on duty. “Where is Y/N’s ward?”

The nurse checked her clipboard before looking at him. “Room 8, down the hall and to the right,” she said. “But, sir, visiting hours are almost over—”

“I won’t be long,” he promised. “I just need to check on her.”

The nurse nodded and left him alone.

As Kageyama turned the corner, he saw the door to Room 8 open. He froze, but then relaxed as he saw Alisa coming out. She managed a smile.

“They’re doing great,” she assured him. “They’ve mended their relationship somewhat. In fact, there’s even talk of Akihiro staying with Y/N permanently once everything is settled.”

Relief flooded Kageyama’s system. “That’s good to hear. And what about you?”

Alisa nodded. “We’re good. Cleared things up as well. Apparently, Lyovochka has been doing more than helping Y/N during her stay at Nekoma—he was also that mystery intel that helped Bokuto and Kenma learn about Kuroo’s motives.”

At this, Kageyama’s jaw dropped. “Really? But…I always assumed it was Kenma…”

“Y/N figured it out early on,” Alisa said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “And Lyovochka was the one she trusted to…to…to carry out her plan.”

Now, _that_ , Kageyama knew about.

They simultaneously turned to see Akihiro leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Although he looked like he’d been crying, he looked the happiest he’d been in a while.

“You ready to go?” Alisa asked, smiling at him.

“Yes.” Akihiro held her hand, and looked up at Kageyama. “Thank you, Kageyama-san. For everything.”

Kageyama cracked a smile. “Sure, kiddo. Take care of yourself now.”

Akihiro then pulled away from Alisa to give him a hug, one that took him by surprise. He stiffened at first, but hugged him back as best as he could.

“Why don’t you head back to the car first?” Alisa suggested, as soon as he pulled away. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Akihiro agreed and left. Kageyama could have sworn that there was a little skip in his steps.

Alisa smiled as she watched him go. “It does my heart good to see him in good spirits.”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like he’s one of the many who will be leaving me soon,” she added, trying to sound humorous.

Kageyama looked back at her, and found that she wass already looking at him.

Haiba Alisa had remained by his side in his darkest hours. She’d been there, ready to risk it all to help him, willing to do anything and everything for his sake, as well as Lev’s, Akihiro’s, and Y/N’s. She was by far the kindest, the most selfless, and undoubtedly one of the bravest women he’d ever met. She was as luminous as her hair, glowing up the night like she was the moon personified, and her eyes, ever so unique, showed tranquility in the midst of chaos.

Logically, she would have been the most sensible choice.

But he was sure things like this didn’t have to make sense. Perhaps he loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her. Either way, Kageyama was sure that Alisa would always occupy a fraction of his heart—a heart that he’d already given to someone else.

“Thank you,” he managed, mustering up the courage to grab her hand.

She responded by moving closer to him, fixing him with her heterochromatic eyes. Her free hand reached up to touch his cheek.

“Can…” she struggled for the words. “Can you just…do me this one favor?”

Kageyama paused, before nodding slowly.

And her lips were on his.

It didn’t seem like she was touching them; in fact, it felt as soft as the fingers she’d placed on his cheek, like a feather brushing against his skin. It was quiet and fleeting, too, that he barely even noticed that she had pulled away.

Her eyes searched his. Looking for something. _Anything_.

But they only found a silent apology.

Alisa smiled again. “Thank you,” she said. “Good luck.”

And then she was gone.

Kageyama swallowed. Everything had gone by too quickly—even eight months seemed like a blink of an eye. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever noticed Alisa’s advances towards him, but it was all summed up in that moment.

It also confirmed that she would always be his biggest “what if”.

He stood there for a while, processing the events that had just transpired. He tried to tuck those memories away, just for a few moments, while he dealt with the situation in front of him.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“Hello?” he called.

No answer. He hesitated before grabbing the doorknob. _Should I…_?

Kageyama knocked again, this time pushing the door slightly open. “Y/N? Pardon the intrusion…”

To his surprise, he found the room empty.  
He checked the door outside; he had not made a mistake, it was still Room 8. But the bed inside was empty, and so was the bathroom.

_Where did she go_? he wondered as he let himself in, looking around. He saw various get-well-soon gifts, like food and teddy bears and whatnot, littering the desks next to the bed. A big bouquet of forget-me-nots stood in the middle of it all, and Kageyama had no problems guessing who the sender was.  
But the receiver herself was missing.

Kageyama wondered if she had stepped out while he and Alisa were still talking, and the thought that she might have seen the whole thing made his cheeks heat up.

And then he saw it—a flash of white, and a sudden breeze that entered the room. His eyes had somehow skipped over the patio doors, eerily similar to the ones she had in her room back in HQ. He moved closer to see what was happening.

There, leaning on the balcony railings while an IV stand stood next to her, was a young woman with long, unkempt hair in a shitty hospital gown. She seemed to be basking in the moonlight with her eyes closed, taking steady breaths as she did so.

Kageyama felt his chest tighten as she turned to look over her shoulder, and it must have shown on his face. Because then, she broke into a smile.

“Hello, dumbass,” Y/N greeted him with his favorite word. “Miss me?”


End file.
